Cosmic Castaways
by xotakux2002x
Summary: In the distant future, humans are at war with an alien race called Falks.  But not everything in this war is as it seems, and it's up to our heroes to find out who's really pulling the strings. Akatsuki story, meaning sasodei kakuhidan kisaita peinkonan
1. Prologue

characters through this story (c) masashi kishimoto

* * *

><p>Once upon a time, there existed a small blue planet called Earth. The globe was populated by humans, which were unlike any other beings the planet had to offer. These humans considered themselves unique and alone in the universe. At least, until they met the Falks.<p>

It happened on a normal day; people were going about their daily routines, as per usual, when a spaceship flew out of the sky and crashed into the planet.

It had landed in the middle of a city; videos were posted all over the internet before the government even had time to think of an appropriate cover-up story. Women and children hid in their homes, fearful of the fallen spacecraft. Men were quick to arm themselves and charge surround the unknown vehicle, prepared for a battle.

Hours ticked by, and there was no signs of movement from the ship, or its crew. People grew wary, and there was talk of government intervention. Suddenly, the craft let out a low whine, and ejected steam from its base. Soldiers snapped to attention, as did the local media, and around the world, people waited to see what sort of fate lay in store for them.

Slowly, a door opened on the bottom of the spaceship. Not a single pair of eyes dared turn away from the crashed saucer as a pair of thin, pinkish legs came into view.

Panic was soon replaced by curiosity and talk of conspiracy. From what the humans could see, the pilot of the craft appeared human. Slowly, the being descended as more and more flesh came into view; the upper legs, the torso, the neck, the head-

And there the similarities stopped.

Yes, the being had a human-shaped skull, mouth, nose, and brown hair on its head; but the eyes on its face bore a decidedly hawk-like resemblance. Their ears were small and pointed, as if designed for one of Santa's elves.

It looked around at its surroundings, standing bare for the world to see, save for a dark green tunic and brown boots, both made of unknown materials. Carefully and cautiously, it began to approach the humans.

Most of the people stepped away; one brave reporter, however, dared to stay rooted to the spot and waited for the alien to approach.

The being stepped closer and closer, never once looking away from the brave investigator. This human was the only one not scared away, and if the damaged space ship was any indication, the alien needed help.

He continued his advances, until only a few feet separated the two of them. Standing there before the reporter, he opened his mouth-

And out escaped a low hiss.

Many people jumped, but the human simply gave the alien an odd look. The alien returned it, before seeming to start and realize something. It turned away, muttering under its breath while rubbing its temples in an agitated manner. Finally, it spun around to look at the human again. Once again, the being opened its mouth. "Hello…this is Earth, yes?"

-mm-

Through broken English, the alien informed the humans that he was Zeke, he hailed from the planet Verden, and was a member of the Falk race.

His people had picked up on satellite signals from this distant planet, and were eager to confirm if life existed. After being given a crash course in English based on the transmissions their received, Zeke was sent to investigate.

Tragically, the alien had not foreseen such a thick atmosphere on Earth, and his ship had barely been able to make it to the troposphere without burning up. The crash landing had been unintentional; just the only option he had in the face of his plight.

Popular opinion cried for this male to be returned to his people. With the help of a little government equipment, the connection was made with planet Verden, and not but a few days later, Zeke was reunited with some of his people, including a few Falkians with a slightly better grasp of English than what he possessed.

A relationship began between the two planets. The humans wanted the Falks' technology, and the Falks wanted…well, everything. Human culture, art, sports, all of it fascinated them beyond belief. Their own lifestyle had evolved on the basis of logic before all else; the idea of creating beauty or recreation for pleasure was a fascinating and new concept to them.

For a time, the relationship prospered. And then, like all good things, it came to an end.

Tragedy struck one day, when a Falkian warship came into earth's orbit and fired a laser blast at the moon, scarring the once pearly treasure of the night sky. The Falkians claimed that the ship had gone out of control; the humans screamed treason.

Tensions rose between the races, until at least the heated and violent humans declared war on the Falkians, using the aliens' own technology against them on the battlefield. The Falkians responded with equal force. Thus began what future textbooks would commonly refer to as the Verdenian War.

-ten years later-

A blonde male sprinted down the hall of the spaceship, panting heavily as he ran. He had to make it to the hangar, before they caught him.

The teen suddenly stopped, blue hawk eyes going wide as he heard the sound of someone approaching. Body reacting before his mind could, the young male ducked into an open door. He froze, heart beating at a frenzied pace until the sounds of the Falkian guards' voices disappeared. Heaving a sigh of relief, he poked his head out into the corridor and looked around before stepping out from his hiding spot. Right, time to go.

Bolting again, he ran down the empty corridor before coming to a large, black metal door. Frantically looking around and seeing no one, the blonde opened the door and disappeared into the room.

This was the hangar of the space carrier he was traveling on at the moment. The blonde could have laughed; being dragged around by your master on a leash and collar wasn't exactly his idea of traveling. The male balled his hands into fists. No, the life of a slave wasn't for him. Not at all. That was why he was trying to escape.

Up until today, that had been impossible. All the warships in the hangar were of Falkian make and model; thus, his master could calm them back to the main ship with only the press of a button. Yet the day before, they'd captured an enemy human craft and brought it into the ship, in order to disassemble it and find out exactly how fast the humans were catching up to their flyers' standards.

Creeping along the metal floor, Deidara looked for an out of place ship. He'd been studying how to pilot Falkian flyers for a few years now; as long as the human technology wasn't too out of date, he could still pilot the craft. His blue eyes caught sight of a beaten up spaceship sitting in the corner of the aircraft hangar. There!

-meanwhile-

Sasori sat on a bench, impatiently tapping his foot against the metal ground beneath his feet. No one else occupied the briefing room with the Akasuna; he couldn't even hear any sounds coming from the nearby hallway. For a warship, this place was rather boring.

His thoughts were interrupted by loud footsteps signaling someone's approach. Sasori looked up at the doorway to see a tall, blue-skinned man enter the room. He raised a brow, but refrained from voicing his question out loud.

"No, it's not a tattoo, I was born this way. No, I am not a shark, I do not have shark traits, and I would appreciate it if you refrained from mentioning anything having to do with "Jaws," in my presence," the newcomer stated.

The words took Sasori by surprise. Apparently this man was used to having questions like Sasori's directly asked to him.

The blue person sighed and smiled at the redhead. "Now that that's out of the way. I'm Kisame Hoshigaki, the commander of this ship. I take it you're Sasori Akasuna?"

"Right, sir," the redhead answered as he stood to salute his commanding officer.

"For Kami's sake, don't worry about saluting around here," Kisame reprimanded with a grin. "Makes people too uptight, ya know?"

"Right, then," Sasori answered while slowly lowering his arm back to his side.

"According to my records, you're a pretty good pilot and a damn good shot."

Sasori nodded in affirmation. All of the info was accurate; he'd graduated at the top of his class in the academy.

"Good. Then you won't have any problems with going on a training flight right now with some of the veteran flyers, would ya?"

The Akasuna was a bit surprised at the question. He'd barely even been on the ship for an hour, he hadn't even been to his room, and yet the captain wanted him to leave now?

After a few moments of pondering, Sasori decided that this must be some kind of test and nodded. "I'll be ready to leave immediately."

The shark grinned at him. "Good. Leave your stuff in here; you can get it if you come back."

"You mean _when_I come back?"

"Nope. I've gone through enough rookies to know that I should say 'if', not 'when'."

-mm-

Sasori took a deep breath as the flyer roared to life beneath his fingertips. This was where he belonged; in the cockpit of a spaceship, with all the controls at his fingertips.

The redhead looked to his left, and then his right. Two others would be flying on the run with him. The first was a foul-mouthed man named Hidan, who supposedly swore in battle as much as he shot. The other was Tobi; an idiot who was regarded by the other men aboard the ship as a good luck charm. All these facts had been crammed into him by Kisame just before the redhead was shoved into a pilot's uniform and tossed into a battleship. "Oi, fire crotch, ready to go?"

That must be the one called Hidan. Quickly tapping the side of his helmet to activate his communicator, Sasori answered, "Yes. Hidan, right?"

"How'd you know?"

"Kisame told me."

"Because Kisame's a good boy like Tobi!"

"Tobi, shut the hell up!"

"If you ladies are done jabbering," Kisame's voice cut in, "we're about to open the hangar doors. Ready?" Three affirmatives were heard. "All right, here we go then."

Sasori's hands nervously gripped the controls as his eyes stared at the large metal doors before him. Sure, he'd flown before, but that had been on the training grounds back on Earth. Now, he was actually going to be flying in the dark, black, endless vacuum of space.

By the time he had the chance to process his worries, the door was open, revealing a pitch black surface dotted by hundreds upon thousands of stars. With a war whoop, Hidan took off from his spot. Tobi was quick to follow suit, encouraging Sasori to hurry, "or you'll get left behind!"

The boy's words were enough for Sasori, and in only a second he'd slammed down the throttle and shot out into the glory of outer space.

For a moment, the Akasuna could only glance around him. The night seemed to go on for forever, the only objects breaking the monotony of the dark landscape the flying ships and occasional star. A massive planet loomed on the horizon, dark green with two bright white moons orbiting around it. To say the sight was breathtaking would be a gross understatement.

Before he could take in the sights any more, though, a loud beeping came from his radar. He looked down at the screen to see several blips moving closer and closer to him. Frowning, he pressed his communicator again. "Hidan, what's going on?"

There was a crackling noise as Hidan's communicator came to life. "Bogeys," the foul-mouthed pilot answered curtly. "Looks like the bastards are chasing one of our guys."

"What are we gonna do?" Tobi asked.

"Tch, what the hell do you think?" Hidan snapped. "Shoot 'em down!"


	2. Chapter 1

Deidara swore to himself as the plane flew out of the hangar. Maybe he should have thought about his escape plan a bit more carefully before actually taking any action.

The blonde had realized that in order to escape, he'd need to leave on an enemy ship. Naturally, he studied any and every scrap of information he could find on piloting human aircraft. When the opportunity presented itself in the form of a hostage flyer, Deidara had leapt at the chance to run away, before he lost the only escape route ever presented to him. The one major detail that the male overlooked was that while he was within the spacecraft, he couldn't open the hangar door. This left Deidara with two options; either forfeit his plan now and return to his room before anyone noticed his absence, or use the ship's weapons to blast through the metal door and pray that he escaped before his master's men gave chase.

With a determined look on his face, the blonde had started up the ship and hurriedly blasted a hole in the door.

He was only in space for a few moments before another hangar opened, and the soldiers within gave chase. The blonde had shot off, praying he could evade the men. Deidara knew they wouldn't dare shoot him down; his master would make their lives short and painful for destroying his favorite plaything like that. No, they'd simply attempt to fly close enough to the blonde to harpoon his ship's wings, and then tow Deidara back to the ship. The blonde had no intention of letting them succeed in their task.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a loud beeping coming from his radar. "Hmm?"

Deidara looked first to the blinking green screen, and then to the void of space before him. He could barely make out the forms of a few human flyers ahead of him.

An idea quickly occurred to Deidara; one that, if it worked, would almost guarantee his freedom. "Where is it, un," he muttered as his blue eyes scanned the interior of the stolen vehicle. He gave a small "A-ha!" as he finally located the object he'd been searching for in the ship. With a hurried movement, his fingers pressed the button.

-mm-

Sasori's frown intensified as he heard a fast, constant beeping coming in through his communicator. The foreign ship was sending out a distress signal. That meant that the pilot was either injured or incapable of fighting his pursuers, possibly both. "Hidan-"

"Yeah, I hear it too," the man answered. "Sasori, Tobi and me'll take care of these bastards; you get that poor son of bitch back to the ship, ok?"

The redhead frowned at being assigned to escort, but realized that arguing with veteran pilots on his first day might not be the best course of action he could take. "Roger," he answered before moving away from the soon-to-be combat zone. He needed to circle around and fly beside the newcomer, thus ensuring both the pilot's safety and an easy way to lead them back to the ship.

Tragically the fighting broke out before Sasori could get close to the endangered pilot. The redhead saw laser blasts in his peripheral vision fire at his friends, but did his best to ignore it. "Attention," he said into the communicator. "Newcomer, please follow me to safety." When no answer came, Sasori was forced to conclude that either the pilot was choosing to ignore him (which was highly unlikely, since the unidentified person had sent out a distress signal) or did not possess a functioning communicator.

Before the Akasuna could attempt to figure out which answer was correct, a stray laser blast caught the new ship's wing. The Akasuna watched in horror as the damaged ship swerved, and began a rapid descent towards the nearby green planet. "Hidan!"

"I saw!"

"What should I do?"

"Go after him! Tobi and I can cover our own asses up here."

"Hidan's right," Tobi affirmed. "Now be a good boy and go help them!"

Sasori muttered a soft reply to his friends before shooting off after the distressed ship. With any luck, the pilot would be able to land, and Sasori could simply provide the person with a lift back to the warship.

-mm-

It took the Akasuna several moments more to breach the planets atmosphere, and then a little longer to actually arrive at the crash sight.

The world he was descending upon was covered in thick, lush jungles, indicating that a possible breathable atmosphere existed. His computer confirmed the suspicion moments later when a robotic voice calmly informed him that an oxygen mask would not be required on the world's surface, nor would he need any special protective clothing to venture out into the tropical planet.

It took Sasori quite a bit of time to find an area relatively clear enough to safely land his ship, and after that he had quite a trek back to the area where the other ship had smashed into the planet's surface. The redhead counted the pilot as lucky to have even survived such a crash into the trees; that is, if the mysterious flyer was even still alive.

Daydreaming like that always makes time go faster, and before the redhead knew it, he was in front of the wreckage. Once he was able to tears his eyes away from the twisted, burning lumps of metal that had once been a ship, he caught sight of an injured blonde lying on the ground. As best he could figure, the male had survived the crash, crawled out of the spacecraft, and then collapsed to the ground. Nervous about the person's condition, Sasori hurried over.

Closer inspection revealed that the male was rather effeminate; most people might have suspected him of being a female. Long blonde hair cascaded down his back, covering both his face and ears. Eyes decorated with the barest amount of eyeliner were closed, and the person appeared to be sleeping. With graceful ease, Sasori hefted the person off the ground and began walking towards his ship. "Let's get you home."

-mm-

Fate seemed opposed to the idea of Sasori and the stranger returning to Kisame and the rest of the soldiers, though. When he arrived back at the ship, the Akasuna was promptly informed by his onboard computer that the ship's battery was almost completely drained, and already unnecessary functions like the communicator and radar had been cut off. Thus, the redhead would either have to plug it into a power source and recharge the energy source, or open the solar panels and allow the ship to refuel itself via sunlight. Sadly, neither option was viable, as this planet was clearly primitive, and the sun was already setting. Meaning that Sasori and the blonde would have to spend the night in the wilderness and pray for good weather in the morning. "Damnit!"

Several hours later the redhead had a roaring fire going, the blonde resting on one side of the flames with himself on the other. Sasori had decided to wait and see if the blonde woke up; if not, he would be admitted to the hospital under the pretense of having a coma.

Groans from the male broke Sasori's mind back to reality. So, the pilot was finally going to wake up.

Deidara slowly blinked his eyes open, trying to recall what had happened. He remembered crashing into the ground, and then trying to walk away from the wreckage, and then…nothing.

Slowly, the blonde pushed himself up, tucking a few stray locks of hair behind his ears as he took in his surroundings. _"Where am I, un?"_He heard a soft gasp, and quickly jerked his head to face the source of the noise.

Sasori had been completely shocked to see a pair of blue, hawkish eyes open when the person woke at long last. Even more startling were the pointed ears that blonde hair no longer concealed. Without realizing it, the redhead had aided a Falkian. How sick was that?

Deidara, meanwhile, was panicking. He'd been found by a **human**; that could end worse than being returned to his master. The worst his owner could do was beat him, but that always ended with the blonde being given something as an apology. Humans might kill him on the spot. And this redhead was armed.

As soon as Sasori reached for his gun, the blonde threw up his arms in defense and curled up into himself. "Don't shoot, un!"

The Akasuna froze, as did the blonde. For a few, painfully long seconds, they stared at each other. Not moving his hand from his weapon, Sasori began to talk. "You speak English?"

"A bit, un."

Warily, Sasori removed his hand from his weapon, and the blonde relaxed his body ever so slightly. "Where'd you learn?"

"I had a friend who lived among humans, un. And I used to watch TV…"

Sasori nodded. That explained it. Once upon a time, human programs had been all the rage on Verden, as were their major languages. You could still find a fair number of Falkians that spoke fluent French or Spanish; English was a bit harder to come by. "Your name?"

"Deidara, un. Yours?"

"…"

"Well?"

"Sasori."

The blonde nodded his head at the answer. "Sasori danna, un."

"No, it's Sasori."

Deidara fervently shook his head. "Sasori danna, un."

The redhead was beginning to get annoyed; maybe he should shoot the blonde after all. "Why am I danna?"

"Because danna saved me and spared me, un," Deidara answered as he cautiously approached the Akasuna. Sasori recoiled ever so slightly from the advance, but made no move towards his weapon.

Deidara's world was beginning to spin; he realized that it probably wasn't a good idea to move around so much after crashing a spaceship into the side of a planet, but refused to halt his movements towards the redhead.

Soon, they were separated by mere inches. Deidara leaned forward on all fours, face dangerously close to Sasori's. The human remained seated in his cross-legged position, waiting to see what the blonde would do.

"You are my danna," Deidara stated firmly. "You're the reason I'm still here, un." The redhead saw the alien's eyes droop ever so slightly as his body swayed. "So take responsibility for your actions, Sasori danna, un." The blonde suddenly collapsed, his head landing in the soldier's lap.

Sasori stared down at the bomber in sheer disbelief, before looking up at the starry sky. Exactly what had he gotten himself into?


	3. Chapter 2

Deidara slept all through the night and well into the next morning. Sasori didn't get an ounce of sleep; how could he, when a Falkian enemy was curled up on his lap, slumbering peacefully?

Several times Sasori was tempted to simply take his pistol, press it to the blonde's temple, and then shoot the male. His problem of what to do about Deidara would be solved, and he could then wait for his ship to recharge, fly back to his commander, and pretend that this whole encounter with the Falk had never even occurred.

Yet no matter how many times he ran the plan through his head, the Akasuna couldn't bring himself to actually do it. It didn't seem right to shoot the male, when he was lying so helplessly before Sasori. So trusting of his danna-

Whoa, stop that thought right there. The blonde may have called him by that suffix, but Sasori refused to be his danna. But to be honest, he wasn't entirely opposed to the idea-

The flyer violently shook his head. He needed to stop thinking that way. Such musings could lead to treason, if he wasn't careful. He had to use good judgment and logic if he wanted to find a way out of this mess.

Deidara mumbled softly in his sleep and nuzzled his head into Sasori's lap, distracting the redhead from his thoughts. He looked down to see the Falkian male smiling happily in response to whatever dream was dancing through his pretty head at the moment.

Well, maybe logic wasn't always the best course of action.

-mm-

Morning came soon enough, and not long after the sun rose Sasori's computer calmly informed the redhead that his ship was completely recharged and ready to take-off. All that was missing now was the pilot.

Even now, Sasori could very easily rid himself of his little blonde problem. The Akasuna could send the blonde off into the woods to get water or something, and then depart before the alien could return.

The idea was shattered when Deidara popped up in front off him, a joyful smile painted on his face as he asked, "Are we leaving now, danna?"

Against his better judgment, the redhead nodded. "Yeah. Go ahead and hop in." Eyes sparkling with delight, the blonde scrambled onto the plane's wing, and quickly leapt into the cockpit.

"I'm going to regret this," Sasori muttered as he rubbed his temples. Nevertheless, the flyer soon found himself inside the spacecraft with Deidara. In only a matter of moments, they were off.

But now, Sasori was presented with a bigger problem than simply deciding whether or not to get rid of Deidara. He realized that if he wanted to avoid being court-martialed, he'd need to sneak Deidara into his room. That would involve getting around an army of highly-trained, Falk-hating soldiers who were armed to the teeth, never mind the surveillance cameras plastered all over the walls of the base.

The Akasuna swore and tossed his head back, eyes shut. This blonde was becoming a huge problem.

"Danna? What's that word mean, un?"

A VERY huge problem.

Fortunately for the distressed Akasuna, an answer presented itself to him in the form of very familiar swearing in his communicator. "Sasori? Dumbass, say something, damnit!"

"Hidan?"

"Who else? Jashin damnit, we thought you were dead-hey, this means Tobi owes me five bucks!" Loud cackling was soon heard over the communicator.

"Hidan?" Sasori broke in.

"Yeah?"

"Is there an actual reason you contacted me? Besides to confirm that you've won your little bet?"

"Just telling ya that those Falkian bastards shot up the ship pretty damn bad after you left. The Akatsuki's gotta go back to Konoha Station so the mechanics can clean up all the shit that got shot up. Damn those Falks to hell…"

"Anything else?" Sasori asked while casting a nervous glance down towards Deidara. The blonde had spent the better part of their flight seated quietly at the redhead's feet, in order to hide himself from sight. The Jashinist's words had caused a worried look to come across Deidara's face, and he curled himself tightly into a little ball.

"The whole ship's down right now. No lights, no elevators, we're lucky we still have fucking life-support!"

Sasori felt his heart leap at the words. With no security cameras on him and no way to definitely tell the blonde apart from another solider wandering about in the dark, the Akasuna could most assuredly get Deidara to his room. "Thanks Hidan. Is it at least safe to dock?"

"Tch, I guess. The damn hangar doors are running on a generator or something, so you should be able to dock if you do it fast enough."

"All right, thanks." The line went dead, and the redhead proceeded to fly towards the Akatsuki.

Upon closer inspection, Sasori could definitely see that the battleship had been on the receiving end of a rather brutal battle. It appeared as though the entire vessel had been shot at, with melted portions of the side testifying that lasers had been involved at some point. Part of the ship's rear was completely gone, and broken bits of metal and wires were now floating around the damaged warship.

Refocusing his attention on the hangar (which miraculously appeared to have sustained relatively little damage) Sasori maneuvered his way into the ship. Once inside, he waited for the hangar door to close before shutting off his engine and opening his own spacecraft.

The human extracted a flashlight from the emergency supply pack in his ship, before using it to survey his surroundings. A quick look around told Sasori that no one else was in the area. Nodding to himself, the Akasuna hopped out of the cockpit to land on the plane's wing. From there, he slid off to land on the floor, barely making a sound as he did so. Sasori then turned his head to look up at the ship, only to see that Deidara had yet to emerge. "Deidara, come on," he ordered.

The blonde cautiously poked his head out, giving the area a quick once-over before deciding that he was not in any danger. Deidara hurriedly removed himself from the ship, and leapt down to stand beside the flyer. "Now what, un?"

"I'm taking you to my room," Sasori answered. The Akasuna was already crossing the room as he spoke, and Deidara had to hurry to catch up with the redhead. "Deidara, keep your eyes down and ears covered. We don't want to be caught."

The blonde chuckled. "I'm not stupid enough to give myself away Sasori danna, un." Nevertheless, Deidara heeded the human's orders and moved his blonde locks to cover his pointed ears, before following the Akasuna into the main body of the ship.

A look up and down the hallway confirmed that the duo was alone. Sasori hurried forward, and the Falk was fast on his heels. The trip to Sasori's room was among the most stressful moments of the Akasuna's life. Every little sound sent a wave of fear over his body, and each and every shadow appeared to be the approaching figure of Kisame. His anxiety did nothing to ease Deidara's fears; it was actually a miracle the poor blonde didn't faint from the stress.

After an agonizing ten minutes, the two found themselves in the sanctuary of Sasori's private quarters. At least, he hoped it was his room. The Akasuna hadn't actually been in his chambers yet, and had been forced to wander around the living quarters until he came across a door with "Akasuna" in the nameplate. Now he had to hope that he was the only Akasuna on this ship…

Hurrying Deidara into the room, Sasori was quick to shut the door behind them, before heaving a sigh of relief. They were safe.

Deidara wandered around the room, trying his hardest to observe his new surroundings by the light of Sasori's flashlight. "Danna, we'll be staying here until the ship returns to Konoha Station, correct?"

Sasori was about to say something to the blonde in regards to Deidara's frequent use of the word "we", but decided not to make a mountain out of a molehill and let it slide. "Correct. And you will be staying in here longer than that, for your own safety."

"How long, un?"

"Until I can figure out some way to get you back to my home without getting caught," Sasori admitted. He couldn't keep the Falk with him on the ship; that would be suicide. He'd need to transport the blonde to Earth, somehow...

"What's your home like, un? Where is it? Do you have any family, un?" Deidara inquired eagerly as he took a seat on the Akasuna's bed.

"Why should I tell you any of that?" Sasori demanded.

"Because I wanna know, un! And it's not like we have anything better to do, un."

"Deidara-"

"Tell me tell me tell me!" Deidara commanded as he bounced up and down on the bed eagerly.

Sasori was beginning to wonder if he'd acquired some sort child from the plane crash instead of a full-grown male. "Deidara, how old are you?"

"I'll tell you my story if you tell me yours first!" Deidara negotiated.

Sasori could barely see a smirk on the blonde's face in the darkness. With a sigh, he settled down beside Deidara. May as well start at the beginning. "Deidara, I've lived on Earth for my whole life…"


	4. Chapter 3

Sasori took a moment to set his flashlight on the ground, pointing it upwards so that the light would bounce off his low ceiling and provide the room with some illumination, albeit rather poor. Deidara sat cross-legged on the room's single bed, practically bouncing up and down in his seat, while the Akasuna sat on the floor, seated near the flashlight in case the ship's movements caused it to tip over. "As a child, I lived with my grandmother in a sort of oasis, out in the middle of the desert-"

"Danna, what does oasis mean?" Deidara inquired.

"An oasis is...well, it's sort of like a patch of life and water out in the middle of a barren wasteland." Deidara nodded, indicating that Sasori could continue. "My parents died when I was little, but I'm not exactly aware of the precise details. By the time I was old enough to remember anything, they weren't around to be remembered." Sasori cast a look up at the blonde. "Understand so far?"

"Mostly, un," Deidara admitted with a laugh.

Sasori frowned to himself; he'd have to do something about this language barrier later. "I stayed with my grandma until I was grown-"

"Grandmother's the same as grandma, then?"

"...Yes. I stayed there until I was an adult, and then I left to see the rest of the world. I eventually joined the military and became a pilot. As it turns out, I can fly aircrafts rather well. Soon after I finished my training, I was transported to this ship. Not too long after I arrived, you showed up. I followed you to the planet we're currently orbiting, brought you back here, and now we're here."

Deidara stretched his arms above his head and yawned before flopping down on the bed, legs halfway curled up to his chest as he used one arm for a pillow. "Boring, un."

"What do you mean, 'boring'?"

"You humans are supposed to be creative and amazing, un. But that's one of the most uninteresting stories I've ever heard, un. Sasori danna, you're living a Falkian lifestyle inside a human body."

Wondering why he hadn't bothered to shoot the blonde earlier when the chance was presented to him, the redhead crawled across the room to the foot of his cot, where his duffle bag of baggage sat. He undid the drawstring on the luggage and began rifling through its contents, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

Not moving from his spot, Deidara looked down towards his danna. "Sasori danna, what are you doing, un?"

Suddenly, a triumphant grin lit up the Akasuna's face. He returned to his previous spot, but this time with a mysterious bundle in his arms. Once he was certain that he had Deidara's attention, Sasori removed the dark fabric that his newly-gained item was wrapped in, and allowed the material to fall to the floor. Now laid bare for all to see, Sasori held up the object for Deidara's eyes to inspect.

Bright blue eyes looked over the small doll. It appeared to be a young girl, her brown hair pulled loosely back into pigtails. Her body was adorned by a chocolate colored dress, and her hands and feet were bare. As best Deidara could tell, the doll was made not from stuffed fabric, but from some harder substance, perhaps plastic or wood.

The Akasuna grinned as he saw the look on Deidara's face. The alien was definitely not bored now. "What is that, un?"

Sasori held the doll's head with one hand while the other moved to its back. The digits appeared to be fiddling with something for a moment, before moving away from the torso, strings now attached to each fingertip. "It's a puppet," he explained before releasing the female's head to be supported only by the strings.

Deidara watched with childlike awe as his danna made the toy walk, dance, and even curtsy to the blonde. "Did you make this, un?" he asked quietly as he watched the puppet pirouette.

"Of course," Sasori replied, not quite able to keep all the pride out of his tone. "I enjoy making puppets in my spare time, Deidara. It's my art."

"Art, un..." Deidara hmmphed and frowned. "I wish Verden had more art, un. It would make our lives so much better."

"What kind of art do you mean?"

"I remember watching TV one time. These things...what were they...they shot up in the air and exploded into different colors, un."

"You mean fireworks?"

"Yes, those." The blonde sighed longingly as a dreamy look crossed his face. "Those explosions were so beautiful, un. I'd give anything to make them myself."

"How about I just take you to see a fireworks display sometime?" the redhead suggested. Letting the blonde try to make homemade explosives did not seem like a good idea by any stretch of the imagination, so perhaps he could negotiate with something equally pleasing to the blonde.

"Really? You'd do that for me, danna?" the alien inquired hopefully.

Sasori realized too late what he'd just agreed to do, but realized that now there was no way of backing out of his promise. "Yes, but only if you agree not to make any bombs before we get to Earth. Understand?"

"Yes danna," Deidara promised.

"Good." Sasori was about to rise and return the puppet to its resting place inside his bag, when the blonde suddenly leaned forward and snatched the doll up off the ground and clutched it to his chest as though it were a teddy bear. "Deidara, give it back."

"No, un. I want it."

"Brat, it's not yours."

"You owe me a house-warming gift since I just moved in, un," the blonde argued. "This counts."

"Why do I owe you anything?"

"It's part of taking responsibility for me, un," the alien declared with a smile.

Sasori didn't feel like arguing, and he could always retrieve the puppet after Deidara fell asleep, so he decided to let the matter drop for the time being. Grumbling to himself, the redhead shut off the flashlight before he shoved the blonde to the other side of his mattress and climbed into bed, halfway hoping that when he woke up in the morning, this would all be nothing but a very sick dream.

The 'dream' only got worse when Deidara decided to snuggle into Sasori's side.

Instantly Sasori jerked aware from the contact. Unfortunately the military-issued cots were rather narrow, being built to only hold one person at a time, and as a result the human was sent tumbling to the ground, landing with a rather audible "MMPH!"

"Danna, why are you on the ground, un?" Deidara asked, curiously peering over the edge of the bed to look down through the darkness at the irate redhead.

"Why were you snuggling?"

"Snuggling, un? What's that mean?"

Sasori could feel a raging migraine on the horizon. "It's where you cuddle up against someone and sleep so that you're hugging them!"

"Ooooh. 'Cause I wanted to, un."

"Well don't do it again, " Sasori ordered as he rose from the ground and brushed himself off.

"Why, un?"

"Because...because you should only snuggle with someone you're really close to, I guess. Emotionally close, I mean."

"But you're my danna, un. Doesn't that count?"

"No-well yes-but, Deidara-grr, just sleep on your half of the bed, brat."

The blonde nodded and returned to his half of the mattress, smiling as he pulled the covers up to his chin and snuggled into Sasori's lone pillow.

Not long after, Sasori himself was also laying down on the cot, staring up at the dark ceiling as a hundred different thoughts ran through his head. One, however, stuck out more than the rest. He suddenly jerked his head to look at Deidara and said, "Hey, you said you'd tell me your story if I told mine."

"…"

"Brat?"

"…"

"Brat, say some-"

WHAM

Sasori's eye involuntarily twitched as Deidara retracted the hand that had oh-so-rudely smacked the redhead's face. "Go t'sleep," the alien mumbled in a drowsy tone.

The Akasuna grumbled to himself about the stupid blonde long after Deidara had drifted off into dreamland. This blonde was proving to be more troublesome than the Akasuna had originally supposed.


	5. Chapter 4

"Danna."

"…"

"Danna!"

"Mmm…"

"Sasori danna, wake up, un!"

Slowly, the redhead opened his eyes to see a smiling Deidara hovering mere centimeters away from his face. "Morning danna!"

"Brat, why are you up so early?"

"I'm hungry, un!"

Sasori resisted the urge to smack the far too cheery blonde, instead taking a deep breath before speaking again. "Might I ask why you didn't simply get up to get the food yourself?"

"Because we're on a human warship and I'm a Falk, un," was the blonde's immediate reply.

Oh, right. He had a Falkian refugee in his ro-

Deidara barely had time to move out of the way as Sasori shot bolt upright in bed. The Akasuna clutched his head in his hands and let out a loud groan. That was right, he'd taken an enemy alien back to his damaged warship. And on his first day on the job to boot!

Groaning again, he flopped back down onto his bed, his hands covering his face. Well this was perfect. Now what was he supposed to do? "Danna?"

The puppeteer removed his fingers from his eyes to look at the blonde. Deidara was currently looming over him again, this time wearing a concerned look on his face. "Are you all right Sasori danna, un?"

Sasori took a moment to gather himself before replying. "Aside from the fact that I just recalled I brought an enemy alien on board yesterday, I could be tried for treason now, and I have no idea what to do with said alien until we get to Earth, then yes, Deidara, I'm absolutely perfect."

"So…can I have breakfast now?"

Despite his annoyance, the redhead couldn't help but let out a brief laugh. Great. He'd taken in a Falk with a one-track mind. "Fine. Just give me a minute to get ready." The blonde nodded and patiently waited for Sasori to finish his preparations.

Once he was dressed, the Akasuna took the liberty of setting the alien down on the bed to give him a talk. "Now Deidara, I'm going to get you food. When I come back, I'll say, 'food time'. Until then, I want you to hide under my bed and wait. And no matter what, don't open the door for anyone, under any circumstances. All right?" Deidara gave a quick affirmative, before scurrying under the afore-mentioned mattress. Chuckling at the sight, Sasori left the room and locked the door behind him. The lights in the main hall were on, and he could now hear the din of the engines running. Hmm, they must have pulled into the station while he and Deidara were sleeping.

A short jaunt to the cafeteria confirmed his suspicions when he ran into Hidan and Tobi. The Akasuna hung around to talk with the men for a bit; Deidara wasn't going to starve if he had to wait a few more minutes, right? "So, how long will we be here?" the redhead asked as he seated himself at his friends' table. The spacious cafeteria wasn't too crowded now; most of the other soldiers must have been sleeping or off the ship.

"Hell if I know," the Jashinist answered. "They needed to order so replacement parts, so it could be a while."

"Tobi doesn't mind," the Uchiha pilot stated. Sasori watched in mild amazement as the Uchiha picked up a spoonful of food (on this occasion, scrambled eggs) slipped it under the bottom of his mask, and then have the spoon return moments later completely clean. So, the kid didn't even take off his mask at meals. "If Sasori is done staring at me, he should finish his food," Tobi suddenly reprimanded.

Immediately the Akasuna began nibbling at a piece of buttered toast on his tray. "Sorry. I just thought you'd at least take off your mask at meals."

"That could jeopardize Tobi's luck!"

When Sasori looked to Hidan for an explanation, the man just shook his head and said, "Don't ask."

"Tobi, why are you so happy about our delay?" Sasori queried.

"There's a small colony built around the station, Sasori! Tobi can go look in the shops and talk with all the locals."

"I'd advise against that," Hidan cut in. "The bastards around here are about as anti-war as you can get without being Jashin-damned hippies. If they take one look at your damned military uniform, you're a dead man."

Sasori nodded at his friend's warning and rose. "Thanks for the tip, Hidan. And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm heading back to my room."

"Why not stay here and eat with us?" Hidan said while looking at the redhead's mostly full plate.

Mind reeling for an explanation, Sasori finally came up with, "I'm not feeling too good at the moment. If my stomach gets better, I'll have this around to eat." Seeing that his friends weren't going to protest, the Akasuna at long last left the cafeteria.

The trip back to his room was short and uneventful, just as the puppeteer had hoped it would be. When he arrived at his chambers, Sasori was quick to first lock the door and then set the food down on the bed. Now for the blonde. "Food time."

The Akasuna was immediately assaulted by the Falk, who saw fit to quickly glomp the redhead and squeeze him tightly in an embrace. "Danna! I thought you were gone forever, un!"

"I was away for fifteen minutes," Sasori gasped out. He made a mental note that while Deidara was frail-looking, the blonde was probably physically stronger than any male on the ship. Must have something to do with Falkian body structures…

"Oh." Deidara blinked in surprise, having clearly thought the time interval was longer than that, before looking to the tray of food that now sat on Sasori's bed. "Breakfast!"

In less than thirty seconds the entire plate of food had been devoured by the blonde. Deidara grinned up at his stunned danna and shrugged. "What? I was hungry."

"I can see that," Sasori muttered as he stared at the empty plates. _"Not even a crumb big enough for a mouse…"_

"Sasori danna, what will we do today?"

The redhead paused to think. He could always explore the ship, but that sounded so dull. And he'd have to leave Deidara all alone for hours upon hours. What to do then? "Dei, I'm going to the settlement around this station. You will stay here."

"But that's so boring, un!" Deidara flopped down on the bed and began hissing and clicking in what Sasori could only assume was Falkian speak.

Instantly the redhead leapt forward and covered the blonde's mouth with his hand. "Deidara, hush!" he commanded.

The blonde stopped his grumbling long enough to look up at his danna. "Un?"

"Someone's going to hear you and take you away from me!"

The blonde's eyes widened slightly at Sasori's statement. Of course; how could he have been so foolish? "I'm sorry," he mumbled from beneath the redhead's grip.

"It's all right," the Akasuna reassured him. "Just be more careful in the future."

"Right. I'll just be more careful in the future, un," the blonde repeated.

"Do you have any idea what I said?"

"Un?"

-mm-

Ten minutes later and Sasori was off the ship and walking around the interior of Konoha Station in street clothes. He was curious to see what this settlement was like, and at the very least needed a Falkian/English dictionary.

The people seemed to have built shacks and houses for themselves wherever room could be found. Honestly, Sasori wasn't all that surprised. When you lived in a climate controlled space station, you didn't have a lot of real estate options at hand.

As he was making his way down a crowded street, the redhead eventually stumbled upon a small bookstore wedged between a Laundromat and a grocery store. The shop window had smudges on the outside, probably left over from small children pressing their faces to the glass and looking inside the dark store. The shop's interior was comprised of floor to ceiling bookshelves along the walls with a narrow, carpeted walkway between the shelves. Florescent lights overhead provided the deserted bookstore with its only illumination. Besides Sasori, the only other person in this rather dismal shop was an elderly woman sitting behind the counter near the store's entrance.

Sasori gave the shopkeeper a quick nod in her direction before venturing further into the store. Most of the books were old hardbacks with faded titles; here and there, he could pick out a dog-eared paperback that had seen far better days. Rather depressing, if you asked him.

By some miracle of fate, though, he was able to find a weathered dictionary in the rear of the store, surrounded by ragged magazines that boasted anti-Falk headlines and articles.

As he was retrieving the book from its long-standing place on the bookshelf, another work of literature with a bright red cover and faded gold lettering caught his attention. Cradling the dictionary in his arm, Sasori pulled out the book out of its place and turned it over to look at the title. The puppeteer had found an old copy of 1001 Arabian Nights.

At first, Sasori made to put the storybook back in its place. As it was about to be shelved, though, he recalled Deidara's complaint of boredom, and then looked to the dictionary in his other arm. If the blonde was going to blend in with humans on earth, he'd need to know how to read and write in at least one human language. Perhaps this could be a teaching tool. The blonde seemed like the type that would like a storybook anyway.

With these thoughts in mind, Sasori paid for the books at the front of the store and then exited the premises. Time to return to the ship and find a certain Falk.

-mm-

Sasori never made it to his room, though. As soon as he stepped onto the ship, the intercom crackled to life as a low monotone said, "Sasori Akasuna, please report to General Hoshigaki's office. Again, report to General Hoshigaki's office."

The redhead felt his heart race as he walked down the hallway in a silent panic. What now?


	6. Chapter 5

It didn't take long for Sasori's feet to carry him straight to Kisame's office. The soldier had a calm, indifferent exterior at the moment, but on the inside he was nothing but a bundle of nerves. He couldn't think of very many reasons for the General to want to speak with him; he was new on the job, hadn't broken any rules aboard the ship, and hadn't made any requests to speak to his superior. The only other reason Kisame could have for wanting to speak with him would involve Deidara, and if that was the case, Sasori may as well tie on a blindfold and prepare for the firing squad.

The Akasuna still held out a shred of hope that he was safe; no need to jump to rash conclusions, after all. It was this ounce of optimism that gave him the courage to knock on the General's door, and step inside when he heard the shark tell him to enter.

The blue-skinned commander was sitting at his desk, looking over what appeared to be a mission report with a frown on his face. Sasori felt his pulse increase at the sight; this did not bode well for him. "You wanted to see me, sir?" he asked with a salute

The shark looked up from the file and nodded at Sasori. "Come in," he beckoned with his hand. "And at ease, soldier. You're not on trial or anything."

"_Yet_," Sasori mentally added as he took a seat across from the elder male. The puppet master currently felt like a child that's been sent to the principal's office and was trying to figure out what they'd done wrong before they were accused. He crossed his legs and sat back in the seat, trying to look relaxed and attentive at the same time. "Yes?"

"I was reading the report filed on the crash by your superiors," Kisame began, his eyes focused on the paperwork once more. "It says here that the ship in distress crashed, and the wreckage is beyond salvation. The guys hauled it up here for examination, of course."

"Of course," the redhead agreed.

"But the problem is they couldn't locate the pilot's body." Sasori's heart skipped a beat. "We thought that maybe some Falks had put the ship on autopilot or were remote controlling it, but the control panel wasn't tampered with in the slightest." At this, the shark looked up to Sasori. "You're the one that investigated the crash first. Any ideas about what happened to the pilot?"

The Akasuna's mind scrambled for a plausible explanation. If he waited too long or gave a poor excuse, his superior would grow suspicious, shattering any chances the redhead had of getting himself and Deidara safely out of this mess. "Sir, all I can tell you is that when I arrived at the crash scene, I couldn't find one of our fellow soldiers, injured or otherwise," the Akasuna admitted with a shrug. "I'm sorry for the trouble it's caused, but I couldn't exactly bring back a corpse that wasn't there in the first place."

Kisame looked at the redhead for a minute before nodding his head. "I guess that means some wild animal got hold of the guy and dragged him off. If he wasn't dead on sight, he certainly is now." The shark shook his head and sighed. "Great. Now I have to figure out who last flew that plane and write to the family."

"I don't envy you in the slightest," Sasori muttered quietly.

The General chuckled softly at the remark. "Most people don't," he stated. With another sigh, he closed the file on his desk and set it atop a stack of manila folders to his right. "That takes care of that. Sorry to bother you, private."

"It was no trouble at all," the puppeteer answered with a stand and a salute. Kisame returned the salute, and then calmly dismissed Sasori.

As the redhead was about to exit the room, he stopped in his tracks. There was a question he wanted to ask his commander. No, want wasn't a strong enough word; he **needed** to inquire. "Sir?"

"Hm?"

Sasori turned around to look back at the shark, who was already back to doing his paperwork. "I realize that they are the enemy, sir, but deep down…what is your take on the Falks?"

The shark cocked his head slightly at the question, his mouth drawn out into a thin line. "You starting to sympathize with the enemy?"

"No! I'm just curious as to what you think should be done with them when the war's over," Sasori hurriedly reasoned.

The shark looked down at his paperwork once again. The pencil held in his hand was being gripped tightly, and it took him a long while before he could respond. "Sasori, let me tell you a story."

"All right…"

"A long time ago, back when this war was still young, our Army tried to form an alliance with some of the Falks who either had close ties to the higher-ups or were prominent figures to the common man. You know, try and form dissenters on the inside."

"Unpopular wars don't last long after their fall from favor," Sasori agreed.

"Exactly. There was this one Falk that led the others; he went by the name of Itachi. He was quiet and calculating like most Falks are, but at the same time he had a sense of humor and could be very kind. We became fast friends and worked towards our mutual goal of peace."

"But something happened," Sasori guessed.

The shark nodded as his face grew dark. "Yeah. One day, we were shipping arms and supplies to an Army outpost near Verden. It was almost there-and then, a horde of Falks intercepted it. They took the whole lot, crew and all, aboard their ship before flying off.

The Army investigated, of course. The Falks shouldn't have been able to get that close; our radars would have picked up on their approach long before they came close enough to attack. We finally ruled that someone had shut off the defenses before the ship even left its dock."

"Sabotage?"

"Precisely. And Sasori, all the people aboard the ship were Falks."

"So, what you're saying is…"

"Someone sold us out to make a quick buck off their own people. And the only person who would have had the knowledge to do that was the one man I entrusted with the defense codes. Itachi." Sasori's heart sped up at the words, but he still managed to nod for the shark to go on. "I made the mistake of trusting a Falk once, Sasori, and it's an error I'll never make again. Take my advice, and don't make that mistake even once."

Sasori nodded his head at the words. "I understand, sir."

"Good. Dismissed then."

A few minutes later, Sasori was walking down the hall towards his room as a million thoughts ran through his mind. Kisame's statement seemed to agree with most of what Sasori had heard about Falks; that they were manipulative and cunning, using logic above all else yet were able to feign emotions perfectly when the time called for it. But that could mean…

Sasori paused outside his door as a truly upsetting thought sank in. What if it was all a hoax? If the blond was only using Sasori for the Falks' gain? Could Deidara just be part of a bigger plot, and was trying to worm his way into Sasori's confidence before moving in for the kill?

Somehow, the concept didn't seem right to Sasori. From the way he saw it, Itachi had been colder and more distant than his Falk, as if trying to keep himself away from the enemy. Deidara, in contrast, had all but thrown himself at the Akasuna's mercy, and trusted Sasori to take care of him and keep the two of them safe. Plus, the blond seemed to be rather childish, whereas Itachi had been professional enough to be used as a military aid.

Still trying to reassure himself about the blonde's loyalty, Sasori entered his room. "Deidara?"

The name had barely left his lips before the blond had glomped the poor soldier. "Danna!"

The Akasuna was barely able to stay on his feet long enough to carry Deidara to their bed and set the blond down on the semi-comfortable mattress. "Why do you insist on tackling me every time I walk through that door?"

The alien stared up at Sasori with wide eyes, a confused look on his face. "Don't you like it, un?"

"Of course! It just…Deidara, humans don't normally glomp each other on sight-"

"Glomp?"

"Like a tackle hug."

"Un."

"Anyway," Sasori continued, "I have something for you!"

"What is it?"

The Akasuna proceeded to extract the dictionary from his bag. "It's a translation dictionary. To help with the language barrier we have."

"Un?"

"Look it up," the redhead ordered as he tossed the volume to Deidara. "And once you're done with that…" Sasori smiled at the younger male and let the sentence trail off.

"What is it? Tell me!" Deidara begged as he bounced up and down on the bed.

With a quiet laugh, the Akasuna retrieved his other book for the Falk and handed it to the surprised male. "It's a fairy tale, called 1001 Arabian Nights. Once your English is good enough, you can read it."

"What's it about?" Deidara asked as he flipped through a few pages and frowned at the unreadable text.

"You have to read to find out, Deidara," the Akasuna calmly informed him.

"Awww! Danna, that's not fun, un!" The blond shoved the book into Sasori's face with a pleading look on his countenance. "At least read one chapter for me? Please?"

"That defeats the whole purpose of me…getting…" Sasori was unable to finish his lecture, due to the puppy eyes he was getting from Deidara. Darn that adorable Falk!

"All right," he conceded, making the blond let out a cheer. "But only the first chapter," he warned before seating himself near the blonde. "You can read the rest on your own."

"Of course, danna," the alien agreed as he snuggled into Sasori's side. Slender fingers opened the book to the first page and pointed to the top line. "Now read to me, un!"

And as Sasori began to read the tale to the curious little alien, he was beginning to think that those textbook descriptions of Falks being sly and whatnot weren't too far off the mark.


	7. Chapter 6

-two weeks later-

Sasori was quite amazed by Deidara's progress. Upon giving the blond the secondhand dictionary, the Falk had practically thrown himself into studying English. The first task was of course, learning the English alphabet; no point in trying to study a language from a book you can't read, after all. He already recognized most of the letters and sounds combinations from films (Sasori blessed Hollywood on a near-daily basis for that) so learning them directly took less effort than what the Akasuna had been expecting. All in all, things were going rather well. Except…"Deidara?"

"…"

"Deidara, answer me."

"…"

"Brat, the ship's under attack and we're about to be taken hostage by carnivorous moon people."

"Uh-huh. That's nice, un."

Sasori could have smacked the blond. Ever since he'd learned to read, Deidara could not stop reading the blasted book Sasori had bought for him. At the moment, Deidara was lying on the foot of Sasori's bed, kicking his legs behind him whilst his eyes scanned the pages of 1001 Arabian Nights. Sometimes the puppeteer thought that life would have been better if he'd never located that blasted story book.

The Akasuna finally gave up on trying to draw the Falk's attention away from the literature and plucked the book out of Deidara's hands. "Hey!"

"Deidara, you have to have read this thing at least a dozen times," Sasori chided. He sat down near the blond, who appeared to be rather irate at having the book taken away from him. "Why do you insist on rereading it?"

"But danna, it's so beautiful!" Deidara exclaimed as his eyes lit up. "Stealing from robbers and making wishes from genies and-"

"All right, all right, I get it," Sasori laughed softly before handing the book back. "Just don't get too excited, or someone will hear you."

"Un," the blonde agreed as he snatched the book away from his danna. In only a matter of seconds, he was back to reading the story.

A few minutes passed in a comfortable silence, before Sasori cleared his throat to speak again. "You know, you never did tell me your story."

"Un?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Deidara. You know all those words. Now, why haven't you told me anything about your past?"

The blond stared at the elder male for a long while. Eventually though, his gaze traveled to the wrinkled bed sheets beneath him as his hands shut the book. "It's a bit of a long story."

"We have time." It was true; the warship they were on wasn't due to reach its destination for another two days, the repairs having only been completed earlier that week.

"…I lived in a city with my mom and dad. In an apartment, with a couple of other people. It was cramped but nice, really. I went to school and had a few friends, un. Everything was good."

"What changed?"

"Your Army bombed my town until there was nothing left but rubble, un." Sasori flinched but said nothing. Such were the casualties of war. "It wasn't too bad at first. Lots of us were cheering when the school had to be closed down, un. But then I came home from the park one day…and found out that my home wasn't there anymore, un."

"Did your parents…?"

"I never found out, un. A little while after that, some slave traders picked up me and several of my friends while we were out playing in the streets."

"I thought slavery was illegal on Verden!" Sasori exclaimed, startled by the statement.

Deidara looked up at Sasori and gave him a bitter smile. "War changed a lot of things on my planet, un. When most of the armed forces are out fighting halfway across the galaxy, it makes it much easier to sell people to one another."

"I see. Please, go on," Sasori requested as he moved closer to the blond.

"I went through a lot of owners at first. Some wanted raw muscle for labor, some wanted…other things. And when I wouldn't give in and do what they demanded from me, I was sold back to slave traders, un."

"Finally, when I was…" Deidara paused to count out loud, before going on, "fifteen, I was sold to a man named Orochimaru. It was strange. He never wanted anything from me. He left me alone in a room that I had all to myself, playing with whatever toys he bought for me and reading any scraps I could find."

"Doesn't sound too bad," Sasori mused.

"It was **boring**, un!" Deidara cried out, making Sasori start and look at the blond in a confused manner. "Every day, I'd wake up to breakfast already on the table in the room, play, have lunch brought in, get a visit from my master in the afternoon, eat dinner, play, and go to bed, un! I was suffocating, danna!"

"But, you've been in here for almost three weeks," Sasori stated with a raised brow. "Why aren't you bothered here?"

"Because I'm not always here, un."

"What?"

Deidara quickly held his book up to Sasori's face, before the redhead had a stroke. "With this, I can go to far away deserts and mysterious caves and quiet villages-"

"Ok, I get it, you have a very vivid imagination," Sasori muttered as he settled himself once again. Well that little incident probably took a good decade off of his life.

"Vivid?"

"It means bright or active. Now, go on."

"Oh. Um, I finally got so bored with my life and tried to escape. My first dozen attempts were unsuccessful, and Orochimaru got mad at me. Really, really mad at me…" the blond's voice trailed off as he began to tremble ever so slightly from the memories.

Without thinking about it, Sasori reached out to stroke the Falk's hair in an effort to soothe the male. That display of affection seemed to do the trick, since Deidara stopped trembling and smiled up at Sasori a moment later. "Thanks danna."

Sasori smiled ever so slightly at the younger male. For an annoying and childish alien, the Falk could be rather lovable at times. "The end of your story?"

"Huh? Oh yeah! One day we captured a human ship and had it docked in the hangar of my master's ship. It was my ticket out of there, and I was so desperate to get away that I couldn't resist, un! I had to risk it."

"So that's how you got into the ship," Sasori murmured softly.

"Un. I was hoping to make it back to Verden and start over, but this worked out even better!" Deidara smiled at the statement, but gradually it gave way to a sad frown. "At least I ended up better off than some of the others my master brought aboard his ship, un."

"Hm?"

"A lot of Falks were trafficked aboard Orochimaru's ship, un. I remember this one time, a whole crew were brought in from a human vessel. It was during one of the rare times I was allowed out of my room, un. You probably don't care about that, though-"

"No! Go on, Deidara. Really, I want to know about this."

"Well, there were about twenty of them. One of them worked for Orochimaru; he was the second-favorite slave, right after me, un. Kabuto, I think…yes, that sounds correct. Well, Kabuto had sold out this group of traitors that was working on your guys' side in the war, un. It made Orochimaru very happy, to say the least."

"Do tell."

"They were stored in the cells near my room. I used to sneak out at night to see what a traitor looked like, un. They were all really quiet and wouldn't look at me. Well, except for this one guy."

"Who?"

"Never found out his name. But he had really long black hair, and black eyes too. He looked at me the first night I came to them and laughed. Only it wasn't a big laugh. It was like a…a…"

"Snicker?"

"Yes! He snickered at me, un. And when I asked what was so funny, he said it was funny that there were prisoners on both sides of the cell bars."

"Strange," the Akasuna muttered.

"I thought so too. But then we began talking, and I started to like him, un. He'd always talk about humans; how creative they were, how amazing they could be, everything. For the first time since I was a child, I could listen to tales of humans and not feel angry or sick, un. It was great." Deidara's cheeks turned red, and he nervously whispered, "he even told me that he loved one human, un."

"Did he tell you the person's name?"

"No. Only that they met during an Army operation, and that he missed that person very much, un. He'd even gotten a necklace as a gift-"

Sasori and Deidara were both incredibly startled when the door to their room burst open. Frozen by their terror, they could only stare in fear at Kisame, who now stood in their doorway. "General-" Sasori was abruptly cut off by the shark entering the room and slamming the door behind him.

With silent determination, the shark crossed the room to stop in front of Deidara. "You."

"Y-Yes?"

"That Falk you spoke with; what was his name?"

"I-I don't know, un."

No sooner had the words left Deidara's mouth than Kisame grabbed him by his shirt collar and slammed him against the metal wall, making both the blond and redhead cry out. "General, what are you doing?"

"You be quiet!" Kisame barked. "You're in enough trouble as it stands!" Command given, the shark refocused his attention on the blond. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes! He never mentioned any names, un!"

"…The necklace. Did he ever say anything about that?" When the Falk didn't answer, the shark tightened his grip. "Well?"

"It was made out of metal links…one of them…yeah, one had writing on it-"

"What did it say?"

"He told me…" Deidara screwed his eyes shut in concentration, hissing and clicking to himself as he racked his brain for that particular memory. Suddenly, the bright blue orbs snapped open, and you could practically see a light bulb go off over his head. "Angel…to my angel, un."

"…General?"

Kisame didn't make a sound. Rather, he loosed his grip and allowed Deidara to slide down onto the bed once more. Upon returning to the mattress, the Falk quickly scrambled into the safety of Sasori's arms. "Danna-"

"Sir, is there something you needed?" Sasori whispered softly, unable to look at either Kisame or Deidara as he cradled the blonde in his arms.

"I came here to ask you a few more questions about the crash," the General stated quietly. He slowly looked at Deidara from the corner of his eyes. "But I guess _he_ answers my questions." The blonde flinched at the words and buried his face in Sasori's shoulder.

"How long were you listening?"

"Long enough." Kisame took a deep breath before going on. "You. The alien."

"Deidara, un," the blonde snapped, unburying his face enough to make sure his replies wouldn't be muffled.

"Deidara, then. In case you're wondering, the name of that guy was Itachi."

Sasori stared at the shark for a long moment, completely taken aback. "But…wait, did you-"

"Yeah, the necklace was a gift from me." The shark chuckled softly at the memory. "You should've seen the look on his face when I gave it to him. Like he was getting the whole world wrapped up in a box."

"So, that's what you meant by fast friends."

"Deidara," Kisame went on, "what happened to him?"

"I don't know, un."

"How can you not know? You two-"

"He was sold the next day, un! All of them were! And that was over two years ago. He could be anywhere now, un."

Sasori and Deidara both watched the shark to see his reaction. For a moment, there was nothing. And then, he seemed to double over as he held his head in his hands. "I should have known…Itachi was too devoted to the cause to sell us out. Should've known he wouldn't pull something like that."

BANG

The trio was startled out of their musings as a loud explosion echoed through the ship, which was now shaking violently beneath their feet. "What now?" Sasori growled.


	8. Chapter 7

Kisame swore under his breath and rose from Sasori's mattress, a feat made all the more difficult due to the ship's now constant shaking. "You two stay here. If anything's wrong, I'll come back and get you. And Sasori?"

"Yes?"

"We'll talk about Deidara later."

"Right sir."

Deidara watched in complete silence as a rather tense Kisame exited the room, leaving behind an equally apprehensive Sasori. "Danna?" The redhead's attention fell on the blond and immediately noticed the worried look in Deidara's eyes.

Sasori wanted desperately to smile and tell the Falk it was going to be ok, but he knew better than to lie to Deidara. Their future was up in the air at the moment, and the soldier wasn't about to make any promises that couldn't be kept.

A particularly violent jerk sent the duo crashing against the side wall of the room, and another shake flung them into the opposite metal barrier. "Danna, what's happening?"

"As soon as I find out, you'll be the first to know," Sasori promised the blonde. Suddenly, the lights flickered out in the room, plunging the battered and bruised duo into complete darkness.

"…"

"…Danna?"

"Yes?"

"I think we're under attack, un."

"No kidding."

"No, I'm dead serious!"

"…Deidara, remind me to explain to you what an expression is later."

"Un?"

Before the conversation could go on, Kisame tore open the door to Sasori and Deidara's room, managing to illuminate the whole chamber with an Army-grade flashlight. "The ship's being abandoned," he curtly informed the two. "Grab whatever you can't live without and head towards the nearest escape pod."

"Why is this ship always getting attacked?" Sasori grumbled as he helped Deidara to his feet.

"Turns out we had a turncoat working the radio," Kisame replied in a gruff tone. "I can only image what the Falks were paying him for his help."

"What's going to happen to him, un?" Deidara couldn't help but ask.

At that, Kisame let out a chuckle and shook his head. "Unfortunately for the guy, Hidan got to him before I could stop him. Crazy zealot…long story short, we're filing him as killed in action." His message given, the shark finally departed from their room, but not before reminding them to hurry up. "And disguise Deidara!"

Now Sasori was a puppet maker, not a supplier of clothing or costumes. As such, he really didn't have many spare clothes with which to outfit Deidara. However, if the others saw Deidara and discovered he was a Falk, that would be the end of the blond, and probably Sasori as well. Something had to be done.

That something turned out to be rifling through Sasori's bag for disguise material even as the emergency alarms went off and a monotone computer voice ordered the soldiers to evacuate to the nearest escape pod. Deidara and Sasori were eventually able to find a pair of sunglasses and an army helmet to hide the blond's eyes and ears. "Now just keep quiet and go along with whatever I tell you. Understand, Deidara?"

"Yes Sasori danna." Seeing that the blonde was ready to go, Sasori grabbed his bag and waited for Deidara to snatch up his book, before the duo took off down the hall, their way illuminated by Sasori's own flashlight.

The Akasuna was more than a bit relieved to see that there were still dozens of men and women evacuating the ship when he and Deidara abandoned their chambers. It meant that there were probably still a number of escape vessels left onboard, so he and the Falk weren't completely doomed.

The puppeteer's suspicions proved to be true; it didn't take long for Deidara to locate a pod that still had enough room for the two of them. Specifically Sasori, if you wanted the truth. "Hey fire-crotch!" Hidan yelled from inside the vessel. He appeared to be keeping other soldiers at bay, either with his words or fists. "About time you got here! Tobi was starting to think you'd never show up, damnit!"

The masked human poked his head out the doorway upon hearing his name, and gave a cry of delight when he saw the redhead. "Sasori, you're here! Wait, who's the blond with Sasori?"

"I believe you're referring to Deidara," Kisame stated from behind Tobi. _So, he was here too?_ "Deidara's a new recruit, so to speak."

"Enough with the introductions, get in here already!" Before Sasori even had the chance to protest, Hidan had yanked both Deidara and himself into the escape pod and slammed the door shut behind them, making certain to quickly lock the vessel's only exit tightly.

As Sasori expected, the pod was rather small and cramped. It had been outfitted with somewhat weak orange and yellow lights above their head, as well as seats arranged in a circle and designed with full-body harnesses to keep the occupants secured during their trip through space. Aside from Kisame, Tobi, and Hidan, the pod only contained a handful of soldiers, none of which Sasori recognized. Not surprising, really; these things were only built to hold about ten persons at a time, twelve if it was really needed. "General, where are we going?" Sasori inquired.

The blue-skinned man was seated by the pod's control panel and rapidly entering coordinates by hand. "Into space. I've located another ship for backup, but it'll be a few hours before they get here. Our best chance is to evacuate now and try to dodge our attackers for as long as we can-" The rest of the general's words were cut off by the ship giving a violent shake, followed by the distinctive screech of metal being torn apart.

"What the hell was that?" Hidan screamed into the radio.

While waiting for a reply, Sasori briefly wondered who in their right mind had put the foul-mouthed male in charge of radio communications, but dismissed the thought when devastating news came in. "The hull's been breached!" a voice screamed from the other end of the communicator. "We've got about three minutes before this whole place is blown sky high!"

"Jashin dammit," Hidan swore. Returning his attention to the soldiers surrounding him, he looked to Kisame. "Are we ever gonna move?"

"The longer we stay here, the less fuel we'll use, and the better our chances of escape," Kisame reasoned.

"There's not gonna be anything left to save in 60 seconds, dumba-sir," Hidan corrected, after deciding he didn't want to be court marshaled for swearing at his commanding officer.

"Deidara?" Tobi asked.

"Y-yes?"

"Why does Deidara have sunglasses on?"

"I recently had laser eye surgery, un," Deidara flawlessly lied.

"Why the hat?"

"Um…I want to keep my brain safe?"

"Bullshit," Hidan stated. "What are you really hiding under there, blondie?"

"Danna," Deidara whimpered, all but begging for salvation from his current predicament.

Surprisingly, it was not Sasori but Kisame that provided Deidara with an escape route. "We're ready to go," the general announced.

"Fucking finally."

"Listen, we don't have any weapons on this thing," Kisame warned. "The only way we're going to get out of this alive is through careful dodging and constant maneuvering. No bitching or rowdiness while I'm driving; clear?"

"Tch, chill mom," Hidan shot back. "We've got a lucky charm here, remember?" With a smirk, the zealot reached over and ruffled Tobi's hair, causing the boy to cry out and attempt to bat away the offending hand.

Without waiting for a better answer, Kisame hit the throttle, making them shoot out of the emergency escape tunnel and into the void of space.

Immediately the pilot gunned the engine, trying to get as far away from the doomed ship as possible before it blew. Sasori couldn't help but peer out through one of the ship's circular windows and take a last look at the vessel he'd called home for such a short while.

The Akatsuki had been virtually torn to pieces by the Falks' attack. Large chunks of the ship were floating in space, and here and there Sasori could see the scattered remains of furnishings from within the vessel. Floating around the warship like vultures over a fresh carcass were the enemy's battle cruisers, which even now were blasting away at the dying ship. It was enough to make the Akasuna sick.

And then the Akatsuki exploded, hurling all the nearby escape pods (including the one Deidara and Sasori occupied) through the void of space at an extremely rapid pace, which did in fact made the puppet master, Falk, and Tobi lose their lunch on the floor.

"Eww," Hidan complained before tucking his legs up to his chest.

"Shut it Hidan," Kisame ordered. "We've got company."

Falks were not the kind of warriors that would stop for a moment and cheer at the destruction of an enemy war vessel. If any cheering was to be done, it would only occur after they'd destroyed any and all humans in the surrounding area. Already they were on the move, eager to chase down and eradicate any Army persons they could locate.

If Sasori hadn't already thrown up, he would have puked from all the evasive maneuvers Kisame utilized in his attempt to keep the lowly escape pod from being blown to kingdom come. All around them human vessels were exploding in short, deadly bursts, and on more than one occasion the general had to avoid flying wreckage from an escape pod as well as an enemy laser blast.

It soon became apparent that the group wasn't going to last longer than a few minutes, never mind the hours it would take for backup to arrive. "Wish I'd stolen a ship, damnit," Hidan complained from his seat. "At least then I could go down fighting instead of running like a Jashin-damned coward."

"Doubt it would have made much difference," Kisame growled from his post. "Now make yourself useful and see if there's anyone left on the line."

"Tch, don't have to be so bitchy about it," Hidan grumbled before returning to the duty he'd been neglecting for almost the entire flight. "Static…static…hey-! Wait, no, that's just static."

"I thought you were supposed to be a good luck charm," Sasori growled at Tobi.

"Don't blame Tobi for this!" the innocent male cried out. "Besides, Sasori should know that everyone's luck runs out at some point."

"Well yours picked a Jashin-damned _wonderful_ time to-hey, I've got someone!"

All attention (save for Kisame's) immediately fell to the Jashinist. "Who is it, un?"

"Dunno. They're yelling in gibberish…vive la résistance? What kind of-"

"It's French, un," Deidara interrupted.

"Well that's fucking great. Anyone here speak French?"

Rather than wasting time answering Hidan, Deidara chose instead to rip away the communicator from Hidan and speak into it. "Je ne parle pas français."

There was a moment of silence on the line; on one end, the strangers may have been looking for a translator, while the humans were in shock from hearing the foreign sentence pass the blond's lips. And then, a voice with a heavy French accent spoke. "We are ze resistance! Come wiz us if you want to live!"

"Where, un?"

"Look up!" The command was obeyed just in time to see an old, battered looking tanker descend upon them. The ship was huge; nearly as big as the Akatsuki had been, only with fewer weapons and a thicker exterior. More importantly though was the fact that the top and bottom doors on the front of the hull were opened wide like a great mouth, and the tanker appeared to be aiming right at the escape craft. Kisame barely had time to slow the pod down enough to avoid crashing into the unidentified spaceship's doorframe as it reached them and 'swallowed' the escapees whole. Immediately the doors slammed shut, plunging the group into a world of black.

It appeared that the fleeing soldiers were now safe from the attacking Falks. And as they sat there in the dark, still floating in their ship while the now-muffled sounds of battle continued from outside the tanker, Tobi couldn't help but laugh. "Looks like Tobi's luck hasn't run out yet."


	9. Chapter 8

The refugees' stay in the darkness did not last for long. Almost immediately after Tobi had spoken, several rows of overhead lights flickered on, illuminating the chamber they were now within in a soft, yellow light.

None of them had very much time to take in their surroundings, though, because almost immediately after the lights came on, someone decided that it would also be a smart move to activate the artificial gravity that up until this point had been absent. And while the Akatsuki escapees were very grateful to have gravity restored, they probably would have enjoyed it more if the escape pod hadn't been floating in midair twenty-five feet above the ground.

It was, in the words of many hangmen, a short drop with a quick stop.

The immediate effects of the crash included bumps, bruises, and slight concussions for two of the crew on board. None of this mattered to Sasori, because in the crash landing Deidara's hat and glasses had come off, exposing two bright blue hawk eyes and a pair of pointed ears for all to see.

There was a momentary shock as everyone stared at the blonde. Not surprisingly, it was Hidan who broke the seemingly endless trance into which the group had fallen. "Holy shit, he's a Falk!"

"Sasori danna," the blonde whispered softly. His wide, frightened eyes darted to the puppeteer, unsure of what to do now that their secret had been revealed so suddenly. Tragically for them both, the Akasuna had also not foreseen such a rapid exposure of the blond's true identity, and was unable to formulate a suitable cover-up on the spot.

Their panic was soon noticed by Hidan, and the Jashinist was quick to draw his own conclusions. Giving Sasori an accusing glare, the masochist began yelling. "'Danna'? You bastard, you're working for the Falks, aren't you?"

"NO!" Deidara exclaimed. "Danna's just-"

"You shut up!"

"Don't you dare talk to him like that!" Sasori ordered.

"Why shouldn't I? The bastard's a Jashin-damned spy!"

"No he isn't! He's just another kid whose life's been ruined by this war."

"So what, you thought you'd take him in, dumbass? Hmm? Trying to get some good karma so you'll be all set when they send you on a fucking bombing mission?"

"Both of you be quiet," Kisame commanded in an irate tone. "In the last hour, I've found out that one of my newest and most promising soldiers is harboring someone that could be an enemy agent, I've lost my ship, I'm trapped in a crappy little escape pod that smells like vomit and am currently suspended by a safety harness from the ceiling while within the bowels of a ship run by Kami knows who. The **last** thing I need right now is for you two to start bickering. So SHUT UP!"

"Yes sir," the duo murmured in unison. The fighting could wait until their situation improved a bit.

It appeared that fate had finally decided to smile upon the group, as their ship was suddenly turned upright by an unseen force. Sasori heard a few clicks and hisses, interrupted when their door was suddenly unhinged and dropped to the rusted steel floor, presumably by whomever had sat them up moments earlier. And then, a head poked itself into the vessel.

The person was a female; short brown hair and caramel colored hawk eyes, slight build, and pointed ears adorned her visible parts. She appeared to be wearing a dress of some sorts that matched her red beret, but for the most part kept her body hidden by the wall of the ship.

The Falk peered around at the survivors in the ship, as if to assess whether this batch was alive or dead. As she looked about her nose wrinkled, and she clicked under her breath softly while recoiling ever so slightly. "Deidara, what's she saying?"

"Just that the pod smells like barf, un," the blonde explained. Turning his attention from Sasori to the female, he let out a soft hiss under his breath and smiled at the Falk.

To no one's surprise, the girl was surprised to find one of her own kind amidst the human refugees, as made apparent by the widening of her eyes and slight flinch. Nevertheless, she soon recomposed herself and began conversing with Deidara casually, as if the two had nothing better to do but shoot the breeze while the others looked on in confusion.

Finally, after a good three or four minutes of their constant chatter, Sasori decided it was necessary to interrupt them with a slight cough. "Erm, Deidara…exactly what is going on here?"

The blond Falk looked to the Akasuna and smiled widely. "We've been saved by the Verden Underground Movement, un."

"VUM?" Hidan asked. "What kind of name-"

"They're taking us back to their headquarters, un," the Falk went on, completely ignoring the rather rude Jashinist by now. "The leader is hoping they can garner support from your Army by showing that not all Falks support this war."

"So, we were rescued as a show of goodwill?" Kisame inquired with a bitter smirk.

"Yes, un."

"Well, are we allowed to get out of the pod? It's really starting to stink in here."

A quick hiss and a few clicks later, Deidara had confirmed that the group had permission to remove themselves from the vessel. This didn't necessarily mean that everyone was willing to exit the craft, however. "The hell I'm setting foot out of here," Hidan protested from his seat.

"Hidan, you can't stay on here," Sasori tried to reason as he unstrapped himself, before assisting Deidara in removing the harness around him.

"You shut up, traitor. I don't trust that blond as far as I can throw his Falk ass, damnit. For all we know, he could be selling us out right now."

"Fine. Stay in the barfy ship. I'm getting out," Sasori declared with an air of finality. Not looking back at the stubborn zealot for even a moment, he grabbed Deidara's arm and hauled the duo out of the ship.

Almost immediately they were pounced on by another Falk.

Yet another female, this solider dressed in camo capris and a solid green tank top. Around her waist was a thick, black utility belt and a hunting knife, easily within her reach should the need arise to use them. A red beret sat atop her head, nicely complimenting her short blue hair and eyes. All in all, the woman looked like she meant business. "You are ze refugees?"

It was the voice with a French accent that they'd heard on the communicator, and who had warned them about the approaching tanker. "Yes-" Sasori began.

"Sir, I am ze leader of zis section of ze movement," the woman stated with a salute. "Chief Konan is my title, and I am at your service for ze duration of your stay."

"Thank you," Sasori replied with a surprised tone and a raised brow. Collecting himself a moment later, he cleared his throat and motioned to the blue-skinned man behind him, who had just now been able to exit the pod. "This is my commander, General Hoshigaki-"

"Please, introductions later," the woman pled. "We are still looking for more survivors, and if we don't leave zis room immediately, we will be sucked out into space." The woman beckoned the group to follow her across the room, presumably to an exit from the chamber.

"Hey, wait a minute!"

The humans and Falks turned to see an angry-frightened Hidan standing in the escape pod's doorway, looking at them with confusion on his face. "What about me, damnit?"

Konan smirked at the silver-haired male. "No one is forcing you to come, monsieur. If you wish to stay and be, 'ow you say, thrown into the vacuum of space, we won't stop you." You could see Hidan's expression change from slight bewilderment to full-blown terror in a heart beat. Before you could say Jashin damnit, the male was out of the pod and with the rest of his group.

Konan made quick work of leading them across the large, vacant chamber to the room's only exit. Sasori was a bit surprised by the door; unlike most modern ships, where all you had to do was push a button and the doors would slide away into the wall, this tanker's door had to be manually opened by twisting an oversized, rusted wheel in the center, and then swung back into the hallway. How old was this ship?

"Geez, this thing's older than me," Hidan stated as they entered the corridor and waited for Konan to seal off the chamber. The hall was narrow and lined with steel doors, most of which were closed. Like the other room, this area was illuminated by yellow light bulbs, more than a few of which were burned out.

"It is old, monsieur loud-mouth, but it gets ze job done," the chief informed him. "Now zen. We 'ave many rooms for you to stay in while we return to headquarters. My assistants will be more zan 'appy to-PEIN!"

A man with multiple piercings, pale skin, and messy orange hair poking out from beneath his beret had just exited a nearby room and froze at the name. Nervously, he turned his head towards Konan and clicked something in reply.

Instantly the female was upon him, clicking, hissing, and clawing at the poor soul that was now desperately trying to shield himself from the attack and click back at her. "All right, I'll bite," Kisame said. "What's gotten into her?"

"Apparently Pein activated the gravity too quickly and we fell because of that, un," Deidara translated. "She thinks it made a bad impression."

"Exactly what is she saying, though?" Sasori pressed.

"Something about his mother and a curling iron…you don't want to know the rest, un."

With a firm shove back into what had been revealed to be a control room, Konan abandoned Pein and spun around to look at her guests again, smiling nervously at the soldiers. "Sorry about zat. Pein is, erm…well, a pain at times. Now, as I was saying, ze ozer resistance members will be more zan 'appy to find you people rooms to stay in. But I must be going now. Au revoir!" With a wave, the commander was off to fulfill her other duties, leaving the refugees in the hands of a few Falks.

As they walked down the hall, Sasori chanced asking Deidara a question, even though he was fairly certain he knew what the answer would be. "Deidara, what did they mean, return to headquarters?"

"What do you think they meant, danna?" Deidara asked with a carefree smile. "We're going to Verden, un!"


	10. Chapter 9

Good gravy, as I'm uploading this here, it becomes so painfully obvious that this was put on hold for a year, just from how much the writing shifts from chapter to chapter...anyway, I'm still updating regularly over on my dA account; you guys are welcome to go there if you can't wait for an update here.

* * *

><p>Verden. They, trained members of the human Army, were heading for Verden within the confines of a Falkian resistance ship, and Kami knows when they'd be able to get word of their survival back to Earth, never mind actually returning home. To top it off, Sasori was still at risk to lose his life (his military career was already shot, that much was certain) for harboring a fugitive, and was only still a free man at this point because his home base, the Akatsuki battle cruiser, had been blown to smithereens with hundreds of fellow soldiers still on board. It was almost more than Sasori could take, and at the moment, all the redhead wanted was a chance to lie down and sleep for a long, loooong time.<p>

Deidara, on the other hand, was ecstatic about the most recent turn of events. He was back in the company of his fellow Falks, and could now look forward to returning home on the side of peace fighters. Currently, the blond was conferencing with Konan about what should be down with their human captives. It was true, the blue-haired woman had defined the human soldiers as allies, but there was little doubt in Sasori's mind that if any of them made a wrong move, the Falks would quickly turn against them and lock away the Army members without a second thought. Most of the Falks aboard the ship had lost either friends or family to the war, and although Konan and Pein seemed to have accepted the refugees, there was still plenty of tension floating through the ship.

Sasori sighed and flopped down on his cot, staring at the metal ceiling like it was the most interesting sight in the world. He'd been given a private room, as had all the other survivors, and while this had the advantage of privacy for the soldiers, it led to the Akasuna being bored out of his mind. At least if the fighters had been housed together they would have each other's company to keep themselves entertained. But now, Sasori was simply lounging about in his room and waiting for something to happen.

As if on cue, a rapping noise was heard at his door just then. Curious, Sasori rose from his seat on the mattress and opened the door, peaking out slightly from the crack to see who could be visiting him. Deidara would have just burst in, so the blond was out. He was pretty sure Hidan still wasn't on speaking terms with him, and Kami only knows where Tobi had disappeared to. Who was left, then?

Curiosity immediately gave way to shock at the sight of General Kisame, leaning against the doorframe with a haggard look on his face. "Sir-"

"It's Kisame, Sasori. Just Kisame. Mind letting me in?"

Somewhat wary at the lack of formality, the Akasuna stepped back and opened the door wider, allowing the shark to step inside. "I don't suppose Deidara's in here, is he?" Kisame absentmindedly asked, as though the blond's location really wasn't much of a concern for him at the moment.

Sasori shook his head while shutting the door behind them. "He's talking with Konan about what to do, once we get to Verden." Kisame nodded his head slightly and sat at the foot of Sasori's bed, hunched forward with his arms in his lap. "Sir?"

"What did I just tell you?"

"Kisame then." The redhead took a seat beside the general and glanced to his feet, not willing to look Kisame in the eye at this point. The puppeteer was really hoping Kisame wasn't about to deliver his punishment for harboring Deidara; he'd like to live a bit longer, at least until he could get back home and tell his grandmother goodbye. "Is there a reason you came here?"

There was a long pause between the two, the tension in the room escalating to a nearly unbearable level. The silence as Kisame tried to think of an answer and Sasori waiting for it was nearly enough to drive the redhead over the edge. Just as he was about to retract his inquiry, though, the shark finally opened his mouth to speak. "I thought he gave us away." Kisame sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I honestly believed that Itachi turned traitor against us."

"You couldn't have known that someone else was smart enough to break our codes-"

"But I should have suspected it!" Sasori jumped at the sudden increase in volume of Kisame's voice. The blue-skinned man looked furious, but at what Sasori could only venture a guess. "Damn it, he was nothing but loyal and hard-working the whole time he was with us! There weren't any signs of him sneaking around behind our backs, and if anything I should have been more worried about spies on the human side than among the Falks!"

"Hindsight is 20-20," Sasori weakly offered as a consolation. He knew the words wouldn't help (since when can mere words halt something as powerful as self-loathing?), but felt that it was his duty as the shark's comrade to at least make an attempt at some form of comfort.

"I bought into what my superiors said," Kisame went on, oblivious to Sasori's words. "Even when Zetsu tried to dissuade me from thinking about Falks like that, I still believed every word they told me."

"General Zetsu said that?"

The shark nodded slightly. "He may be in charge of the whole army, Sasori, but that doesn't mean he's a blood-thirsty killer like some of the grunts you see in the field. Truth is, he just wants the war to be over so he can bring us all home, safe and sound. The past couple of years, he's even started thinking about helping to rebuild the parts of Verden most heavily damaged by us."

Sasori was silent at this, needing some time for the words to sink in. He'd always pictured the notorious, reclusive general to be about as gung-ho on the battlefield as Hidan, given how many bombing and raiding missions the humans were sent on. Could it be that all those campaigns were little more than General Sherman's scorched earth policy? Cause significant destruction to a concentrated area, as opposed to evenly spread harm all over Verden? "You know, I never did thank Itachi for all he did."

"I think the necklace took care of that," Sasori muttered before he could stop himself. Upon realizing what he'd said, though, the Akasuna had the decency to blush and clap his hand over his mouth. Informal chat or not, that last comment had been waaaay out of line.

"You know that gift wasn't a thank you present," Kisame shot back, although there was a distinct lack of anger in his voice. If anything, the blue-skinned general just sounded exhausted. "Actually, getting him a present seems stupid now. Most Falks don't place a lot of emotional value in gifts they get, unless they're practical. Guess Itachi was an exception."

"I'm not too sure about that," Sasori whispered, more to himself than Kisame. Deidara had been ecstatic about getting a book and dictionary, to be sure, but that could be written off as the blond wishing to better his English, and thus rendered the items practical. However, the Falk had also formed some sort of attachment to Sasori's little puppet (the only one to survive the Akatsuki's explosion, he mentally added), which had about as much real-world practicality as square wheels. The redhead frowned; he was beginning to wonder exactly how much the Army knew about the people they were trying to destroy.

Pulling away from his musings before they could get any darker, the puppet master looked to Kisame and took a deep breath. There was something he needed to ask the shark, and considering the last remark he'd made, there probably wasn't a whole much that was off-limits now. "Kisame, I appreciate you coming to vent to me, but I can't help but think you need something else." Not the simplest way of phrasing it, but a bit of formality was probably a good idea when dealing with a superior officer.

Kisame chuckled and nodded. "Your file didn't lie when it said you were pretty sharp. I actually do need a favor from you."

"What kind of favor?" the redhead asked warily. Sasori realized that he was in no position to argue with any orders that his general gave to him now, especially considering the Deidara fiasco, but that didn't mean he was going to blindly leap into certain doom.

"The kind that will save you from getting court-martialed and that Falk of yours from being executed." Now he had Sasori's attention. "The alien…Deidara, right?"

"Yes."

"I need him to talk Konan into keeping me with the resistance when we get to Verden, instead of sending me back home with the rest of you."

Sasori was shocked. The general, one of the most powerful and respected leader's among the human commanders, was requesting to all but be marooned in enemy territory, with no grasp of the people's customs, language, or any knowledge other than what was filled out in military reports, which Sasori was beginning to suspect had been slightly embellished, at best. "That's suicide!"

"I need to find Itachi. If anything's happened to him over these last couple of years, it's entirely my fault. I should have sent out a search party to retrieve them as soon as their ship was captured."

"Kisame-"

"They were labeled as allies, Sasori!" Kisame all but shouted, making the Akasuna jump in his seat. He'd never even heard of General Kisame losing his temper, never mind bearing witness to the event itself. To see the normally cheerful and composed commander like this, with his hands curled tightly into fists, lips drawn back in a snarl that exposed rows of pearly, sharp teeth, and his entirely body so tense that one would think it was about to snap…it was terrifying, to say the least. "If it had been some of our own men that were captured, you can bet I would have gone after them in a heartbeat. But, when I heard what had happened…how they thought Itachi was the one to give us away…I just…I couldn't…" Kisame sighed and shook his head. "Why'd you have to bring that kid back to the ship, Sasori? It would've made my life so much easier if I could just feel heart-broken and betrayed for the rest of eternity."

Sasori looked away from his general and focused instead on the ceiling. He leaned back against the wall and twiddled his thumbs, not entirely sure what the correct response to the shark's angst would be. However, even if his mind couldn't come up with a proper reply, his tongue was more than willing to act on its own accord. "That's pathetic. You should be happy that I found Deidara."

Kisame shot his underling an incredulous look. "How? How should any of what's happened within the last 24 hours bring me even the slightest bit of joy?"

Deciding that Sasori hadn't dug his grave quite deep enough, the treacherous tongue kept going. "You still love Itachi, that's pretty obvious. Well now you know that he didn't betray you. He was always loyal to you, Kisame. That's what I mean when I said you should be happy. And now that you know what really happened, all you have to do is find him and apologize."

The shark blinked once, twice, then cupped his hand over his eyes and began laughing. "Well when you put it that way…"

"I'll have Deidara talk to Konan, on one condition."

"You're in a position to be negotiating?"

"Let Deidara and I stay behind with you. Not all Falks are going to share the same human sentiments as the Verden Underground Movement. You need at least one human here as back-up, and I'm in no hurry to get back home." Sasori couldn't pinpoint exactly what was making him want to stay, although desiring to find out the truth about Falks couldn't have been a small part of the explanation. And then there was the fact that Deidara was so eager to see his home world again… "Besides, Deidara seems to have a better grasp of the English language than any of the Falks on this ship, and the last thing we need is trouble caused by a mistranslation."

Kisame seemed reluctant to accept Sasori's terms, but after a while was able to see the logic behind the Akasuna's suggestion and reluctantly conceded to the redhead's demand. "Fine. But when I start groveling for forgiveness, you two need to make yourself scarce. You do that, and I'll make sure the official report lists Deidara as an ally we found on Verden _after_being rescued by VUM."

"Deal." Sasori extended his hand and shook Kisame's, overwhelming relief flooding through his system at the agreement. Deidara and he were safe, at least for now.

The pact was made not a moment too soon, for the next instant found the door to Sasori's room flung wide, and Deidara rushing inside. "Danna, Konan says-" the Falk paused in mid-exclamation, eyes widening in fright at the sight of Kisame. The memory of being flung against the wall was still fresh in his mind, and Deidara was in no hurry to invoke the general's wrath again. "Sasori danna, what's going on, un?"

"Nothing much. But Deidara, we need your help with something."


	11. Chapter 10

Deidara was skeptical about making Kisame's request. The VUM no doubt intended to strengthen their ties with the humans by returning the soldiers to their own kind, and having a general in the mix wasn't just icing on the cake, it was the whole cake itself. Without being able to return Kisame, the Falks would get a lot less praise and support than they wanted and needed to receive.

Konan seemed to share this sentiment and outright refused, at first. Kisame and Sasori had the extreme pleasure of watching two full grown Falks click and hiss at each other with animalistic ferocity inside what appeared to be a conference room of some sort, not but ten feet away from the negotiations. The two aliens were displaying a far more primal side of the Falkian race than the two humans were used to seeing, and on more than one occasion Kisame had to forcibly drag Sasori back down into his seat because the Akasuna was certain that Konan was going to lunge across the table and claw his poor blond friend to pieces.

Deidara, for his part, refused to back down in the face of someone who not only had the capability to directly murder him about a dozen different ways, but could summon other members of the Verden Underground Movement at any time and do the job for her. Sasori was reminded of hearing Deidara's stories about escaping his most recent master and injuring the others, and wondered for the first time if, instead of being a reckless child with absolutely no foresight whatsoever, Deidara was simply a cunning teenager with more courage than Sasori could ever hope to possess.

The screaming match went on for a good half hour before Konan finally hissed out something at the blond and Deidara nodded. The female made a few clicks that sounded particularly bitter, even to Sasori's untrained ear, straightened her beret, and stormed out of the room. Once she was gone, the blond practically collapsed into his chair and let out a long, tired sigh. "I am majorly owed for this, un."

"It's, 'you owe me big', kid," Kisame corrected with no hint of reproach in his voice. If anything, the shark was barely able to keep the anxiety perforating every inch of his being from leaking out into his speech. "Is it a deal?"

"Not quite. Konan still wants to do the trade with you, so we compromised, un."

"Meaning what?" Sasori pressed.

"You get to stay here, but the other humans have to as well."

"Not happening," Kisame immediately stated. "This is my battle, not theirs. I refuse to drag any soldiers into this."

"Then kiss Itachi farewell, un," Deidara nonchalantly replied. "When the trade happens, it's going to be with you humans in a group set. Either everyone stays, or everyone goes. You wish to argue, talk to Konan yourself."

-mm-

Later that day, Kisame gathered the other surviving humans together in his room, in order to speak about their current situation. The bedroom used by the general was only slightly bigger than the other cabins on board; needless to say, the remaining eight soldiers and one Falk were crammed in like sardines. Deidara and Sasori had chosen to sit in the back of the room, hidden behind the others in order to keep anti-Falk comments to a minimum. No one would be able to look at Deidara without completely turning around in their seats, and as the saying goes, out of sight, out of mind.

Kisame was seated on the edge of his mattress, staring down at the nine soldiers seated on the ground before him. It would have been comical, really, had not the subject of their discussion been so grave. Kisame was quite certain that the fighters wouldn't take his news and request very well. Understanding this, he attempted to paint the best picture he could; he began by explaining how valuable the intel group had been, prior to their disappearance, the traitor in the midst that had been successfully identified while the others remained innocent, the desire to linger on Verden in hopes of retrieving their fallen comrades, and finally the fact that they were indebted to the VUM, who could no doubt use the help provided by retrieving the missing allies.

Kisame's assumption was correct. Opinions on the matter ranged from discontent coupled by acceptance (Tobi), to outright indignation and refusal (Hidan). "There's no way in hell I'm gonna stick my neck out for some missing Falks!"

"Hidan, we owe those people," Kisame bluntly informed him. It was hard to keep his temper in check with Hidan talking in such a manner about their former friends, particularly Itachi, but the shark knew that if his true motives were brought to light at this point, all would be a lost cause. "They served us continually for years, even at the risk of imprisonment and retribution from their own people, and now that we have a chance to help them, you're simply going to turn your back on them?"

"How the hell do we even know that that's what really happened? It's that little Falk bitch's word against a report filed by a dozen soldiers!" Deidara seemed to shrink at Hidan's comment, as though he'd like nothing more than to sink into the floor and vanish from the room. Sasori kept his temper in check, albeit his hands curled themselves into fists without him realizing it.

"A report that clearly stated none of the Falks displayed any signs of treachery or disloyalty, with the exception of a few footnotes about Kabuto, the betrayer."

"That doesn't prove anything! Jashin damnit, think about what you're saying!"

"I am, and I wish you would too. All I'm suggesting is that we postpone our return home for a little longer, so that we may right a wrong that was committed by us. If this were a human group of allies, you wouldn't be hesitating at all, Hidan. We're supposed to be working for peace, and allowing anti-Falk sentiments to poison our every action is going to do nothing more than hinder progress." That shut Hidan up.

Kisame chose to take a vote on what their final course of action would be, excluding himself, Sasori, and Deidara. Of the remaining seven, five (including Tobi) voted to stay, Hidan voted to go home, and the remaining soldier abstained. "Then it's settled. We'll be heading back to Verden and make plans with the Verden Underground Movement to rescue our allies. Once that's all said and done, we can get back home."

-mm-

"You are sure zis is ze course of action zat you shall be taking?" Konan inquired. After the meeting, Kisame had gone to meet with the Falkian leader and explain to her the current plan of action for himself and the other humans. At the moment, the duo was standing in a giant strategy room. Various maps of Verden's continents were hanging on the walls, and a large 6 x 10 map of the entire planet covered the table housed in the center of the room. A few Falkian strategists were running back and forth between the maps and two other resistance members who were sending and receiving transmissions on an old-fashioned radio communicator. The maps were covered in notes that had been stuck over various cities, and some areas were completely crossed out. The general felt something tighten in his chest as the short brunette that had greeted them earlier crossed the room and scribbled through a village, writing something above the mark in a language Kisame couldn't read. The shark had the distinct feeling his army had recently bombed the daylights out of that poor settlement.

"Well, monsieur fishy?"

Kisame was beginning to dislike the woman's habit of bestowing nicknames on her human captives. "Yes. We need to rescue our comrades before going home. To be honest, I don't think my conscious could even let me leave before I fix this mistake."

"Zat is all very well and good, monsieur, but it does not, 'ow you say, pay ze bills. If we are to 'elp you, ze first zing we must do is locate zese intelligence officers. If zis cannot be done, ze rescue shall be a lost cause."

"Tell me what I can do to help."

"Short, sweet, and to ze point." Konan smirked at her companion. "Alzough you claim to be 'uman, zere is somezing distinctly Falkian about you. First, we need ze names and descriptions of everyone associated with ze project. Once zis is done, we shall send out messages to all branches of VUM and see if zey have any information. We have several allies of ze movement working in the judicial branch, which may be of some 'elp to us. After we 'ave gazered sufficient information, we shall move forward."

"Impressive," Kisame admitted.

"Merci."

-mm-

"Danna?"

"Hm?"

Deidara was sitting at the foot of Sasori's bed, quietly flipping through the pages of his only book. The Akasuna, meanwhile, was contently stretched out across his mattress, attempting to get some sleep before all hell broke loose. He wasn't sure how long it would be before they discovered some news regarding Itachi or the others, but he was certain that once Kisame heard something, they were going to take off and attempt to retrieve their allies. Best sleep now before they got to Verden. The redhead had almost been asleep, when Deidara spoke.

The blond kept his attention on his book, reading silently to himself. "I'm not going to betray you, you know."

Sasori blinked his eyes in surprise. Where did that come from? "I never said you were going to, Deidara."

"I know, un. But just the same, I'm letting you know that I won't turn out like Kabuto," he informed the puppet master, speaking in a very matter-of-fact tone. "You rescued me and took care of me, even when it was risky for you. I won't forget that, ever. Promise, un."

Sasori gave the words a few moments to sink in before answering. "I'll do the same. It's kinda my job as your danna, in a way."

At this, Deidara finally looked away from his book and grinned down at the drowsy redhead. "Good. Then we'll be loyal to each other forever, Sasori danna."


	12. Chapter 11

Ok, a slight note before this chapter, because Konan does a lot of talking. For the French accent, I have the "th" sound replaced with "z", and the "h" sound at the beginning of a word is dropped. So, "Ze 'at is red" = "The hat is red". All clear? Good. Enjoy.

* * *

><p>A knock on the door woke Sasori from his slumber. The redhead wasn't sure how long he'd been out, but it certainly felt like he could have done with a few more hours of rest before this intrusion on his dreamland arrived. He sat up in bed, yawning and looking around the room to find it empty of Deidara. Apparently the blond had gone off to his own room sometime after Sasori had fallen asleep, presumably so his reading light wouldn't bother the Akasuna. "Monsieur Sasori," Konan's voice whispered, followed by another knock.<p>

The sound of the VUM leader's voice took Sasori by surprise. What could she possibly want with him at this hour?

Curiosity winning out against nervous hesitation, Sasori arose from his bed and crossed the room to open the door. "Konan, do you have any idea what time it is?" he mumbled sleepily, eyes blinking his comrade into focus.

"Ze time is completely irreverent to the situation, I assure you. Please, you must come wiz me immediately. It is of the upwards importance."

Sasori decided against correcting Konan's botching of the English language, mainly because of her appearance. The Falk's eyes had bags hanging under them, and her lips were drawn into a tight line. Her beret was barely able to conceal the blue hair that now appeared incredibly messy, and after a moment of thinking, Sasori realized she'd been wearing the same outfit for a few days now. Even her pointed ears appeared to be drooping, but that could just be the puppeteer's sleep-deprived eyes playing tricks on him. "What is it?"

"Not 'ere, monsieur Sasori! Zis meeting must be done in ze most private of places. Follow me."

Sasori briefly wondered why Konan hadn't bothered to give him a nickname, when she clearly had plenty at hand for every other living thing on the space ship. He was beginning to wonder if his name sounded similar to some sort of derogatory Falkian term; he still had plenty of memories from when Private Azkrak joined their ranks. It took weeks to get the other privates to stop snickering whenever his name was said during roll call.

Sasori had been buried so deeply in his musings that he hadn't noticed they had stopped walking until he ran into Konan's back. "Sorry, sorry," he muttered with a slight flush to his cheeks.

"Zat is all right," Konan stated. She was facing an unlabeled steel door, and currently seemed to be trying to dig something out of the pocket of her utility belt. "Our reports indicate zat you 'umans are often overcome by wild fantasies zat pull you out of reality for a bit."

"Right…"

"'Ere we are! I was beginning to zink zat Pein 'ad stolen my key again." Konan clicked a few things under her breath that no doubt were neither kind towards her comrade nor meant for Sasori's ears, but silenced herself once the door was unlocked. "Quickly, inside!" The next instant found Sasori within the room as the door was closed behind them.

It took the human a few minutes to register that he was looking at the interior of Konan's bedroom. It wasn't much larger than his own, but a few things here and there gave it a more lived-in feeling. A thick comforter adorned her hastily made bed, and several books were still scattered across her minute desk. Across the room a weathered bookcase stood tall and proud, its shelves housing a few books, but far more knickknacks and trinkets than anything else. The thing that immediately attracted Sasori's eye was a pewter picture frame holding a tiny photograph, its edges cracked and charred. The subjects of the photo were three children; one being a girl with light blue pigtails, the other two boys, slightly bigger, one with spiked orange hair, the other with messy brown locks that hung down into his eyes. They were sitting around a circle and appeared to be throwing different shaped blocks inside the ring, perhaps playing the Falkian version of marbles. "Zat was taken many years ago," Konan murmured beside him, before crossing the room to brush some invisible dust off the frame.

Sasori started; he hadn't meant to stare. "Sorry," he stated.

"Is zat all you can say when you are sleepy?" Konan asked, though the look in her eyes indicated the question was asked in good humor.

"I mean, I wasn't trying to stare…it's just such an interesting picture…I didn't want to offend you-"

"You are beginning to sound like monsieur loud-mouth," the VUM leader chuckled. "It is all right, ma chére. Zis picture is a 'appy memory of mine."

"So that's you and Pein in the shot," Sasori murmured thoughtfully. "But who is the other boy?"

"He is…was…my older brozer."

Sasori winced at hearing the past tense. "I'm very sorry." He could have kicked himself for saying the s word again, but what else was he supposed to say now?

"It was a long time ago, in a village on Verden," Konan went on, her voice far-off and longing. "Ze adults were always talking about war, and occasionally a boy would run off to join ze army, but for we children, this was nozing but some adult game. Nagato and Pein would play soldiers at times, but it was only to rescue me, ze princess."

Sasori snorted, and then quickly looked away. He probably seemed rude now, but the idea of seeing this officer in a poofy princess outfit and needing anyone to rescue her was absolutely ridiculous.

"You may laugh now, but many zings change over ze years, monsieur."

"What happened?"

"One day, I went to bed. When I woke up, zere were many explosions and screams around me, and ze air stank like smoke and burned meat. My mozer pulled me out of bed and ran out of ze 'ouse just before it collapsed. We never found my fazer or Nagato on ze way out of the village; I am not sure if zey had already been killed, or were attempting to save ze ozer villagers."

"If they were anything like you, it was probably the latter," Sasori commented.

His words brought a soft smile to Konan's lips. "Zank you for that, my friend.

"Mozer took me to ze woods and told me to stay put, while she went to 'elp the ozers. She made several trips back with women and children, but one time…she simply did not return." Sasori felt his stomach twist in a knot. "Once ze fires 'ad died down, we went looking in ze rubble for anyzing we could use. Zis picture is all zat is left of my 'ome."

"What happened next?"

"Zere was talk of going to ozer towns, or rebuilding our village. No one knew what to do, but zere was only one zing zat we younger people said; we must get revenge.

"I was so mad zat ze mere thought of you 'umans was enough to, 'ow you say, make me snap. Zere were many of us children zat wanted to run off to ze nearest recruiting station and sign on immediately. But zen one night, Pein comes up to me and says, 'Zis is not right. We 'ave just lost our 'omes and families, so we know 'ow painful zat is. Why are we rushing off to do zis to ozer people? Zis is not ze way to settle our problems.' And after 'e said zis to me, I was ashamed for wanting to be like zose people who'd killed my parents and Nagato.

"Zat night, Pein and I ran off togezer to ze capital city. I assume you know ze place?"

"Domini," Sasori stated, remembering hearing the name numerous times in training. Currently, it was considered the only Falkian city completely protected from any and all human attacks.

"Oui. We 'ad no money and no prospects, but to us, zere was nothing worse zan staying next to our former 'ome and being reminded day after day of what 'ad been lost. After a few weeks of scraping by, we were able to meet with some, as you say, revolutionary zinkers zat were looking for young recruits. Fast forward a few years, and ze two of us are ranking officers in what 'as come to be the Verden Underground Movement."

"You've been through so much…"

"It is no more zan what any ozer orphan on Verden 'as gone through. I am quite sure zat your friend would tell you a tale of similar sufferings, if you sat down and asked."

Sasori chose not to mention that Deidara had already shared the story of his own town's demise; Konan looked torn up as it was. "Is that why you called me here?" Sasori inquired.

"Hm? Oh, no, zis was just ze ramblings of a wounded woman," Konan informed him with a thoughtless wave of her hand. "Zere is a different reason for your presence 'ere."

"Which is…?"

"Monsieur Sasori, 'ow did you and Deidara come into contact? Monsieur fishy 'as said that Deidara was already a prisoner on your ship, but I find his tale as fishy ze rest of 'im."

Sasori nerves were set on edge by this statement. Kisame was an incredibly gifted speaker and manipulator of the truth, so for Konan to see through his tale was nothing short of a miracle. He decided against trying to come up with a better cover story; he'd always been a lousy liar, and doubted the Falk would be forgiving if two humans lied to her in the course of a few days. "We were flying past a Falk ship, when a human vessel escaped its cargo bay and sent out a distress signal. The plane ended up crashing on a nearby planet, and when I landed down there to rescue the pilot, I found Deidara instead."

"And you did not shoot 'im on sight?" Konan asked, eyebrow cocked in surprise.

Sasori sighed. He really didn't want to explain his motivation behind keeping Deidara alive, particularly to this Falk. "He was lying unconscious amidst a pile of wreckage. It seemed low to kill him like that; dirty even. And by the time he woke up, I'd gotten attached to him, and, well…"

"You are a very lucky 'uman. If Deidara 'ad been any ozer Falk, you would 'ave been killed ze first chance your back was turned."

"And why is that?"

"Simple. Your ship was working and not recognizable by the computers from wherever Deidara escaped. 'Is ship was damaged and being sought. Killing you and taking ze vessel would 'ave been in 'is best interest."

"I suppose-"

"But zat is beside ze point. What I need to know is if Deidara told you any furzer details about ze escape."

By now, Sasori was somewhat wary of Konan as he continued his story. He wasn't sure why the blue-haired rebel was so interested in Deidara's escape, but unless he was sure it would benefit the duo in the long run, Sasori wanted to play on the safe side and withhold anything Konan didn't absolutely need to know. "That's it. Just that a ship docked on Orochimaru's-"

"Zat man? Deidara escaped from Orochimaru?" Konan's face twisted itself into a mask of pure hatred and rage as a rapid string of hisses and screeches escaped her mouth.

"What's wrong?" Sasori asked in alarm. To see Konan lose control like this was nearly as frightening as the day she and Deidara had been arguing, only now he didn't have Kisame and Deidara to back him up if things turned violent.

"Zat man is a monster! A demon! I am ashamed to call him a Falk, zat son of a blue-tailed Ferrum and Arkian swamp-hopper! 'E buys and sells 'omeless Falks like zey are beasts, and zose zat cannot be bought directly are poisoned wiz ze drugs 'e sells as zough zey were candies!" More hisses and clicks followed this, and not for the last time was Sasori grateful for a language barrier.

"Konan?" he asked after a few more minutes of the rebel's rage. "Konan, we were talking about Deidara?"

"Oui, oui," Konan replied, a hand on her chest as she took several deep, calming breaths. "Forgive me, monsieur Sasori; it is just, ze zought zat anyone could look at zis war and see nozing but a chance to make a profit…it is enough to, as you say, make one's blood simmer."

"It's boil, but I understand what you mean."

"I was 'oping to get more information about Deidara's escape. You see, we are going to be reaching Verden in a few 'ours, and in order to get past ze planet's outer defenses undetected, we must 'ack a few security computers."

"You honestly think Deidara is capable of hacking a computer?" Sasori snorted. "Surely you jest."

"I fail to see what sleeveless clozing 'as to do wiz our situation, monsieur. But surely you realize what Deidara 'ad to go through to escape?"

"I said 'jest', not vest. And what do you mean?"

"Zink about it. Deidara would 'ave needed to get into ze computers and program zem to zink 'e was allowed out of his room. Zen Deidara would 'ave 'ad to make zem allow access to ze ship's garage. Meanwhile, Deidara would also need to know what routes ze guards monitored so it would be possible to avoid zem during ze escape. Zen zere is ze matter of activating ze ship wizout immediately arousing suspicion, opening ze door to ze 'angar wiz weapons 'e 'ad never directly operated before, only possibly researched, and finally escaping knowing zere was enough time to get a safe distance away! It must 'ave been nearly impossible and taken months to plan!"

"You really think Deidara did all that?" Sasori asked under his breath, somewhat alarmed by her deduction.

Konan was beyond hearing now, and quickly shooed Sasori out the door. "My decision 'as been made. Once we are a little closer to Verden, I shall wake 'im and see to it zat 'e 'elps us wiz ze landing! I'll be sure to wake you and ze ozer 'umans as well, so you can see our world! Au revoir, monsieur Sasori!" And with that the Falk disappeared back into her room.

Sasori couldn't bring himself to feel annoyed at the woman; her assessment of Deidara was overwhelming, to say the least. He'd seen the blond escape and knew that somehow Deidara had botched his break for freedom, but just as quickly the Falk had reworked the scheme and utilized the nearby human ships to help him escape. Even when that went wrong and he crash-landed on a godforsaken planet, Deidara had immediately turned to Sasori, someone who should have been his sworn enemy, and managed to convince the redhead not only to spare his life, but also sneak him back onto the ship and hide him away from those that wanted to harm him.

As Sasori slipped back inside his room, he found himself leaning back against the door for support. This didn't make sense. The Deidara he knew was light-hearted and carefree, and could be simple in more ways than one. Yet when he stepped back and looked at the big picture, the Falk appeared far more cunning and conniving than Sasori had originally given him credit for.

Sasori's knees gave out as he slowly sank down to the floor. Just who was Deidara, when you really got down to it? Which picture of the blond was the right one?

The redhead was still trying to figure out the answer to that question when Konan returned for him three hours later.


	13. Chapter 12

"Where are we going this time?" Sasori inquired as he drudged down the hall after Konan. It was too early to be up, and his feet were still disagreeing with his brain on the whole walking concept.

"Ze bridge, monsieur. I assume you want to see our 'ome planet wiz a good view, oui?"

That was right, Konan had promised to wake him and the rest of the refugees when they approached Verden. His mind drifted more towards alertness at the realization that he would get to see the enemy's home front at long last, as opposed to diagrams or projector slides in an office space.

It appeared Sasori wasn't the only one to feel this way about seeing Verden. He arrived at the bridge to see the other humans gathered together near the large window at the front of the ship, gazing out into the black void of space. The Falks, for their part, remained stationed at the rows of computers lining the room, focused more on their work than star gazing. Just another difference between the species, Sasori guessed.

"Danna!"

Sasori turned to see Deidara at a nearby computer terminal, typing away between two brunette Falks. Upon seeing that the redhead had arrived, however, the blond was quick to abandon his work station and rush up to the duo, skidding to a halt in front of Konan and grinning widely at the pair. "Hey Sasori, un! Did you sleep well?"

"Just fine," the Akasuna lied. Konan may have been a good judge at when people were telling the truth, but experience had taught him Deidara wasn't as skilled in that area. "When did you get here?"

"A few hours ago," Deidara answered as his smile gave way to a frown, which immediately directed itself towards the female leader. "Konan dragged me out of bed and told me I had to help land on Verden, un. I didn't even get breakfast first!"

"Shouldn't you be at the computer then?"

"What? ACK!" Deidara suddenly seemed to remember that he was, in fact, supposed to be doing a job, and quickly high-tailed it back to his seat, which managed to thoroughly upset his neighbors who were just getting resettled after the blond's initial outburst.

"Deidara is not, 'ow you say, ze brightest bulb in ze candy store," Konan commented.

"That's putting it mildly," Sasori agreed. Still, seeing Deidara be such a ditz was comforting, in a way. He'd grown rather attached to the Falk in the brief time they'd been together, and wasn't prepared to accept the idea that all of the things that had transpired between the pair were not because Deidara wanted to be friends, but rather because the blond was a manipulative monster that required Sasori's assistance in reaching his goals. "So, how close are we?"

"Do you see zat green orb on ze left? It is about ze size of my fist at ze moment." Sasori peered through the window and saw a planet that appeared to match Konan's description. When he nodded, Konan took that as her cue to go on. "Zat, ma chére, is Verden. We shall arrive very soon."

"When will I and the others be outfitted with atmosphere equipment?" Sasori inquired. Landing on foreign planets was extremely dangerous for humans; the slightest difference in gravity or atmosphere contents was enough to wreak havoc on their internal organs. Hell, half of basic training had been emphasizing how important it was to make sure artificial atmospheric conditions were kept stable during space travel and how to react should this become compromised. The trainees had been bombarded with more photos of failures in this area than he cared to remember; everything from the ancient photos of astronauts being carried off shuttles because their bones were too weak to support their frame, to the more recent (and graphic) depictions of careless humans setting foot on foreign planets with no protection whatsoever.

This wasn't to say that Sasori et al were unprepared for less than affable conditions. His standard-grade armor was equipped with a filter and gravity neutralizer, in the event he was stranded on a foreign planet for a short period of time (such as his rescue attempt with Deidara). The fact that the blond had needed zero armor (as he'd found out upon returning to the ship and finding Deidara bare of any) was a testament to how much better adapted Falks were to the realms of deep space than humans.

"Ah yes, I was worried you were going to ask about zat," Konan muttered with a sheepish look. "You see, we 'ave been putting nano-bots in ze food for a few days now-"

"WHAT?"

"Please listen to me before you are flying off the wagon! Zese are designed to 'elp your body process the excess 'elium and neon in our atmosphere, as well as periodically give you nitrogen! I swear, you 'umans are so delicate it's ridiculous you've lasted zis long."

"And the fact that your gravity is heavier than ours? I'd rather not have my spleen pop like an over-ripened tomato, if you don't mind."

"Calm down, monsieur Sasori! We 'ave been increasing ze gravity from Earth levels to Verden's normal level over your stay aboard! You should feel nozing more zan a slight headache and loss of appetite for a few days."

"You are one clever, conniving mastermind," Sasori commented.

"I shall assume zat is a very 'igh 'uman compliment. Now, anyzing else, or 'as my brilliance completely blown your mind?"

Sasori resisted the urge to roll his eyes; he was amused, but wary of the animalistic side of Konan he'd seen displayed far too often should she become enraged. "Why exactly do you need so many people working at these terminals?"

Konan sighed and shook her head. "Getting a non-army ship on and off Verden zese days is about as easy as getting a 'uman ship to do ze same. If ze sensors pick us up, one of two zings will 'appen. Eizer we will be shot down wiz the planet's defense satellites and burn up in ze atmosphere, or we will be forced to land, inspected by ze auzorities, and zen killed by firing squad."

"Dear Kami."

"To avoid zis, we 'ave set up a sort of…what would you call it…bah, you 'umans and your languages! Essentially it is a dead zone zat keeps any transmissions from being sent or received will entering ze atmosphere, so unless a person is viewing our ship wiz an actual pair of eyes, we will appear to be a meteor. Once in ze atmosphere, we receive transmissions and bounce zem out ze ozer side of ze ship, so it looks like nozing is zere anymore. Zey assume we 'ave burned up in ze atmosphere, and we can land safe and sound."

"Wow. I mean…wow."

Konan smirked at the flabbergasted soldier. "Oui. Now zen, I have important mittens to attend to, if you please."

Sasori was about to correct the Falk, but at that moment caught sight of Kisame leaning against one of the ship's windows. The redhead bid Konan farewell and crossed the deck to stand by the general.

-mm-

Kisame acted as though he hadn't noticed Sasori's approach at first, despite catching his reflection in the glass. Truthfully, Kisame simply wanted to be left alone with his thoughts; all he could focus on at the moment was the ever-approaching green orb of Verden, and Sasori by this point knew the reason why. Surely the redhead could take a hint and leave him alone… "Kisame?"

Apparently not. "What, Sasori." The shark's tone was flat, borderline irritated, and he still refused to look at the redhead.

Sasori, to his credit, was not about to back down. "Have you thought about what you'll say to him when we find them?"

This time, Kisame graced the Akasuna with a sideways glance. "Sasori, it has been three years since I've seen him. I have no way of knowing how much he's changed, what he thinks of me, and whether he even still wants to be on the humans' side after all the shit we've indirectly put him through. He could be maimed, sick, or a Falkian soldier now, if not a hundred other things. And he's not stupid, Sasori; after the first few months of not being rescued, he would have realized that help wasn't coming because I didn't authorize a rescue mission, and from their he'll deduce that I, the one human he trusted more than anyone else, thought that he was a worthless traitor who deserved whatever the hell his people wanted to throw at him. This is, of course, assuming that he's somehow still alive and competent after three years of living in a horrific war zone the likes of which you and I couldn't imagine if we read the entirety of Dante's _Inferno_ and multiplied that horror by a thousand. So no, Sasori, I've yet to figure out the appropriate way to beg his forgiveness and pray he doesn't use those claws of his to skin me alive."

For the second time in a short while, Sasori found himself completely tongue-tied and unable to do anything more than blink dumbly at his commanding officer. Well when one put it that way, things certainly seemed bleak.

Kisame sighed at the redhead's discomfort and physically turned to look out the window again. He wasn't mad at the redhead; rather, he was angry at the circumstances. After the Falks had been intercepted three years ago, he'd been forced to shelve his feelings for Itachi and swallow a bitter pill that he'd been nothing to the young Falk but an easy way to gain information on the enemy humans that could be sold back on Verden to the highest bidder.

Now, however, the theory that Itachi did in fact care about him and the humans seemed more and more likely. Why hadn't Kisame considered other options, like a different traitor setting up Itachi? Idiot. Idiot, idiot, a thousand times over he was an idiot. And icing on the cake, being forced to confront the truth of what happened to the squad of dissenting Falks dragged his feelings for Itachi front and center stage in his mind. Kisame was beginning to see that he'd never stopped loving the young Falk, and his willingness to believe the worst about Itachi may have been a nasty side effect of heartbreak and betrayal. He deserved to be torn to shreds by Itachi for this.

Dear Kami, just saying the man's name was painful to him. How could have not known he still cared about Itachi until this fiasco? He'd refused to date, under the guise of a heavy workload that he brought upon himself so he'd be free from any interaction with potential dates. The shark refused to meet with any Falkian prisoners or diplomats during those three years as well. He'd assumed that it was because the sight of Falks disgusted him after the betrayal; thinking back, he realized the lurch in his stomach came not from anger, but sorrow at seeing the race his Itachi belonged to and the physical features that were so unique to Falks. And then, at the first sign that someone had heard about Itachi after his disappearance…Kisame hadn't even thought to question the words he'd heard Deidara speak through the cabin's door, but leapt at them like a dying man pouncing on a steak dinner.

Kisame sighed again and allowed his head to thump audibly against the glass window of the ship. This was an absolute nightmare. "I just need some time alone, all right? We'll talk when the ship lands. Now please go away, before I have to order you to do so."

"…Understood." Kisame didn't bother to watch the redhead as Sasori walked off to rejoin Konan.

-mm-

Much to Sasori's amazement, the VUM's plan went off without a hitch, and a mere two hours later the ship had broken through Verden's atmosphere and was preparing to land. "Konan, where exactly is the base?" Sasori asked.

"Ze exact coordinates are of no concern to you; all you need to know is zat we will be landing in a razer rural area, far from any eyes that may, 'ow you say, pry where zey do not belong. Now if you will excuse me, I must 'ave words wiz monsieur fishy."

"Present." The duo turned away from the windows to see Kisame standing behind them, looking about as cheerful as a sack of popped balloons. "What's the problem?"

"No problem; at least, not yet."

"Am I to assume that we're going to have a problem then?"

"I am getting to zat! Bah, I feel zat I could fit ze entirety of 'umanity's patience in a teaspoon!"

"Sorry," Kisame quickly apologized before the commander could become any more agitated. "I'm just stressed."

"Oui, I know zis; but you must focus on ze 'ere and now so zere is a chance to focus on ze zere and later, oui?"

"Oui. I mean, sure."

"Good. Now zen, listen carefully. You too, Sasori." The two humans leaned in closer to the blue-haired Falk. "Not everyone in VUM is as fond of you 'umans as I and ze crew aboard my ship are. I am sticking my neck on ze, what is it, chopping brick for you and ze ozer 'umans. If zey cause too much of a disturbance or problems, I cannot guarantee zeir safety. Same if I am relieved of my duties and replaced. Zerefore, it is of the up-top importance zat you keep zem in ze straight and narrow at all times."

"You have my word, the men will be kept under close supervision. Particularly Hidan," Kisame added before Konan could inquire about him.

"Very well zen. All zat we can do now is see 'ow good your word is."


	14. Chapter 13

Sasori wasn't sure what to expect the rebel base to be like, but it definitely didn't match up to the reality. The ship landed in the middle of a thick jungle, and from what Sasori could tell, the only buildings on the base were ships that had crashed a long time ago and later had been hollowed out for the Verden Underground Movement's use. Supply crates were piled between the ships, creating crude pathways from one vessel to another, and the only protection the base was afforded came from the surrounding foliage (not necessarily a bad thing; from Sasori's point of view, the vines growing between trees formed a tightly-woven Technicolor mess that blocked the view of anything further than a few yards outside the grounds. Judging from the size of the ships, no more than a hundred people could live on the base at any given time, which may have accounted for its lack of fortifications and supplies if it were just a small rebel outpost. "It is not much, but we must make do wiz what we 'ave," Konan murmured.

The redhead turned to look at the Falk commander. At the moment, the two of them were standing in the bay area of their ship, watching through the front window as the local rebels unloaded the supplies to disburse throughout the base. The Akasuna was sticking close to Konan; several of the rebels had already given the humans less than kind looks, and from the way they whispered to each other it was quite obvious that not all the locals thought Konan should have brought the "enemy" to their base. The Akasuna was beginning to think it would be a bad idea to wander about the base without Deidara…speaking of which, where was he? "Konan, do you know where Deidara went?"

"Deidara got off ze ship almost as soon as we landed," Konan replied without taking her eyes off the workers before her. There was no doubt that the supplies she'd brought in had caused her a great deal of trouble to acquire and sneak back, so anyone dropping, damaging, or stealing the equipment would be met with swift and harsh retribution from the rebel leader. "I believe 'e is exploring ze local area and relieving 'is, as you say, 'omesickness." She finally turned to look at Sasori, and the look on her face was one of nervous discomfort. "I realize you might wish to see 'im, now zat we 'ave landed. 'Owever, I must insist you do not leave ze ship wizout Deidara. Ze locals are…less accepting zan I would wish."

"I understand," Sasori replied, placing his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. She gave him an odd look though, and the hand was soon removed. He'd probably need to explain that later, or have Kisame do so for him. "I'm very grateful for everything you've done for us so far, Konan. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"Zere is one zing. You see, I fear zat monsieur loudmouz will be unable to keep 'imself in check on ze base, and we cannot afford any incidents. I 'ave a plan to make sure problems don't 'appen, but I will need your 'elp convincing 'im."

"Just tell me what to do."

-mm-

Once the supplies were unloaded, Sasori followed Konan back into the depths of the ship. The blue-haired woman made her way down the hall and eventually turned into a side room, shutting the door behind them so quickly she almost caught Sasori's sleeve in the door. Inside he found Hidan, Kisame, and another man sitting around a table. The newcomer was bundled up in a trench coat and a mask that obscured his entire head, save for a pair of green, hawk-like eyes. He was even bigger than Kisame, and from the way he was slouched down in his seat it was rather obvious he didn't want to be here. "Konan? Who's he?" Sasori asked.

"Exactly what I want to know," Hidan snapped. "We've been sitting here for fifteen fucking minutes, and that jackass hasn't said a damn thing!"

"Kisame, 'Idan, zis is Kakuzu," Konan explained. "Ze reason 'e cannot say anyzing is because 'is vocal chords were permanently damaged in a prior mission. Kakuzu is, 'ow you say, a mute."

"…Oh."

"Yes yes, you feel like a jack's ass now. Ze reason I 'ave brought you 'ere is to ensure zat monsieur loudmouz does not cause problems on ze base. As such, Kakuzu 'as been asked to accompany you when you choose to leave ze ship, or participate in any future missions-"

"Wait just a Jashin-damned minute!" Hidan interjected. "You're telling me that dumbass is supposed to be my **babysitter**?"

"In a matter of speaking, yes," Konan replied in a tone that left no room for debate. "Zere is a very good chance zat if you take one step off zis ship without someone to watch you, you'll cause an incident and be buried in a shallow grave. We need you alive and in one piece to return to ze 'umans when zis mess is over and done, so Kakuzu is 'ere to preserve you."

"No way in hell," Hidan snapped. The zealot had already risen from his seat and stormed around the table to stand face-to-face with Konan. "If you think for one fucking second I'm going to-"

Hidan never got a chance to finish his threat. Kakuzu had taken one look at the position his leader was in and rushed to her aid, in the form of lifting Hidan off the ground by his throat and glaring him down.

"What the hell?" Sasori and Kisame both moved to help their incapacitated friend, but were stopped by a wave of Konan's hand. "Konan-" Sasori began.

"Shh. Just watch, monsieur."

Hidan kicked at Kakuzu and attempted to pry the man's fingers away from his throat. Kakuzu, for his part, stood as still as a statue and allowed the silver-haired man to struggle for several minutes. At last Hidan stopped moving and settled for glaring daggers at the larger man. "All right, I get it," he growled out. "Now fucking put me down."

Kakuzu immediately released his grip and let the human soldier sink down to the ground. "Fine, he can follow me around," Hidan conceded. "But if he pisses me off, you three are going to pay!"

"Why am I involved in this?" Sasori groaned as the zealot stormed past him with the Falk soldier close behind. "I didn't do anything."

"Yes, I apologize for wasting your time," Konan offered weakly. "I thought I would need you and monsieur fishy to convince 'Idan to go wiz my plan, but, well…it appears to 'ave worked itself out razer well."

"Speak for yourself," Kisame groaned. "I just earned myself another round of headaches from Hidan. I guarantee that by the end of the week, if that Kakuzu guy hasn't strangled Hidan, I'm going to want to."

-mm-

Later that night, when both humans and Falks had settled into their quarters for the night and all was silent about Konan's ship, Sasori grew tired of waiting for Deidara to return and decided to sneak out and find the blond. The Akasuna wasn't familiar with the local terrain at all, but from what he understood neither was Deidara, so the Falk couldn't have gone too far.

Sasori was somewhat grateful that he only passed by a handful of Falk soldiers on his way out of the ship. All the members of VUM had been briefed on the humans' presence and shown pictures of what the refugees looked like, but there was still the off-chance some trigger happy rebel would shoot him a few times by accident. Or at least say it was an accident when explaining themselves…no, he shouldn't think like that. The refugee humans and VUM were in the same predicament, and he needed to give them the benefit of the doubt, as allies. Keeping these thoughts in mind, Sasori rushed down the hallway as quickly and quietly as he could, with only the eerie glow of the red overhead lights to guide him.

After what felt like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a few minutes, Sasori reached one of the emergency exits that currently functioned as an entrance for medical supplies while the ship was on the ground. The main entrances were tightly guarded, of course, but a lack of rebel guards meant the supply doors had a much more lax security setup, making it perfect for a late night getaway. A quick press of a door pad, the barely-audible hiss of a door ghosting along its tracks and sliding into the wall, and a hop outside was all it took for Sasori to make his escape.

Sasori's first impression of Verden wasn't too terribly good, as he was quite certain that he'd broken his ankle jumping off the ship. The drop couldn't have been more than a meter or so, yet there was an immense pain around his left ankle, and stars were currently dancing across his vision like his own private meteor shower. Somewhere in the back of his head he remembered Konan warning him about her planet's higher gravity, and even if she adjusted her ship's interior, his fragile human body would still get a shock when confronted by the real thing. All this was secondary though, because now the Akasuna couldn't breathe.

"_Don't panic,"_ Sasori told himself as his lungs refused to expand. _"It's just a different atmosphere than what you're used to. The nanobots will kick in soon."_ Sure enough, the air around Sasori seemed to become much more breathable in only a matter of seconds, and the pain in his ankle was subsiding. Relieved, the redhead gulped down huge lungfuls of air and began moving his arms and legs about in an experimental fashion, testing his limits in this new world. The soldier part of him growled that this entire mess could have been avoided if he'd just worn his armor, but that would have disguised some of his physical features, and thus increased his chances of getting shot. While Sasori was quite sure the VUM could handle a swollen ankle and oxygen deprivation, he wasn't as certain they could properly treat a gunshot wound to one of his major organs. Thus, less was more in this case.

"Just a headache and a bit of nausea she said," Sasori growled. "Nothing to worry about, she said. I'm going to have a few choice words for that woman the next time I see her." The Akasuna sighed and tried to push his frustration levels down to a more reasonable setting. The woman had given him fair warning that his first few days on Verden wouldn't be all sunshine and rainbows, and had gone out of her way to make sure the artificial gravity and atmosphere in her ship remained functional for a few days longer. Besides, annoyance at Konan could wait. For now, he needed to find Deidara.

Sasori had a remarkably easy time navigating through the settlement, much to his own surprise. There were no lights outside the ships, electric or otherwise, lest some human or Falkian satellite pick up on their location while flying overhead. However, the VUM's base had to be miles from any sort of civilization, and thus there was no external source of light on the ground level to obscure the stars and moons overhead, which illuminated the area as well as any artificial light source could. True, there were some blind spots when Sasori had to pass between ships wedged unusually close together, but mostly it was smooth sailing over calm seas for the soldier.

It didn't take him long to decide that he was going to have to confine his search solely to their camp, and if that didn't result in finding Deidara, the blond would just have to stay missing until morning. For one thing, Sasori had wrongly assumed that when Konan said a rural area, she was talking about sparse settlements and fields, like the tiny rural towns he was used to seeing back on Earth. In truth, the base seemed to have been set up in what could only be called a jungle, and now that he could actually see the fauna up-close, he noticed several native plant species doing their best to encroach upon the grounded ships and reclaim the area for the forest once more. It didn't take a genius to figure out that going into such a place would surely result in getting impossibly lost (at least until you became tangled in vines or whatever was making those hisses and growls found and ate you). Besides this, the boxes around the Falks' camp seemed to have been set up as an intentionally confusing maze, full of paths that dead-ended into a solid wall of spaceship or circled about until you felt more lost than you'd been at the beginning of your walk. Twice Sasori swore he'd been walking in a perfectly straight line, only to arrive back at the door to Konan's ship with no idea as to how this could have happened. He spent nearly an hour like this before finally calling it quits and deciding it would be best to just return to his room and wait for the blond to find him.

A soft thump coming from several feet behind him caused these thoughts to quickly vacate his mind. Adrenaline began pumping through his veins as he tried to remain calm. There were plenty of good reasons for a thud behind him, namely that the Akasuna was sleep-deprived and simply hearing things-

A pair of hands suddenly descended over his eyes as a muscular body pressed into his back. Crap! "If I was an enemy, you'd be dead by now, un."

Deidara! Why that little-! A rather mean plot suddenly came into being within Sasori's mind, and while the nicer part of him would no doubt regret this later, his vindictive side cheered him on with everything it had. "Really now." Sasori grabbed Deidara's arms and fell to his knees. The blond was caught off guard and was forced to follow Sasori downwards. Quickly the puppet master used the momentum to flip Deidara forward, making the Falk gasp as he had the wind knocked out of him. A few flips of the wrist and a well-placed knee soon had Deidara pinned to the ground face-down with both hands held behind his back by Sasori. "Because it looks like you'd be the one dead."

"Whoa, where'd you learn to do that, un?" Deidara marveled through a mouthful of dirt.

"My grandmother also taught me martial arts alongside my puppeting skills when I was growing up. Probably one of the reasons the old bag will live forever. So try to avoid sneaking up on me in the future. There were about a dozen different ways I could have taken you down when you pulled that prank on me; this was the only one that wasn't guaranteed to break some of your bones. Understand?"

"Got it. Don't mess with Sasori danna or you'll die, un." Satisfied with the Falk's answer, Sasori climbed off the younger male and offered him a hand to get up. Once they were both standing and dusted off, the pair began making their way back towards the base. "Why were you out here, un? You could have gotten lost or shot, you know."

"I was worried about you," Sasori admitted. "You'd been gone for quite a while, and considering the position we're in right now…it's not too far-fetched to assume the worst."

"Far-fetched?"

"To out of the question."

"Un?"

"Reasonable. It was reasonable to think something might have happened to you."

"Ooooh. Why didn't you just say that, un?"

"Because…never mind."

"Argh, you humans wouldn't have so many problems if you would just say what you mean, un!"

"Konan decided to stick Hidan with one of her guards," Sasori stated, intending to change the subject before Deidara could go off on an unintelligible rant. "He's built like a brick wall and scares the living daylights out of me. His name's Kakuzu; any chance you've heard of him?"

"No, but VUM's really good at keeping their membership secret, un. I just happened to know that a large part of their forces spoke French as their primary human language, un." When Sasori gave him a confused look, the blond went on. "Well the stories say that the part of Verden where VUM, umm…springed up? It was supposed to be near a French human colony. The settlement's leveled to the ground now, but the language stays. So what's this Kakuzu guy like, un?"

"Big, as I said. His voice was damaged in some sort of accident, so I don't know if he speaks or understands us, but I think he may know some English. Green eyes, dark skin-"

"A meridic then."

"What?"

"Well there's different groups of Falks like with humans, un," Deidara huffily stated as though such a notion should have been quite obvious to Sasori. "Like there's people like you with pale skin, and blue people like Kisame, right?"

"Well, yes and no. Humans don't usually come out blue, but I get what you're saying."

"Right, and Falks are the same. Green eyes with darker skin are common for Falks on the southern plains, meridics. Konan and Pein are probably occassi; Falks from western forests and characterized by colorful hair and sharper vision from an eye…mutitation, I think, un. I'm septentrio; northern forests, and most human-ish in looks."

"Wow Deidara," Sasori murmured in an uneasy sort of awe. Deidara had suddenly gone from unaware kid to knowledgeable conversationalist in under ten minutes, again forcing Sasori to rethink the true level of Deidara's intelligence. Then again, he'd probably sound the same way explaining the difference between the people in South America and China, so was it really that big of a deal? Best not to think about it now…

"I can tell you more about them in the morning, un." Suddenly, the blond let out a yawn and clicked something to himself. "For now though, let's go to bed. I'm exhausted, un."

"Busy exploring your home?"

Much to the redhead's surprise, Deidara shook his head. "It's not my home, danna. It's Verden, but the trees and flowers…they're different than what I had in my town. Does that make sense, un?"

"Oh." What was the appropriate response to something like that? "Do you think you could take me to your home when the war's over?" Probably not that.

Deidara turned to Sasori with a genuine look of surprise on his face. "You would want to do that, un?"

"Sure."

"Why?"

"No idea." And that was the truth; Sasori had no idea why he'd suggested such a thing, or why he had affirmed that it was something he'd like to do. "When the fighting's over, some of our troops will probably remain on-planet to rebuild. I could request being stationed near your village-"

"It's nothing but stone and grass now," Deidara cut in. "So there's no point to go back, un."

"Don't you ever miss it though?"

The blond shrugged. "It's gone, and I can't change that, un. Falks don't get as…um, it means sad or...mushy, I think, when you think about stuff…"

"Sentimental?" Sasori guessed.

"That's it, un!" At that moment, the duo arrived at the door to Konan's ship, which caused them to briefly cease their conversation as they re-entered their temporary lodgings. "Urgh, finally," Deidara grunted as he hoisted Sasori back inside the ship.

"Right. I'll see you in the morning, then." Sasori nodded to the blond and began to walk off, only to be stopped by a surprisingly strong hand wrapping around his wrist.

"Sasori danna?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks for your offer, un. But you don't have to be so nice; I'm sticking with you until I pay you back for saving me, un."

"Oh. All right."

"Great. Goodnight danna!" Smiling, Deidara scurried down the hall towards his quarters, leaving a very confused Sasori behind.

The redhead was experiencing a mixture of surprise, confusion, and a bit of apprehension. Falks may look human, but there were clearly some fundamental differences between species that he was completely clueless about. It was time to take a crash course in Falks. He needed to speak to Kisame.


	15. Chapter 14

"Sasori!" BANG BANG BANG "Sasori, Konan says it's time to get up!"

"Go die," the Akasuna growled from under his covers. Sasori's previous late night adventures with Deidara had left him completely exhausted, and being woken this early by Tobi of all people was not his ideal start to the morning.

"But Sasori, we have a mission to do!" Tobi whined helplessly from the other side of the door.

Sasori's mind inched closer to consciousness at the statement. Mission?

As quickly as he sleep-deprived body could, the redhead threw on the closest pair of cargo pants and boots, before stumbling to the door as he pulled on his wife-beater. "What do you mean, mission? Wait, where's your mask?!"

Tobi, much to Sasori's shock, was standing before him sans orange swirly mask. Instead, a pair of wide, reddish eyes glanced directly into his own, a surprised look on the chipper male's face. Apparently he didn't think going maskless was a big a deal as Sasori was making it out to be.

"Well, Kisame and Konan told Tobi that the Falks might not like being unable to see Tobi's face, so for now the mask is a no-go! But don't worry, Tobi's making friends left and right! Pretty soon Tobi'll be able to wear his lucky mask again!"

Yeesh. Sasori was positive that there could be no excuse for any refugee to be this peppy so early in the morning, and seeing Tobi smiling from ear to ear in such a manner was only making the cheerful attitude more annoying. "Look Tobi," Sasori grumbled in a sleepy voice, "You said something about a mission. What did you mean by that?"

"Come on!" Tobi ordered while pulling the redhead out of the room. "Tobi will tell you on the way!"

"All right, I'm coming," Sasori grumbled as the fellow soldier tugged him along, not wanting his arm to pop out of its socket.

"Konan got a transmission from one of the neighboring VUM branches," Tobi informed the Akasuna as they walked down the hall. "Something about it benefitting humans and Falks, but that's all she would say before telling Tobi to get you. Now we have to attend the meeting!"

"What meeting?" was all Sasori had time to ask before he and Tobi walked into the mess hall, which was completely packed with VUM rebels and human soldiers. At first the Akasuna panicked as the where he would be sitting, but was fortunately flagged down by Kisame and Deidara, who were sharing a bench near the front of the room. Tobi and Sasori quickly made their way to their friends and sat down, trying not to draw attention to themselves even though it was painfully obvious that the duo had arrived late. "What took you so long, un?" Deidara whispered once Sasori was seated.

"Pardon me, Tobi just now told me that we were supposed to meet here for some kind of mission meeting thing!"

"Quiet you two," Kisame ordered. "She's here."

Konan had indeed just walked into the room, immediately silencing what little chatter had been going on before her entrance. Pein was fast on her heels, arms full of maps and charts, whereas Konan held naught but a tiny jump drive in her hand. Both rebels had serious expressions on their faces, making Sasori feel that this meeting wasn't going to be about team morale.

"Attention, everyone!" Konan called out as Pein hissed and clicked behind her. "I will be speaking in English for our 'uman guests, and Pein will be speaking for ze rest of you. Now zen; you are surely wondering why you 'ave been called togezer today, oui? Ze reason is simple."

Pein turned and pinned a map of Verden to the wall, then dodged out of the way as Konan violently jabbed a finger towards a spot on the south-eastern side. "We 'ave received intelligence from our fellow freedom fighters zat zere 'as been some unusual activity going on in the mines in zis sector."

"Mines?" Sasori inquired.

"We used to run on solar energy," Deidara whispered. "But after the war broke out, we had to go back to mining inpes crystals un."

"Never heard of them."

"They're extremely toxic to mine, un," Deidara gravely informed him. "Even Falks need special suits to stay in the mines for existential periods of time, un."

"I think you mean extensive, but I get it."

"It is here- (at some point during Sasori and Deidara's chat, Pein had hung up a new map, this one showing a labyrinth of tunnels) zat we 'ave noticed an increase in mining activity, despite ze fact zat all reports indicate zat zis area was picked clean years ago. Somezing is rotten in denim, as you like to say."

Several clicks from the Falkian rebels interrupted Konan at that point, forcing the leader to halt her briefing. "They want to know what this means for us, un," Deidara translated before Sasori could ask.

"Simple," the blue-haired woman said. "We need to know what is going on in zere, but cannot risk sending in any of our present operatives already working ze mines, for fear of exposing zem as being in cahoots wiz us. Zerefore, our sector shall be sending in a few select fighters to infiltrate ze mines and figure out what ze bloody 'ell is going on."

"How will we get in, un?" Deidara inquired.

"Ze mines 'ave been in use for many decades," Konan explained. "As a result, zere 'ave been many shafts zat 'ave been abandoned eizer from being mined dry or considered a cave-in risk. One of zese tunnels (here she pointed to the map again) stretches nearly four miles away from ze central mining zone, and is only a little ways from our target. We will sneak our way in, infiltrate ze target area, and zen get out as quickly as possible. I must warn you, ze only protective suits we 'ave are ten years old. Even wiz zese on, anyone who accepts zis assignment still runs a high risk of sickness from inpes exposure. Who is still willing to go?"

The warning about being contaminated by toxic chemicals seemed to destroy any chances of willing volunteers to complete the assignment. Finally, Deidara's hand shot up. "I'll do it, un."

"Deidara!"

"Well no one else was going to do it, danna," Deidara argued in his defense.

"That doesn't mean you- oh, forget it." Sasori's hand was the next to rise. "I'll do it too."

"The radiation will cook you like pomato, or totato, or whatever those things are, un!" Deidara protested as hushed clicks and whispers echoed through the room.

"I'm not going to let you go in there alone, brat," Sasori was quick to retort. "And just because I'm human doesn't mean I can't handle this. Trust me, ok?"

"This is not about trust-"

"Right zen, I will require zree more volunteers for zis mission," Konan called out, and was pleased when she quickly acquired the necessary manpower. Apparently the other Falks weren't too happy about looking more cowardly than their fragile human companions. "Magnifiques! Zen we shall set out at oh six 'undred 'ours!"

"…Erm, Konan," Kisame gently began, "That was over an hour ago."

The woman blinked in surprise, and then slowly began counting off on her fingers. Konan suddenly hissed to herself, and even if he couldn't understand the language, Sasori was pretty sure the commander was swearing. "I meant sixteen 'undred 'ours! Be prepared; ze rest of you, find somezing productive to do!" And with that, the group was dismissed.

"Urgh, I need some breakfast, un," Deidara grumbled as he stumbled out of the room, though he looked more sick than hungry. Sasori felt a pang of guilt as he watched the blond walk out; he hadn't meant to upset his friend, yet it appeared he'd managed to do just that. Come to think of it, the blond's reaction wasn't what he'd expected at all. Must be another failure to understand Falks. Speaking of which, Sasori still needed to talk to Kisame.

The redhead caught sight of his commanding officer walking out the door and rushed to intercept him before the shark could make his way to the mess hall. "Kisame!"

"Hm? What is it, Sasori?" Kisame suddenly grinned a very sharky grin, as though believing he'd figured out what had caused his subordinate to stop him. "You get cold feet about the assignment and want me to talk Konan out of making you go?"

"Not at all," the puppet master stated with an air of finality.

"Then what?"

"I need to talk to you. In private," the redhead added for clarification.

Kisame's smile faded away, replaced by a concerned frown. "Might I ask why?"

"Trust me. It'd be better if we were alone for this."

-

"All right, spill," Kisame ordered. The duo had gone back to Kisame's room to ensure privacy, and now Kisame sat comfortably on his bed while Sasori reclined nearby in the room's only chair. "What's so secretive that you can't talk about it in the open?"

"I need to ask you some questions about Falks," Sasori explained. "I'm not sure where to start, but there's a lot I need to ask. I'm confused about how attached they get to people or things, how emotional they can be-"

"Sasori, before this goes any further, **please** tell me you didn't sleep with Deidara," Kisame begged.

"What?! NO!"

"Oh thank Kami."

"Why would you even suggest that?!" Sasori demanded as his face turned from pink to scarlet out of sheer embarrassment.

"Well you and Deidara are getting really close, and it's reminding me of how Itachi and I started out," Kisame wistfully replied.

"Why does that give people the right to assume we're having sex?!" a humiliated Sasori demanded, blushing all the way up to his ears now.

"Trust me, it's important for me to know whether or not that's the case, but I'll get to that in a moment. For now, we'll start with the basics. What do you remember from your training manual about Falks?"

"They're years ahead of us as far as physical strength goes," Sasori replied in the robotic manner that accompanies memorized information being regurgitated for the seven millionth time. "Their language is harsh and straight-forward, as are their thinking styles. As a result, figures of speech tend not to translate well. Although not widely studied, it is believed that they have evolved beyond most of the emotions we humans experience."

"Yeah, I thought your manual was a load of shit," Kisame muttered to himself, surprising the Akasuna with such a harsh judgment of the redhead's training. "They're physically ahead of us and couldn't understand figures of speech if their lives depended on it, but emotionally…well, it's difficult to explain. They don't usually show as many feelings as you and I do, but the ones they feel are ridiculously strong. You've seen Konan and Deidara when they get upset, right?"

"You mean that's normal?" Sasori gaped. All this time he'd been thinking Konan and Deidara were just bad at keeping their anger in check. If the rest of their race was anything like that…well, Sasori decided right then and there that he was going to do his best to stay on the rebels' good side.

"Yeah, and one of the strongest emotions they can feel is jealousy, which is why I was panicking that you and Deidara might have gotten intimate, so to speak. For some reason, it's especially a problem with humans."

"Why?"

"HSES, or Homo Sapien Exposure Syndrome. A psychologist began to study the long-term effects of human and Falk coexistence, but the war broke out before he could get much done in the way of research," Kisame informed the surprised redhead. "Basically, his report suggests that humans experience a brief period of discomfort as they adjust to living together, but then get used to their presence."

"Like moving into a new neighborhood," Sasori suggested.

"Right. But most Falks have a slightly different reaction. Being around humans makes them…not unstable, but more prone to express emotions that typically would remain dormant. The normally volatile expressions become more so. Whether this is helpful or hurtful in the long run was never determined, and the doctor performing the research was killed several years ago in an air raid, so you can't exactly ask his opinion on it. After his death, no one was willing to dump additional funding into the study, and the file got buried years ago. Hence why you still have the same information in the manual that the troops were given more than ten years ago."

The Akasuna allowed a few minutes for the information to sink in, before asking another question. "What do you think?"

Kisame took a deep breath and clasped his hands in his lap, trying to find the right words to tell Sasori. "I don't know about its overall pros and cons, but I know Itachi had it and felt the effects. Sometimes it was scary; I saw him rip a man apart with his bare hands when my life was threatened. But," Kisame added, seeing the rising panic on Sasori's face, "at the same time, he became more forgiving and kind. At least when I was around." A miserable sigh escaped Kisame then; no doubt caused by painful memories. "Basically, you can't expect the same kind of reactions from a Falk as you would from a human. You have to learn to read them, figure out what things will and won't set them off, and then treat them like you would anyone else."

Sasori frowned at the statement, turning Kisame's advice over in his head. From the way the shark described them, Falks were like normal people who felt different emotions at different levels, had diverse triggers that could set off laughter or tears, and reacted more strongly around certain people than they normally did. Such a conclusion would have been a welcome addition to the training manuals that painted their opponents as creatures that were nearly as different from humans as a garden slug. "Anything else?" Kisame asked, breaking the redhead out of his musings.

"No, thank you," Sasori replied, his mind still pondering this most recent information.

"All right. I will say this though. Falks have a little more difficulty forming bonds than humans do. They'll work well together and live peacefully side by side, but they're not exactly all BFFs."

"Understood. Thank you Kisame."

"No problem." At this point, the shark glanced across the room to the clock hanging from his wall. "On a separate note, you might want to get some lunch before your mission." Shocked by how much time had passed, the Akasuna nodded and showed himself out the door. He needed to eat and pack.

-

"How the fuck did I get roped into this?!"

"Because, monsieur loudmouz, ze rest of my men voted unanimously zat you were not to be trusted at ze base while I was away," Konan informed a rather grumpy Hidan. "It is your own fault for being so angry and yelly all ze time."

"Look who's talking," Sasori whispered, making Deidara jab him in the side as the blond attempted to stifle his giggles.

What was supposed to be a small party of Konan and a few others had grown into nearly a dozen soldiers. Sasori and Deidara were still in the group, as was Hidan, which of course meant Kakuzu had to tag along as well. The rest of the group was made up of Falks that Sasori couldn't name, but recognized from walking around the camp. They weren't outwardly friendly towards him, but after his talk with Kisame, the lack of open hospitality didn't bother the Akasuna nearly as much as it might have. Currently the group was riding a small aircraft that was not only cramped when packed full of soldiers wearing protective suits, but was flying so low that several times the bottom of it scraped against the treetops badly enough to make Sasori fear for his life.

"Now listen," Konan began. "Ze details of ze plan are as follows. We will be brought wizin 'alf a mile of ze mines; any closer, and zeir censors would notice us. We shall exit single-file, one behind ze ozer, and make our way to ze mineshaft entrance. At zis point, we shall meet our informant. 'E is, I believe, wearing blue pants and a beret, like moi. If you do not see someone like zis, assume security 'as been bleached and abort ze mission. If, 'owever, nozing goes wrong, we shall zen be led down ze mine and into ze target rooms, 'ave five minutes to collect our data, and zen flee like little girlies running from a spider. Understand?" Nods from everyone, albeit Hidan had to be prompted by a shove from Kakuzu. "If zat is ze case, we shall remain silent until our arrival."

After another half an hour and what had to have been at least five near death experiences, the aircraft finally began to descend, eventually making a soft and silent landing in a narrow clearing. Konan was out of the aircraft faster than Sasori's eyes could follow, and the rest of the Falks were not far behind. The redhead hurried after Deidara, determined to prevent the duo from being separated, and a healthy round of cursing from behind told him that Hidan (and by proxy Kakuzu) were not far off.

The group marched single file behind Konan, keeping as quiet as possible. The jungle, fortunately, provided plenty of background noise to conceal their approach, while at the same time making Sasori go crazy with panic. Every animalistic shriek of the local fauna, every snapped branch, every rustle of the leaves made the Akasuna feel as though they were about to be ambushed by the Falkian army, with little chance of escape. The others, if they felt as nervous as he, concealed it well as the squad continued on their journey.

A short eternity later, Konan held up her hand to halt the group, bring the others to a complete standstill. Slowly, eyes glued dead ahead, the woman extracted a set of binoculars from a pouch on her hip and brought them to her face, peering off into the distance. Moments later, she let out a relieved sigh and pocketed the binoculars again. "We are in luck; it is our informant."

The blue-haired woman began sending troops to the resistance member, two at a time, with herself in plain sight during the affair. At last, bringing up the rear, she approached the man and shook his hand, whispering quickly and quietly about their arrival and subsequent plans. Their informant barely spoke, not even giving a proper introduction before scurrying down the mineshaft and beckoning the others to follow.

The mineshaft was, put simply, a mineshaft. It was dark, dank, full of dirt, and altogether a rather unpleasant place to be. After walking for a short while, Sasori began feeling a slight tingle in his arms. With Konan and Deidara's warnings echoing in his head, Sasori prayed that whatever radiation he was getting from this area wouldn't kill him, or at least not make him glow in the dark. Trying not to think about it, the Akasuna kept pressing onward.

The group continued on in silence for another half hour (though to be fair, Sasori had no concept of time, and it could have been half a day for all he knew), when suddenly their ears were assaulted by a low, faint hum of machinery coming from the far end of the shaft. "Sounds like Konan's information was accurate," Deidara murmured.

"What the hell are they doing down here?" Hidan grumbled, having joined the duo on their walk.

As they went on, not only did the volume of the noise increase, but Sasori was able to make out faint pinpricks of light. Konan was on the edge now, urging complete silence amongst her troops and having them hug the wall as closely as possible as they went along. Yet even as she demanded caution and care, the Falk seemed to be increasing her pace. They'd only get one shot to acquire their information, and any time wasted could not be retrieved.

At last they rounded a corner and came to the source of the light, and possibly the noise. Strings of old lanterns were hung from the ceiling, a whitish-blue flame being emitted above a burning white crystal. The sight confused Sasori; namely, because along the walls, not but a few feet from the lanterns, he could see strings of electrical wires with attached lightbulbs. "You seeing what I'm seeing?" Hidan inquired, the noise now loud enough that they could talk at normal volumes without fear of being detected.

"Mhm."

"Dude, something's seriously fucking weird here. Look at the doors."

The 'doors' Hidan had pointed out could only be called doors because they met the most basic door criteria. They were large, rectangular in shape, and appeared to separate the main passage in the mine from the halls or rooms concealed behind them. However, it was apparent that they had been crudely put together (one appeared to be half a soda logo, as if cut from a billboard and salvaged for this purpose), and not a single one of them sat properly in their doorframes, which had been so terribly constructed that Sasori wagered he could fit his entire arm through the gap between the frame and the wall in some places. Some didn't even have a frame, and the Akasuna feared that touching the poorly-seated wood might cause it to fall inwards on the room it was meant to guard. All signs pointed to this location being fashioned in a hurry, without even having power to the lights yet.

Konan acted as though this was exactly what she had been expecting to find, and had the resistance members split up to search the rooms one at a time. Sasori went through two chambers, finding the first to be a room filled with dried beans, and the second to be a long, winding corridor with nothing in sight. He realized on some level that because he couldn't see anything in the chamber, it would be best to leave it, and continue his search. However, gut instinct told the Akasuna to keeping looking, and not move on until he was sure there was nothing to be discovered. Quickly, Sasori extracted a flashlight from his supplies and hurried down the corridor.

He knew he'd struck gold when the humming noise grew louder and louder, and finally the chamber abruptly ended in front of a large, steel door that had been installed with far more care and caution then the other doors in the main hall. A quick attempt to turn the handle informed him the door was locked. Sasori was not one to be deterred, however, and he soon noticed that as well as the door had been constructed, there were still gaps in the wall around its frame. He held the flashlight in his mouth, pulled out his pocketknife, and began chipping away at the material near the handle, until at last he was able to reach his arm through, grab the handle from the inside, and open the door.

As soon as he stepped inside, the puppeteer realized that the humming they'd been hearing was coming from several large generators in this room. The generators were all linked up to one gigantic device that looked like a supercomputer from old sci-fi movies, complete with a panel of hundreds of buttons and a screen larger than he was tall. He approached the machine, baffled by its size and the incredible amount of electricity it must need to run. The truly shocking thing was that Sasori could swear he'd seen this device before. The question was where he'd seen it. Normal people obviously didn't keep such things in their homes, and he was at least 90% this hadn't been on any military base or ship he'd visited. So where would he have seen it?

Baffled beyond all reasonable belief, the Akasuna began walking around the machine, hoping that a company logo or tag could give him a hint as to this behemoth's purpose. Unfortunately, it appeared that someone had taken great car to meticulously scrape off any name or trademark on the machine, wanting its purpose to be just as concealed as the device itself. Finally, Sasori came across a tiny metal plate on the back, declaring that this machine was property of NADSRaD. It wasn't much, but it did ring a bell in Sasori's head.

The Akasuna wasn't given any time to contemplate on the machine's familiarity, because at that moment his wristwatch began vibrating, indicating that they were out of time, and if he didn't want to be left stranded here, he needed to flee the area post haste. Cursing his luck, the redhead gave the machine one last look, and took off down the hall.

-

Fortunately for everyone involved, not a single member was left behind in the mines, and within an hour they were on their way back to the base. "All right, listen up," Konan ordered. "When we return 'ome, everyone is to be sprayed down in ze chemical showers to make sure your bones don't turn to jelly from ze radiation. After zis, you will be allowed a brief reprieve in your chambers before coming to my office and presenting your findings. Until zen, speak of nozing you 'ave seen. Zere is always ze chance of prying eyes and ears finding out what zey best not know, and we cannot afford such a security breach, oui?" No one objected to the woman's logic, and what followed was a relatively peaceful ride back to the base.

After disembarking and being sprayed down by a pink goo that smelled of pine and had the consistency of fondue, Sasori made his way back to his room and began contemplating on the machine he'd found. Obviously the puppeteer had no idea what the device was used for, as it had been turned off and looked different from any equipment he'd either used or seen used outside of motion pictures. That left him with an acronym to decrypt; the familiar yet unknown NADSRaD. "What could it mean," he muttered, pacing the room.

"What could what mean, un?"

"GAH!" Sasori jumped a good three feet in the air at the sound of Deidara's voice. "When did you get in here?!"

"Just a moment ago, un," the Falk replied, shutting the door as quietly as he'd opened it. "Did you find something in the mines?"

The Akasuna nodded, figuring that if there was anyone in the base he could trust, human or Falk, it would be Deidara. Throughout all his adventures, good or bad, Deidara had never done anything to put Sasori at risk, and at times like these, Sasori needed someone to confide in. "One of the tunnels I went in had a well-made door, guarding a room with generators and a huge…I don't know. Some kind of machine, like a huge computer."

"Well that's useful, un."

"Good to see you're picking up on sarcasm," Sasori grumbled as he resumed his pacing.

"What is sarcasm, un? Finding something is better than nothing."

"Yes, but if I can't tell Konan what that something is, it may as well be nothing!"

"…You humans make no sense whatsoever, un."

"Anyway," Sasori went on, "I don't know what the machine was, but there was a logo on the side with a company name: NADSRaD."

"Nadsrad?"

"N-A-D-S-R-A-D. I know I've heard of them, but I can't remember where or what it was about." Sasori groaned, rubbing his temples with both hands. "If I could just figure out who they are, it might help us discover what that thing does. But I can't figure out the damn acronym!"

"Well what could the letters stand for?"

"The A's probably Association or Area…R is Research, no doubt…S could be Study, or Surveillance…"

"What about the N, un?"

"National, New, North-" Sasori froze in mid-step, mouth agape as the pieces began clicking into place. "That's it, un."

"What is it?"

"NADSRaD: North Atlantic Deep Sea Research and Development," Sasori explained, trying to get the words out as quickly as he possibly could. "I remember now; about a year ago, they made a major breakthrough in underwater exploration. Some kind of new robot that could go deeper than other devices, with the capability of lasting much longer with less power under huge amounts of pressure than any of the previous models. They were going to be given an ungodly sum of money to see about putting a whole colony at the bottom of the ocean, miles down from anything we have set up right now. It made headlines in all the science journals for weeks."

"But why would one of their computers be in a mine, un?" Deidara inquired, confused beyond belief. "We're hundreds of miles away from anything you humans would call an ocean, un."

"I don't know," Sasori admitted. "But I'm sure that the NADSRaD who made that computer and the NADSRaD in charge of ocean studies are one and the same. Let's hope Konan can figure this out."


	16. Chapter 15

Konan paced her office with quick, agitated steps, lips set in a thin line. She'd been like this for the past five minutes, not speaking or looking at anything in particular, just pacing. At last she stopped and glanced over her desk to Deidara and Sasori, who were sitting nervously in the room's only chairs. "You are positive as to zat machine's origins?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Sasori confirmed.

The woman hissed something under her breath, shaking her head and straightening her beret. "Well zis is perfect. We wanted answers to why zey are mining again, and all we find is zis, zis…"

"NADSRaD computer," Sasori supplemented.

"Oui. And if what you say about zat machine is true, zen we 'ave yet anozer pickle on ze table! Zere isn't an ocean for miles around zat cave, of zat I am sure!"

"So what does it mean, un?" Deidara asked nervously.

"I cannot tell you wiz any certainty," Konan admitted. However, when she noticed the duo's disappointment, she smiled ever so slightly and clicked at them in a disapproving manner. "Do not be looking so sad, monsieurs. Not knowing for sure does not mean I do not 'ave my zeories."

"What kind of theories?"

"Just one, but zere is two parts to it. First, zat since zere is no ocean around ze mine, whoever owns ze computer is merely, 'ow you say, storing it zere for safety-keeping. Which would mean zat secondly, if zey want to use it…"

"They'll have to move it somewhere," Sasori finished, heart leaping at the thought.

"Oui," Konan confirmed. "I would guess zat ze machine was recently smuggled onto Verden by someone, and stored in ze cave to test it out and see zat all was in working order. Once zey 'ave found zis to be ze case, it shall be moved to ze desired location."

"But what if it's broken, un? Then there'd be no need to move it out of the cave," Deidara thoughtfully reminded her.

"Ah, zat is where you are wrong, mon cher," Konan disagreed as the slight smile on her face grew. "If you buy a defective good, you always return it for a refund, oui?"

"Oui," the blond agreed.

"So, if somezing is amiss wiz ze computer, zen ze buyers will no doubt demand zeir money back, and ze disposal of ze defective machine."

"Meaning that the smugglers would have to pick the computer back up," Sasori finished.

"Oui. So eizer way, we get ze people needing the computer, or ze smugglers bringing illegal 'uman technology onto my planet."

"What's the plan?" Sasori inquired, eager for action now that he knew there was a chance at least one of their mysteries could be solved.

"For once in our measly lives, ze Verden Underground Movement 'as ze element of surprise on our side," Konan explained as she extracted a chart from beneath her desk and spread it out for her companions to see. "We will need to set up a stakeout to see when ze machine is moved, who moves it, and where it is being taken. Our agents already in ze mine should be more zan enough to take care of zis; for now, we need to stay put and wait for ze enemy to make zeir move."

"So hurry up and wait," the Akasuna groaned, sinking back down in his chair.

"In a manner of speaking." Saddened by her comrades' despair, Konan walked around her desk and clasped one of Sasori's hands between her own. "Monsieur Sasori, I must zank you for zis. Wizout you, VUM never would 'ave gotten zis lead, and we would still be at square one, grasping for plans and enemies zat might not even be zere."

"Erm, thank you," Sasori answered, feeling slightly embarrassed by the commander's gratitude. He'd done nothing more than have a lucky find, and stumble upon a machine built by a company he only knew about because of a headline he'd read recently. Not exactly hero's work, no matter how you looked at it.

"Your are more zan welcome," Konan replied, releasing his hand as she refocused on her map. "But I must ask a favor of you two."

"What is it?"

"Zis information must not leave my office," Konan stated gravely. "I trust ze men zat were on our ship, but not everyone in zis camp 'as ze same face zey show to you in public, if you are understanding me."

"You think there's a spy, un?" Deidara queried, eyebrows raised at the thought.

"No, but I do not 'ave good reason to doubt such a zing," Konan admitted. "Ze less people who know about zis for now, ze better our chances are of gaining ze upper 'and on our foes."

"Is there anything else we can do?" Sasori asked, hoping that there was something, anything they could help with to hurry this process along.

"If you see Pein, kindly tell 'im to come 'ere immediately," Konan suggested. "I will need 'im for ze planning."

"Got it." With that, Sasori and Deidara exited Konan's office, closing the door behind them. "Well, I guess that went all right," Sasori offered.

"It doesn't help us find Itachi, but it boosted Konan's trust in us," Deidara acknowledged. "She's taking you at your word, un. That's a huge risk for her, un."

"It's only because you backed me up," Sasori countered.

"I've spent the last four years on a slave ship before sneaking onto a human airship," Deidara shot back. "Not exactly trustworthy, un."

"I trust you," Sasori stated.

Deidara simply rolled his eyes at the comment. "That's because I owe you my life, un. Until I pay back that debt, nothing's going to happen to you. But for now, can we get some dinner? My stomach's going to implode or explode, I dunno which, un."

"Sure thing. Pein's probably down in the mess already. And maybe we'll see Tobi or Hidan." Sasori had yet to see his friends since their return from the assignment, and was eager to catch up with his comrades, even if he'd have to do a bit of skirting around the truth when it came to telling them about how his part of the mission had played out.

Before the two could set out for the mess, though, a loud string of swearing made its way down the hall. The two refugees turned to see Hidan shuffling towards them, with Kakuzu close behind. "Hey Hidan, un."

"Shut the hell up, blondie," Hidan snapped.

"Yeesh, what crawled into your bunk and died?" Sasori asked. Even for Hidan, that level of unprovoked rudeness was unusual.

"I wish this dumbass would crawl into a bunk and die," Hidan growled, jerking his thumb towards Kakuzu. "I can't go to my room, I can't go to the mess, I can't even go to the Jashin-damned bathroom without him following me! Shoo, damnit, shoo!"

The Falk in question refused to shoo.

"Hidan, did you ever consider being nice to him? He's only following you around because you won't shut up for five seconds about wanting to destroy everything." Sasori then turned his attention to Kakuzu and gave the man an apologetic look. "Please forgive him; he's an idiot."

"Hey!"

Kakuzu shrugged in the slow, awkward manner Falks had for shrugging, indicating it was more of a learned gesture than something that was natural on humans.

"So, what did Konan want?" Hidan asked. "Anything to help us get the hell off this planet?"

"Nothing," Sasori lied. "It sounds like the search mission was a bust."

"Tch, figures." At the Jashinist's statement, Kakuzu shook his head. "Oh come on, you know that mission was a load of bullshit!" Kakuzu cocked his head. "Well no I can't think of a better plan, but that doesn't mean her idea wasn't fucking stupid!" A raised brow. "Fine, we'll get dinner and I'll shut up about it." Hidan looked back to Sasori, who by now was thoroughly confused. "See what I have to put up with?"

"Um…yes?"

"I knew you'd understand. Well, see you assholes later. Let me know if the HBIC has any more brilliant plans."

"Danna, are you sure humans can't read minds, un?" Deidara queried as Hidan walked off with Kakuzu in tow.

"Yes, but I'm beginning to think Hidan is an exception."

-mm-

"NADSRaD?" Kisame asked incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me."

"If only," Konan sighed. "Do you know anyzing about what zey and/or zeir machines are doing on my planet?"

"I wish I could help you, but no," Kisame sadly answered. "Their contract with the military was cut a few weeks before they finished that computer Sasori found. Much as I hate to admit it, armed forces don't have much use for machines that don't kill people."

"But why would anyone on Verden 'ave a use for it zen?" Konan shook her head; until their stakeout panned out, they wouldn't get any answers. Speaking of which… "Kisame, I'm going to need to divert most of our forces to figuring out what zat computer is for. Which means-"

"That my search for Itachi has to be put on hold," Kisame stated, visibly deflating at the conclusion.

"Monsieur fishy, if zere was any way-"

"It's ok Konan; you're doing what you have to. I'd do the same thing in your place. Hell, I've had to do the same thing in your place."

"I promise you, we will find out what 'appened to your friend," Konan vowed. "But it will 'ave to be after we settle zis matter."

"Thank you Konan. When this war is over, I hope we can be friends."

"It would be my honor, monsieur fishy. Now zen; interested in assisting me in setting up zis operation?"

Kisame was standing beside her in an instant, eyes glued to his map. "How many men are we working with?"

Konan smiled and began going over the details of their operation with Kisame. Hopefully with the two commanders working together, they could craft a foolproof operation and get some answers to their questions.


	17. Chapter 16

Konan drummed her fingers on her desk, frowning as she lazily turned the pages in her report. The file may have been six pages long, even after decryption, but the entire thing could have been summed up in three words: no movement yet. Growling as she reached the last page, the Falk hurled the report across the room, watching as the file collided with the wall and sent papers flying everywhere. "Sacrebleu."

The woman's sulking was interrupted by Pein entering the room, looking first to his leader and then to the poor, abused file now lying on the floor. "_Things are not going well at the mine?_" he clicked.

"_Not even a hint of movement_," Konan snipped. "_We have agents on the lookout around the clock, we've bugged their communication lines right down to the sticky notes on their billboards, we've done everything but there is nothing to show for it!"_

"_Patience dear_," Pein begged. _"That human's find was a huge break for us. We need only wait a little longer for answers. In the meantime, how are our fellow VUM branches doing?"_

Konan's frowned deepened at the inquiry. _"That is another problem, my dear."_

"_Something happened?"_

"_Nothing too out of the ordinary. It's just…the front on the Western Highlands hasn't reported to me in nearly three days."_

"_They're only required to make reports once a month though,"_ Pein reminded his commander.

"_Yes, but that new girl they have working communications is so paranoid about anything happening to her unit that she calls in nearly every day. I've been telling her for months now that such frequency isn't necessary, but…"_

Pein felt a hint of unease blossom in his stomach. Falks, like humans, were notorious for having difficulties changing their ways (unless humans were involved, supposedly; it had been years since he'd read that human excuse for a science journal). Still, he reminded himself, a few days were nothing to worry about. Hell, their own communication lines had been down for nearly a week when a six legged buggle-whopper had chewed through their wires to nibble the copper underneath. _"I see no cause for alarm now. But perhaps if we fail to hear from them in a week, we can send a group to investigate?"_

"_That is the plan,"_ Konan confirmed. _"But for now, I could use a hot bath and nice dinner."_

"_Care for company?" _

The inquiry made Konan smile for the first time all day. "With you? Of course."

-mm-

"Surely Sasori is joking," Tobi stated.

"No, I'm serious!" the redhead asserted. "He didn't say anything, but Hidan acted like they were having a conversation. Back me up on this, Deidara."

"But if I back you up, you'll be too far away from the table to eat, un."

"Deidara, it's a figure of- oh, never mind. Just eat your…whatever the hell this is." Currently the trio of Sasori, Deidara, and Tobi were in the mess tent, eating lunch. Rations in the camp were running low, due to their supply drop being delayed by inclement weather, and as a result, the camp cooks were getting rather creative with whatever was left.

"Good thing they didn't serve too much," Tobi thoughtfully said. "Tobi lost his appetite after the first couple of bites."

"Not like you can eat much anyway," Sasori noted, looking to Tobi's wrist, which was currently in a splint. "What happened?"

"Oh! Well, Tobi was assigned to desk work, but Tobi's wrist got sore, so now Tobi has to use his left hand for everything." Sasori had a distinct feeling that the soldier was pouting behind the mask that he was now allowed to wear on the base. "It sucks."

"At least you've been given a job," Deidara griped as he choked down his food. He and Sasori, due to their involvement with the NADSRaD computer, had been told to lay low and do as little with the other members of the base as possible, lest they accidentally leak pertinent details to spies, real or imaginary. "Danna and I are still on lockdown like Hidan, un."

"Where is Hidan?" Tobi wondered. "Shouldn't he be suffering here too?"

"Don't know, don't care."

-meanwhile, in the dorms-

Hidan was sitting on his bed, ruffling through the bag containing what few belongings he'd managed to salvage from his room before the evacuation that destroyed the human's ship. A plate of food sat nearby, waiting to be eaten by him. The Jashinist knew that if he didn't get to the food soon that it was sure too completely cool off, and at this point, he wasn't sure if his meal would taste better hot or cold. For Jashin's sake, what kind of food combo turned your dish purple-orange?

At last the male grabbed what he had been seeking and extracted it from the sack, holding his prize up triumphantly: a bottle of ketchup. "Finally, maybe I can make this shit edible."

A shuffling noise beside him caused Hidan to turn, but not before hiding his ketchup against his chest. The noise had come from none other than Kakuzu, who had also taken his meal back to their shared room, since leaving Hidan alone for too long was out of the question. Upon realizing who it was, Hidan humph'ed and poured a large dollop of ketchup on top of his food. The first bite confirmed that, while he was still eating one star cuisine, the red sauce helped it go down without gagging. Speaking of…

Kakuzu had begun coughing, bowing forward and thumping his chest as the first bite went down. Hidan was about to make a rude comment on a tough guy like Kakuzu not being able to handle a little cafeteria food, when he noticed the Falk's face.

In order to eat his dinner, Kakuzu had removed the lower portion of his mask, exposing tanned skin for the world to see. What had caught Hidan's attention, though, were long, jagged scars running down Kakuzu's cheeks, scooping down to his neck and twisting around the right side of a mangled lump in the middle of his throat that had probably been a functioning Adam's apple at one point. Hidan had previously noticed minor scrapes and scars on the Falk's hands; now he had to wonder exactly how many more scars were being covered up by his guard's clothing.

As fate would have it, Kakuzu chose that moment to look up from his meal to Hidan and notice the Jashinist was staring at him. A moment of realization hit Kakuzu, before his expression hardened and he looked away. He knew that look all too well; both Falks and humans were subject to staring at a freak like him.

Hidan didn't need his newly acquired skills at reading Kakuzu's expression to understand what had just happened, and for the first time in a long while felt like an ass. Sure, the Falk was a major pain in his ass, and moreover a Falk, his sworn enemy…but there was never a good excuse to stare at a person's scars, particularly if the person in question was sensitive about them.

The Jashinist now had two options: either go back to his dinner and pretend this never happened, or apologize. The first option was out of the question; even he wasn't that big of a jerk on his worst day. But Hidan had a feeling that if he just said, "I'm sorry," to Kakuzu, it would sound forced or expected, and thus still leave an awkward air between the two. Surely there was a way out of this.

Kakuzu, meanwhile, was continuing to poke and nibble his food, looking increasingly sick with each additional bite he forced down. He seemed bound and determined to ignore Hidan for the duration of his meal, no matter how foul his food might be. In fact, he almost didn't look up when he heard the zealot say, "Here," until a mysterious bright red bottle was shoved in his face.

Kakuzu reflexively grabbed the bottle, looking it over before glancing up to a somewhat sheepish Hidan. "It's ketchup," the Jashinist muttered, shifting his weight from side to side in an uneasy manner. "Dump it on that shit to make it taste better."

The Falk gave the human an odd look, somewhat confused by Hidan's actions. They'd be stuck eating this garbage for at least another week, so why bother to share this mysterious sauce with him? Unless…was Hidan attempting to apologize?

"Look, if you don't want it, just give the damn thing back," Hidan growled, holding his hand out expectantly.

Deciding to give the little idiot the benefit of the doubt, Kakuzu squeezed a small pool of ketchup onto his plate, dunking a small bite of food into it before eating. His eyes widened ever so slightly at the taste, chewing for a few moments before swallowing, this time without gagging. Immediately the Falk poured out a little more, this time directly onto the food, and went back to eating.

"Better, right?" Hidan asked as he retrieved the bottle. "Just don't tell anyone else, or we're gonna have to go back to eating that shit plain." Kakuzu gave the Jashinist a flat look and pointed to his throat, as if to ask who he was going to tell if he had no voice. Hidan was a bit worried he'd made another misstep, but there was no look of anger or malice on Kakuzu's face. Now that Hidan was in on his little secret and had tried to make up for his earlier blunder, the Falk seemed willing to give charge a little more leeway. "C'mon, you're telling me no one else can read your body language like me?" A shake of the head. "Seriously? Well damn." Kakuzu merely rolled his eyes at Hidan's swearing and went back to his dinner, not enthusiastic but not dreading the food.

And as the two sat together, dining in silence with the ketchup resting nearby in case it was needed again, for the first time since they'd been forced to stay together, neither party felt any sort of animosity towards the other.


	18. Chapter 17

"You wanted to see me, Konan?" Kisame asked, stepping into the woman's office. He received a message earlier in the day saying that Konan needed to see him as soon as he was free, and not much else. Clearly something was up, and it was something that Konan didn't want the public to hear about just yet.

The blue-haired woman looked up from her work, saw that it was Kisame standing in the door and nodded to him, motioning for him to take a seat at her desk. "I 'ave an assignment in two days, and wanted to take a few of your men wiz me."

"What is it?"

Konan answered by spreading a large map over her desk and pointing to a small forest north of them. "Zere is a group of VUM fighters staying in zis location. But zey 'ave been out of communication for a good week now! I was going to give zem a bit more time to get in touch; zings 'appen in ze field zat no one can predict in ze office…"

"But something made you change your mind," Kisame finished.

His suspicions were confirmed by a stern nod. "Yesterday was ze day all supply orders are to be sent to 'eadquarters," Konan explained. "To hide our numbers, we typically 'ave three or so outposts send in all ze orders. Zis particular station's order is supposed to go zrough me, but it never came. And considering ze last order was taken over six monzs ago, zey should be running out of everyzing but ze…'ow you say…kitchen sinks!"

"That doesn't sound good," Kisame acknowledged with a frown. "So what are we going to do?"

"A small group including myself and you, monsieur fishy, will go and investigate to see why in ze name of all your gods and mine zis outpost 'as been out of touch wiz ze rest of us!" Konan declared with a flourish of her hands. "Naturally, I want zis kept under ze table-"

"You mean under wraps?"

"Tables, wraps, ze meaning is understood," The VUM commander dismissively replied. "Ze point is, you get one rumor going in zis place zat anozer of our branches is under attack, and suddenly everyone is running around in a panic, saying we'll be next or zat zey need to go home and stay wiz zeir mommies and cry like little babies-"

"Right, right, no one that doesn't go on this assignment hears about it," Kisame agreed. Yeesh, once you got the woman going, it was hard to get her to stop.

"Good. If I may be so bold, I'd like monsieur Sasori to come along, seeing as it was 'is good eyes zat found us our only clue on ze last outing."

"Deidara will want to come along too, if Sasori goes," Kisame warned.

"I figured as much. Also, zat mosieur loudmouth is a tad more bearable if 'e comes along on zese assignments, so I'll also request 'im. Kakuzu will 'ave to come as well, and ze rest of ze spots shall be filled by my men, you, and moi."

"Konan, I need to know something before we go on this mission."

"Oui?"

"Is this…let's just suppose something went wrong at their camp. Not, 'oh, our wires got cut and we haven't fixed them yet' wrong, but an actual disaster with injuries. Are you going to change our expedition to a rescue mission?"

Konan sighed and stared glumly down at the map before her. "I don't know. Our camp is already over-burdened wiz your men, along with ze new recruits we took in before your arrival. If we were to try and bring any of zose members back, our supplies wouldn't 'old until ze next shipment, even if we rationed the tiniest portions possible."

"Let's hope there's no need to rescue anyone then," Kisame muttered.

-mm-

"Hey, Sasori?" a voice whispered in his ear.

"Yeah Hidan?" the Akasuna whispered back.

"We're just supposed to be checking on this camp's communication line, right?"

"That's what Konan said."

"Then why the hell are they taking so many of us? And why are we all armed, flying in a big-ass airship like this, with Konan and Kisame? Something's not right here-"

Hidan's inquiry was stopped by Kakuzu jabbing him in the ribs, and then ever so slightly jerking his head towards the other side of the cargo bay. Sasori immediately caught what the Falk was trying to point out; Kisame had seen them talking, and he didn't look too terribly happy. Immediately Sasori averted his gaze, briefly wondering if his commander was capable of reading lips and had seen what he and Hidan were discussing. "Ass," Hidan grumbled, glaring at Kakuzu. "I think you bruised my ribs."

"Sasori danna, he's right," Deidara whispered, noticing that Kisame had looked away and gone back to talking with Konan. "The details of this assignment seem off, un."

"It's probably just a precaution," Sasori insisted, though in truth he was just as unnerved as his counterparts. He could understand the need to send more than one person into the field at a time, but why not just take one of the base's helicopters? Why was it necessary to use this reinforced stealth plane and arm its passengers so thoroughly? Not to mention that the details given to them were lacking, at best.

The redhead wasn't given much longer to worry about his predicament, though; roughly five minutes later, the airship had touched down and the soldiers were preparing to disembark. Konan's men went first (if there were enemies nearby, Falks were much better at absorbing shots and punches than humans), and after clearing the area helped the others exit the ship and examine their surroundings.

It was amazing how a few hours of flight could completely warp the scenery. The trees around here were nowhere near as thick and lush as they'd been in the VUM's jungle base, and bore an eerie resemblance to the trees Sasori knew back on Earth. Furthermore, the air seemed much drier here; only later did Sasori realize that the humidity was normal in this area, and he'd simply grown used to stewing in the steamy weather of the jungle. Heck, the air smelled better here too; almost sweet, really. As he looked around, Sasori couldn't help but wonder what kinds of animals lived here; space squirrels, maybe? He'd yet to see anything on this planet besides Falks that had less than six legs…and it was then that a chilling realization hit Sasori.

He couldn't hear anything. No birds chirping, no lizards croaking or clicking, not even the sound of branches ruffling in the trees. It was dead silent. Sasori immediately regretted that particular choice of words. "Deidara-"

"You noticed it too, didn't you, un?" the blond whispered, not for fear of being overheard but rather because it seemed wrong for their voices to break such an oppressive silence.

The others soon picked up on what had set the blond and redhead on edge, the tension mounting in the group as a result. Konan, to her credit, did not let these unusual circumstances get to her, but rather moved to the front of the group and began marching in the direction of the VUM camp. "Let's make zis quick," she ordered, wincing at how her voice echoed through the air. "Please," she added in a quieter voice, "zere is somezing very not right 'ere."

The small band of fighters proceeded through the forest, listening desperately for any kind of sound, Falk or beast, but all was in vain. To add an extra layer of creepy to this chilling scenario, all the plants around them seemed to be in perfect health. Sasori felt like he'd walked onto the set of one of those slashes films he'd used to watch as a kid back on Earth, and now they were just waiting for the axe-murderer to pop out and slice them to bits. Unconsciously he moved closer to Deidara and Hidan, who likewise huddled near the Akasuna, adrenaline keeping two of them on high alert. Finally, they made it to the camp.

The first sign that something was amiss had come several minutes earlier, when they'd failed to encounter anyone on patrol. According to Konan, all VUM bases were to be guarded by strict patrols circling the base by a minimum range of half a mile, in order to ensure that the camps could be evacuated in the event of a sneak attack. However, Konan's group had been able to make it all the way to the gates of this settlement, and nary a peep had been heard from anywhere. "Kisame, you take your soldiers, I'll take mine," Konan ordered once they entered the base. "Spread out and see if you can find anyone."

"Maybe this is some kind of sick surprise party," Hidan muttered.

"Well I am not laughing. Quickly, go!"

Sasori, having previously stumbled upon important information merely by walking around and looking hard enough, agreed with Kisame's suggestion that they stick together and comb the buildings one by one. First place to check? The base's hangar.

"So what the hell are we looking for?" Hidan asked as Kisame forced the lock on the hangar's door.

"Anything that could explain why it feels like we've stepped into a horror movie," the shark growled as the metal lock finally gave way under him. "Seriously, I haven't gotten the creeps like this in a long time." Opening the door, he ushered the others inside, and soon the group was spread out seeking answers in every possible nook and cranny.

The search, unfortunately, yielded no immediate results for anyone. All the tools were stacked in toolboxes or hanging on the walls; none of the vehicles appeared to have been damaged; and both the power and phone lines in the office were fully functional. If anything had happened to the rebels here, it hadn't occurred while they were working on any ships or vehicles. "Damn, nothing," Hidan cursed, kicking an innocent hubcap in his frustration.

"Calm down," Sasori ordered, flipping through a discarded notebook lying on a workbench to see if it might hold any clues for them. "We just have to keep looking."

"We should've found something by now, un," Deidara murmured. "This isn't right, un."

"Speaking of not right, why does it smell so sweet in here?" Sasori pondered. "I would expect a hangar to smell like oil and grease, but it doesn't."

"No way, I thought that was just me smelling that," Hidan exclaimed. "I figured maybe it was some of that crappy new detergent we got in the last supply shipment, but it hasn't gone away since we landed."

Deidara was shooting both men a confused look. "What are you talking about, un?"

"What do you mean, what are we talking about?" Hidan demanded. "C'mon, don't tell me your super-advanced Falk senses or whatever can't smell this? It's like a beauty shop!"

"Sorry, un."

"Kakuzu, back me up on this!" But the scarred man just gave Hidan an equally confused look, indicating that whatever this mysterious scent was, he couldn't pick it up either. "Oh stop being such a…such a…ow…"

"Hidan?" Sasori asked, surprised at his friend's sudden shift.

Hidan seemed not to hear his name being called; instead, he clutched his head in his hands, moaning softly. He stumbled backwards, swaying in place as he doubled over. "What the…?"

"Hidan-" Sasori began to move towards his friend, when all of a sudden his vision went double. He stopped, blinking a few times to see if that helped any, but to no avail. He balance suddenly went out, sending him stumbling a few steps forward. Just like Hidan, he began to crumple in on himself. _"What's going on?"_

"Danna?"

"Dei…" Sasori swayed once and fell to the ground, with Hidan collapsing immediately afterwards. And then there was screaming, and someone picking him up and carrying him over a shoulder, and he was gone.

-mm-

Lights and colors swam before Sasori's vision. They warped and twisted into all manners of fantastic shapes and sizes, lurching forward and darting back, performing impossible feats with zero efforts, and no repeat performances. Sounds, maybe even words occasionally accompanied the performances, but the noise seemed far off, underwater, and in a different language, so Sasori paid it no mind. If he'd been conscious, he might've found the whole thing to be incredibly artistic. How long he stayed like this, the Akasuna couldn't say; but at last, he was ripped away from his dreams of magical colors and mystery sounds, and dumped back into the real world. His place of arrival? A pair of eyes slowly cracked open revealed it to be a bed in the medical tent, with Deidara sitting by his side. "Nnngh…"

That tiny, pathetic sound sent Deidara into a frenzy. First he looked to Sasori, to see if the Akasuna had indeed awoken; and after his suspicions had been confirmed, he ran out of the room yelling for a nurse in a rush of clicks and hisses that made Sasori's head threaten to split open. Kami, who had drilled a hole through his brain?

Deidara was back in a heartbeat, though, this time bearing a glass of water in his hands. "Danna, you need to sit up and drink this, un."

"Ah, my head…"

"Yeah, the doctor said you'd have a bad headache-oh! I'm being too loud, aren't I?"

"I think my heartbeat's too loud," Sasori groaned, gradually forcing himself into an upright position so he could accept the offered water.

"Sorry, un. It's just, after you collapsed-"

And suddenly the memory of the hangar burst forth in Sasori's mind, temporarily pushing aside his pity party long enough to worry about his fellow soldiers. "The mission! What happened to the others?"

"You and Hidan both collapsed around the same time, un," Deidara explained as quietly as he could, motioning for Sasori to drink the water. "Kakuzu grabbed you both and ran out of there; I got Kisame and told him what was going on, un. Good thing too; he was starting to look sick like you guys, un."

"But what happened to us?" Sasori pressed.

"We loaded everyone back on the ship as soon as Konan knew what happened, un. On the way back…you two almost stopped breathing, un." Sasori felt something knot in his stomach; to think he'd been that close to death. "Once we got back, Konan sent another team back to the camp, but with protective gear, un. The whole place was covered in…I think you call it neurotoxin. I killed anything that breathes it in for too long, and the scent's undetectable by Falks, un. In a sick way, we were lucky to have you and Hidan with us."

"Canaries in the coal mine," Sasori whispered as he finished his water.

"Un?"

"For a long time, humans would mine deep into the Earth for coal," Sasori explained, "and sometimes, they'd hit a pocket of deadly gas and not know it until it was too late. So they'd put little birds called canaries in cages and take them into the mine. If the canaries got sick or died, then that meant the area would be toxic to humans until they could clear the gas. So in a way, we were your canaries this time."

"You shouldn't smile when you say stuff like that, Sasori danna," Deidara chastised. "You almost died before I could repay you for saving me, un."

"Don't be so upset. If anything, I owe you for getting Hidan and I out of there."

"But you're the ones who detected the poison, so that breaks even, un," Deidara pouted.

Sasori shook his head and decided to change the subject. "That's why we couldn't find any Falks or animals, isn't it? They were all dead, weren't they?"

Deidara nodded, face expressionless. "Whoever attacked them did it at night. The second team found them in their bunks, sleeping. They'd been there for a week, and even without animals around, they'd still decayed, so…" Deidara didn't need to say anything more.

"How's Hidan?" Sasori inquired, eager to change the subject. Thinking about all those innocent people, killed in bed and left to rot made his stomach churn.

"He's fine, un. Woke up a while ago with a killer headache too, but Kakuzu's taking care of him." At this point, Deidara finally noticed that Sasori had finished his beverage. "I'll get you another glass of water, un."

"Thanks," the Akasuna muttered, watching the blonde exit the room. Looking down to his lap, the redhead began turning over this most recent tragedy in his head. There could only be one explanation behind the destruction of an entire Falk base; human biological warfare. But why had they attacked a rebel base? The rebels were working to stop both the humans and the Falks from fighting. It would've made more sense to test this on the battlefield. And that was another thing; most of the war's combat had occurred in space battles, where neurotoxin would be almost completely useless. So why manufacture the stuff in the first place, and then not even use it on the right enemies?

The redhead sighed and sank down into his bed. He'd need to talk with Konan and Kisame about this. But not until his head stopped pounding.


	19. Chapter 18

Konan was, to say the very least, not happy about the most recent mission fiasco. An entire unit of the Verden Underground Movement was completely wiped out, with no trace left behind by those responsible for the massacre. On top of that, her own men had noticed several humans being rushed to the medical center after the mission, and a few had gone on the next assignment to the decimated rebel camp. There was talk of dissention in the ranks, and Konan knew she was in a very precarious position right now. Unless they were to get a lead on who had attacked their fellow rebels (and soon) the Falk might not have any troops left to lead. Still, the woman had to be thankful that she was alive right now. Thank goodness human wiring was so sensitive, at least in this situation. At the very least, her Falks had gained a bit of respect (or at least gratitude) towards the "canaries in the coal mine" as she'd heard Sasori say. Speaking of mines…

The woman closed a manila envelope and set it aside, moving to grab another one from a nearby mountain of a stack and opened it. That machine Sasori had found in the mine still hadn't been moved, and her top experts (read: Pein) had no clue as to its intended purpose. "Zis is wonderful," the blue-haired female grumbled. "We are 'aving few of ze pieces wiz no idea of what ze puzzle looks like, and no one seems to know where ze rest of zose pieces went. Sacrebleu." Sighing, Konan stood and stretched. A walk around the complex sounded great right now. Besides, now that the rebels were growing wary of fighting when there was a chance they could be killed in their sleep, the presence of a strong leader was needed more than ever.

-mm-

"Now try to be as specific as possible, monsieur. What exactly did ze poison smell like?"

"Very sweet," Sasori explained in an exasperated manner. He'd been poked and prodded by doctors all day, and now a researcher of Konan had come to see him, asking the redhead to explain the signs and symptoms of the neurotoxin in as fine detail as he could manage. "Not bitter, not tangy, just sweet."

"Sweet how? Like sugar, or flowers?"

"No…well, almost…" Sasori bit his lip, trying to come up with the right words to describe the scent. It was a smell that he had never experienced before; yet at the same time, it seemed almost familiar to him. "It was almost fruity, like a peach."

"And 'ow do peaches smell?"

"Like…peaches?"

The researcher shook his head and clicked something under his breath, making Deidara hiss and glare the man down. That was another thing contributing to Sasori's exhaustion; the blond had absolutely refused to leave his side for the last two days, determined that he would come to the redhead's aid in case the poison caused a delayed reaction.

"Very well zen," the researcher sighed, at last closing his notebook, "we shall see about training a few of our animals to sniff out ze toxin. Despite 'aving very little to work wiz-"

"If you're done, beat it," Deidara ordered. "Sasori needs his rest, un."

"Now listen here," the researcher began. Fortunately for both Deidara and Sasori, the man never got around to chastising them, because at that exact moment Konan and Kisame burst into the room.

"Deidara and monsieur Saso-oh, pardon moi," Konan apologized, "I was led to believe ze questioning 'ad concluded some time ago."

"Ze apology should rest wiz me, commander," the researcher replied, "I was just on my way out. Please don't let my presence be a bozer to you." And with that, he was gone.

"A good man, zat Dr. Lumiére is," Konan noted. "But I am afraid zis is somezing we should discuss wizout 'is presence."

"What is it?" Sasori asked. "And Kisame, why are you here?"

Kisame shrugged at his subordinate. "Good questions, but Konan won't give me an answer to either of them."

"Zat is because ze walls in zis place zat do not 'ave eyes most assuredly 'ave ears, as you say, and zis is top secret until furzer notice. Kisame, if you would be so kind as to lock ze door. And Deidara, please close ze air vents. We are not going to be taking any chances." Konan waited patiently until her orders had been followed, and then rearranged the men so they were sitting in a circle on Sasori's bed. "Now zen. I 'ave just received intelligence from one of our neighboring branches in regards to Itachi's whereabouts." Kisame sucked in a sharp breath, but otherwise retained his calm outward demeanor. "It's old, but ze data shows where and to whom Itachi's group was sold to when they were brought back to Verden. Zey ended up wiz a dealer by ze name of Zabuza, and let me tell you, zat monster is right up zere wiz Orochimaru on ze list of people I'd like to see in ze bottom of a grave."

"But that was years ago," Kisame lamented. "There's no way he still has Itachi after all that time!"

"Records!" Konan snapped, whapping the shark on the head with her files. "Records, monsieur fishy, is somezing 'e will most assuredly still 'ave, no matter 'ow much time passes! We can use zose to track down Itachi and ze rest of 'is men, and zere will be 'appy endings for everyone!"

"Sounds great, un," Deidara stated. "But why are we keeping it quiet, un?"

"In ze last monz, ze Verden Underground Movement found an inexplicable secret base deep in a toxic mineshaft, and lost an entire branch to chemical warfare," Konan muttered darkly. "We are no closer to finding out who is responsible for zese atrocities now zan we were when zey first occurred, and faith in my leadership skills is falling quite fast. No one in VUM approves of ze slave trade, and would love to see zis man be brought to 'is knees. But if we simply rush off to stop zis monster for no reason ozer zan as a favor to you 'umans, it looks like I'm avoiding my investigations, or possibly even losing 'ope of finding any answers. Zis victory is needed, but only if painted as somezing the entirety of VUM benefits from. Zere is ze fly in my soup, waiter."

"So you need us to help you brainstorm an angle for this," Sasori concluded.

"I am not sure what storms in brains 'ave to do wiz anyzing, but I do need your aid in coming up wiz explanations for zis."

"We can't say that Zabuza had anything to do with either the mine or the poisoning," reasoned Sasori, "because when it's revealed that he didn't help in either plot, it'll make Konan's informants seem unreliable."

"Has he ever gone after a VUM member?" Kisame inquired. "Maybe we could justify an attack if he provoked us first."

"Zabuza is many zings, but stupid enough to provoke Falks wiz guns is not one of zem," Konan sadly answered. "Ze bastard 'as always been good about giving my men a wide berz, and zat's ze only good zing about 'im."

"Maybe we're looking at this from the wrong angle, un," Deidara thoughtfully began. "There's money in slavery, yeah, but if you monopolize your income like that, it only takes a few messed up shipments to bring the whole operation down and send you to the streets, un. Does he deal in anything else, un?"

Konan opened her file and spread them out for all to see, blue eyes scanning the reports and photocopied receipts she'd been given. "Zabuza deals wiz drugs on occasion, but seems to find ze business distasteful, since most of 'is customers end up dead in ze long run. Zere are also a few records of shipped furnishings (bastard probably stole those antiques from ze battlefields when ze fighting moved on), but nozing really-"

"Wait a minute," Deidara interrupted, pulling one of the pages towards him. "Look at these three receipts, un. He ordered two hundred gallons of high grade coolant each time, un."

"Why would he-sacrébleu. Monsieur fishy, do you know what zis means?"

"I think so, but I really hope I'm wrong."

"Good to hear that someone knows. Now would you mind enlightening me?" Sasori asked, completely lost by this point.

"Most of ze ground weapons used by Falkian ground troops at ze beginning of ze war were high-powered plasma rifles, and zey packed quite a punch, as you like to say. Ze main drawback to zem, unfortunately, was zat zey had a tendency to overheat if you attempted to use zem intensely for more zan a few 'ours at a time," Konan explained. "Zey needed to be cooled down constantly, and drained coolant like a vergerbeast drinks water. Eventually we made newer weapons wiz better internal cooling, and ze older models were supposedly scrapped so as to be made unusable to anyone ever again."

"But there was a slight problem in the official number of decommissioned guns," Kisame went on. "Our intelligence suggested that there were at least twelve thousand more rifles made than were reported to be dismantled, but we could never be sure of what happened to them, since they never showed up in use by either the Falks we fought, or rogue bandits here on Verden."

The pieces were coming together in Sasori's mind now. "So you're suggesting that this Zabuza guy somehow got a hold of some or all of those guns and has been shipping them to someone else, but he's doing it a few at a time because they require so much coolant that doing it all at once would immediately set off alarm bells in anyone who tracked his purchasing receipts."

"Zese are just ze receipts we were able to find," Konan went on. "Who knows 'ow many guns 'e managed to ship off ze record! I cannot believe no one noticed zis before!"

"Look on the bright side," Sasori weakly offered. "This seems like a pretty good reason to go after the guy, if he's selling super strong weapons to some unknown power."

"Oui," Konan agreed. "But I do not much like ze idea of sending my men to fight a monster zat very well may 'ave kept some of zese weapons for use by 'is own men."

-mm-

Konan and Kisame spent the next few days barricaded inside the woman's office, going over every detail of their assault plan with expert care. The floor plan of Zabuza's mansion was covered in scribbles and marks around each doorway and window, anticipating the ideal locations where Zabuza would station his guards or snipers. The criminal mastermind had constructed a veritable fortress to live in, but Konan needed this victory and Kisame was desperate to learn the fate of his lover. One way or another, they were going to get inside his base.

"Ideally, we should move in under the cover of darkness," Kisame suggested. "It would be better to take a small squad and focus on disabling the guards one by one, than to try and mount a full-on assault against his forces."

Konan nodded at the suggestion. "Agreed. Zis mansion may be very well guarded, but only a fool wouldn't 'ave a few escape routes in ze event of zings going terribly wrong. We cannot risk letting 'im get away and fortifying ze defenses."

"Deidara and Sasori would be good for this mission," Kisame thoughtfully stated. "Kakuzu too. But Hidan definitely isn't cut out for stealth…"

"I shall see zat 'e is left in ze care of someone else while Kakuzu is on zis assignment," Konan promised. "Aside from zem, I shall take a few of my own men. I do not want more zan a dozen troops on zis assignment; it will become too large a scale to be easily managed, particularly if somezing bad 'appens in ze middle of ze mission."

"Excellent. Weapons?"

"Tranquilizer guns," Konan immediately answered. "Regular guns will make too much noise, even if we used ze newest plasma blasters on ze black market. Besides, getting blood on our 'ands makes VUM look bad to ze public, and a bad public image is ze last zing any of us need right now."

Kisame whistled at the woman's thoroughness. "Impressive. Guess the only thing left to decide is when to move out."

"My sources tell me zat Zabuza is traveling at ze moment, but should be home early next week. Our best bet is to attack ze night 'e returns 'ome, while ze man's guard is down and his defenses are weakened by jetlag."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

-days later-

"Wish us luck, Hidan," Sasori requested as he gave his comrade a farewell hug.

"Tch, you're already lucky enough to be going on this assignment," Hidan grumbled. "I'm stuck here kicking stones and staring at the Jashin-damned clouds all day."

"On the bright side, you get a break from Kakuzu, un," Deidara reminded him.

"Yeah, but I get stuck with that dumbass Tobi instead! All he does anymore is sit on his ass and file shit! If I have to hear one more whine of, 'my poor little right hand is all swollen and crampy, and now my left one is too', I'm gonna break his neck! Jashin damn it, why the hell do all these Falks trust Tobi to watch me? Of all the nerve…"

Sasori leaned in towards Deidara and whispered, "Probably because Tobi's the only one around here besides Kakuzu that doesn't piss his pants when Hidan goes on rants like this," making the blond giggle.

"Anyway, have fun, play nice with the other kids, and try not to get your asses shot up too badly," Hidan commanded, waving the two off as they boarded the ship. Everyone else was already on board, albeit most of them were still arranging their things under the seats. After doing a quick headcount to ensure that everyone was present, Konan gave the signal for her men to settle in for the ride, and as soon as the last troop was buckled in, the pilot was given the command to take off.

-mm-

Breaking into Zabuza's base soon proved to be a much harder feat than planning an invasion and traveling to the intended location. Arriving at night and making use of their black market grade night-vision binoculars, Konan and Kisame quickly scanned the mansion grounds from a safe distance.

The team's one saving grace was the fact that Zabuza had not put his mansion on top of a mountain, but had rather chosen to surround himself with the giant terrain features. Konan suspected that this was done to allow for more possible escape routes, since a house surrounded by mountains provided a plethora of possible escape tunnels, instead of tunneling straight down through one mountain, but whether this was the case or not was never discovered. The grounds had guards circling the perimeter in a timely, orderly manner, and heat vision settings on the binoculars informed the group that the same could be said for all three floors of the mansion's interior. Add to that a twenty-foot tall brick wall which had only a wrought-iron gate for an opening, and they were dealing with nothing short of a minor fortress. Considering that their target room was on the second floor as well as being on other side of the building, this was going to be difficult.

"After a guard passes the front gate, it takes 4 minutes 15 seconds for another to reach the same position," Kisame stated, having been timing the guards' routes while the others scanned the area. "Our best bet it to snag a few and replace them with ourselves. We then continue their route until we reach the entrance to the back garden, and then we sneak in through that way to the back door. After that, we'll head through the kitchen to the servants' stairway, climb up to the second floor, head straight back to the office and download whatever's on his computer to our own flash drives. Think you guys can handle that?"

"I 'ope so," Konan whispered, "Because ze next guard is about to reach ze gate! Quickly, go!"

The guard was a woman in her late twenties, slight of frame with a hand hovering close to the pistol on her hip. Obviously the woman would be relying on firearms, not brute strength, if apprehended, so disposing of her quickly was a must. Two of Konan's Falks had grappled onto the top of the brick wall, and were waiting for a signal from Kisame to make their next move. When the guard was almost past the gate, Kisame reach a hand through and yanked her against the cool metal, muffling her mouth with one hand as the other held a syringe near her throat and quickly injected a tranquilizer into her bloodstream. They couldn't afford to use tranquilizer darts outside of combat, particularly when this was an easier solution.

Once the woman was completely unconscious, the Falks on the wall dropped a rope down to Kisame. Quickly the shark tied the rope around her waist and tugged twice, signaling the rebels to hoist her up the wall and out of sight. A minute later, one of the Falks rappelled down into the grounds wearing the uniform, while the other lowered the unconscious guard into the waiting hands of VUM. She'd be all right, but probably very confused in a few hours when she woke up outside the property in only her underwear.

"Quickly, ze next one needs to climb up!" the remaining Falk ordered as his partner hurried out of sight, before another guard could come and notice something was amiss. He'd have to hide in the garden until the others came, but considering that most of the vegetables growing in the garden were as big as Kisame, that wouldn't be much of an issue. But, back to the matter at hand. The next guard appeared to be rather large when they'd observed him through the binoculars, so Kakuzu was the once forced to hurry up the rope to reach the top of the wall this time and take the uniform.

"Why didn't we just steal the uniforms from the cleaners or something, un?" Deidara whispered.

"Konan said the uniforms are never taken off the grounds," Sasori explained. "The guards change into them when they come in for work and change out again before going home. This was the only way we could get them."

"Still seems a little much, un."

It took a good amount of time, but finally all seven troops assigned to this job had made it over the wall in a guard's uniform, except for Kisame who would simply have to book it across the grounds and hope no one noticed the giant shark commando in their midst. Quickly the group reassembled in the garden and rushed to the kitchen. None of the scans had shown Zabuza to have installed any security cameras _inside_ the house, presuming that the presence of live guards would be enough to drive off most would-be burglars; therefore, as long as the VUM members could avoid visual detection by the hired men, they'd be safe.

Konan was the first to go into the hall, checking around corners before motioning for the others to follow her. In this way the group gradually worked their way down the hall, up the stairs, and towards Zabuza's study. They only ran into a few men during their expedition, and these guards were quickly tranquilized by a few shots from Konan's pistol. Once the second floor was cleared, two men were placed at the head of the stairwell, and Kakuzu was left outside the door of the study itself. This left Konan, Kisame, Sasori, and Deidara free to rush in and look around.

Immediately they were assaulted by a surprise that made Konan swear in a manner more audible than they would have liked. The office had floor to ceiling bookshelves, packed with ledgers and trapper-keepers stuffed with notes and receipts. The chamber's lone desk was covered in ledgers as well, along with numerous sticky notes and graphs scribbled on random scraps of paper. And there was not a computer in sight.

"Shit," Konan growled. "We don't 'ave time to go zrough all zis!"

"Look through the books at eye level," Kisame ordered, already doing just that. "The ones up high probably haven't been moved for a decade or more. Scan them for any dates around the time we know Itachi came through here, and especially anything that shows a shipment of coolant going out or coming in. We'll put them in my bag and sort them out back at the base."

"Zabuza will know-"

"It's either that or admit this job was a bust," Kisame snapped, silencing Konan in an instant. "Sasori, Deidara, you too. And make it quick; there's no telling how little time we have."

Immediately the four spread out, with Konan taking a look at the ledgers on the desk and the three boys covering the bookshelves. Sasori quickly passed over the books that appeared to have been recently thumbed through or disturbed, figuring that their dates would be too recent to be of any use. Even with this strategy in place, the first dozen or so records he flipped through had their dates a few years off his target. Five years ago from Zeirk, fifteen years back from the capital city Herrx, one year ago from some company called the Northern Attachment's Decommissioned Soldiers' Resources and Dieticians-wait.

Sasori reread the last receipt, eyes widening as the initials sank in. NADSRaD. It was too much of a coincidence to be just that, especially with such an awkward name. Quickly Sasori stuffed all the receipts containing those initials into his pocket, before going back to the hunt for information on Itachi. Konan would be ecstatic to have a new lead once they got back to the base, even if the lead was a good year old. For now though it was best to keep quiet, thereby keeping the focus on Itachi.

"I found it, un!" Deidara whispered excitedly. "Two and a half years ago, large group of captured rebels brought in…and see, this one matches Itachi's description, un!"

"It's him," Kisame whispered, taking the ledger and holding it like a sacred object. "I finally found him."

"It looks like zere was no need for ze bag zen," Konan muttered with a shrug. "Oh well. Let's go!"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't let you do that," a gravelly voice interjected from behind them.

The rebels spun around to see a tall, ashen-skinned man before them, wrapped head to toe in bandages and leaning against a bookcase that had swung back to reveal a secret passageway. Well that explained how he managed to get in undetected…"I'll admit, I'm impressed that you made it this far," the man congratulated before doubling over in a coughing fit. "Really, it's quite a feat. If this office wasn't bugged, you would've gotten off scot-free."

"Ze jig is up, Zabuza," Konan warned as Kisame stuffed the ledger into his backpack. "We know what you're doing wiz zose plasma guns, and you will never be able to sell zem again when we're done wiz you!"

Zabuza actually laughed at this, before another round of coughing stopped his mirth. "You stupid woman. You think I don't know I'm done? Humph. Guess that's the price you pay when you get sloppy…you end up getting murdered for your hard work."

"Somehow, I don't think he's talking about us, un," Deidara whispered to Sasori.

"My client's going to ensure I die very shortly," Zabuza went on, leaning more heavily against the bookshelf. "It took me this long to figure out I was being poisoned…damn it, I really am losing my touch…"

"Who hired you?" Konan demanded. "And why do zey want all zose guns?"

"It's not worth the life I've got left to tell you," Zabuza explained. "Besides, if nothing else, I've always been good about confidentiality agreements between me and my clients. That was really the only thing I was extremely good at in this business. Well, that and operating solely on my own terms…particularly in matters of life and death."

At this point, Sasori noticed that Zabuza had reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket lighter. By the time the others had seen it, Zabuza had already flicked it on and pressed the flame to a nearby shelf.

It should be noted that the climate of this region was extremely dry, without a drop of humidity in the air. It should also be noted that many of the ledgers were full of old, yellowed paper that had been completely dried out by years of settling in this environment. Thus, it should come as no surprise that a little flame was all it took to set off the library like a Roman candle.

In only a matter of seconds the whole shelf had caught fire; by the time a minute passed, the blaze had consumed the whole bookcase. Konan and Kisame rushed their companions out of the room, leaving Zabuza to succumb to either flames or smoke.

Kakuzu saw the fire when the four rushed out of the study, and needed no encouragement to hurry after the group. Given that this mansion was full of expensive woodwork and paintings, the entire thing would see be engulfed in flames. Grabbing the other two Falks and shooting at numerous very confused guards on the way out of the mansion, the group was eventually able to make it out of the building and back to the mansion's front yard.

By now most of the second floor had caught fire, providing excellent light to allow the group a hasty passage back to their rappelling rope, which still dangled from the top of the brick wall completely undisturbed. Konan and Kisame urged their men to go over the top as quickly as possible, since the fire was growing so great they could feel the heat and taste the smoke even from this distance. At last everyone was over the wall, and all were given a few seconds to catch their breath before hurrying off into the forest towards the rendezvous point. As they ran, Sasori could see the light from the fire and hear the crackling and hissing of flames, before a great groan and crash let the group know that the mansion had at last fallen victim to the fire. If Zabuza hadn't died already, he was surely gone now.

-hours later-

By the time the Falks and humans made it back to the base, dawn was nearly upon them, and they were all in mutual agreement that a few hours' sleep was in good order. Still, Konan was pleased to note that her Falks went off with smiles on their faces; clearly getting rid of Zabuza had been good for their morale. She decided against telling them to keep quiet about the assignment, figuring that they were smart enough not to let slip the most important details between now and when they collapsed onto their bunks.

Sasori, meanwhile, was still wide awake thanks to the adrenaline from his findings in the mansion. The few receipts that he'd managed to grab seemed like such a small clue; if only he could've had a bit more time to find more! But as the matter stood, everything but what was in his pocket or Kisame's bag was now ashes, so he needed to be grateful for what he did have.

Waiting until Konan's men had dispersed, Sasori approached the Falk leader and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Konan, I need to talk to you in your office. There's something I found in the study that I think you'll want to see."


	20. Chapter 19

Konan stared at the receipts lying out on her desk, biting her lip nervously as she reread them for what had to be the twentieth time. "You are absolutely positive zat zese were in Zabuza's ledgers?"

"Well I definitely didn't find them here on the base," Sasori snapped, probably more harshly than he had the right to. The redhead was just getting a little annoyed that Konan couldn't seem to accept this blatant, hard evidence as fact, despite having had the receipts in her possession for nearly half an hour now. It was late, he was tired, and bed sounded really good right now. The redhead was actually beginning to regret having approached the blue-haired woman immediately, instead of waiting until the morning when he'd had a bit of rest.

Konan finally nodded in acceptance, even offering Sasori a somewhat sheepish look. "You must understand, Monsieur Sasori, good fortune 'as a nasty 'abit of overlooking the Verden Underground Movement, so for us to get zis kind of good fortune…it is somezing zat, as you 'umans like to say, 'appens once in a blue moon."

"I know, I couldn't believe it, but there's no way this is just a coincidence," Sasori pointed out. "What are the odds that a company on Earth would pick the acronym NADSRaD to stand for North Atlantic Deep Sea Research and Development, and then halfway across the galaxy another company just _happens_ to pick the name Northern Attachment's Decommissioned Soldiers' Resources and Dieticians, which just _happens_ to have the same acronym? And come on, the second one even sounds like someone made it up in five minutes because it had the right letters and vaguely sounded sensible!"

"When you put it zat way, zere really isn't much room for argument," Konan had to agree. "All right, I shall 'ave my men look into zis company and see if we can find some connection to zat mine shaft. But Sasori, I must make a small request of you."

"What is it?"

"I am going to tell my men zat I not only found ze receipts, but made ze connection between zis company and ze computer in ze cave. And before you can protest, please see it my way. You found ze computer zat day; no one else did. You made ze connection to its origins. Zen, on zis assignment, you against all odds found ze 'andful of receipts zat connect us to what may be a front for whoever put zat computer in ze cave."

"You think I'm a spy," Sasori surmised.

Konan shook her head. "Give me a bit more credit zan zat, mon cher. I know a traitor when I see one, and you 'ave been nozing but absolutely loyal to everyone in zis camp! But many of my men are not so trusting of 'umans, and would love a good reason to, 'ow you say, give you people ze sandal? No, the clog…it's a word like zat…"

"Give us the boot?" Sasori guessed.

"If zat is 'ow ze saying goes, zen oui. Please, keep zis between ze two of us for now. I shall explain zis to Monsieur Fishy if I must, and possibly Deidara as well, but until zat time comes, say nozing to anyone!"

"I understand," Sasori quickly agreed, wanting to avoid a confrontation with an angry Konan if that was at all possible.

"Good," the Falk replied, settling back down in her chair. "I shall make zis my top priority; Itachi will just 'ave to wait, I'm sad to say. You are free to go now."

Nodding, Sasori rose and exited the room, breathing a sigh of relief once he got outside. Konan had been right; it would look too suspicious if he found two huge clues back to back like that. For now, he'd listen to what the Falk had to say and keep his mouth shut.

Still, Sasori was fairly certain that at least in part, Konan wanted the credit for this find because it would strengthen her support among the resistance members. The redhead didn't care to be used like this, but once Konan made an announcement that the find had been hers, any objections by the redhead would not only hurt him but Konan as well, and that would put the entire human group in danger. Sasori made a mental note to keep an eye on Konan in the near future; he liked the Falk, but in the game of politics among the VUM and humans, Konan was a master player, and Sasori wasn't even sure he knew all the pieces.

His musings on Konan were cut short by an attack from his side. Seconds later Deidara was lying on his back and staring up at Sasori, who'd managed to flip him out of equal parts reflex and sheer luck. "Wow danna, how come you never did that back on the ship, un?"

"Was there a reason you chose to tackle me?" Sasori retorted as he helped the blond back onto his feet.

"Oh yeah! You've got to come see what Tobi's doing right now, un!"

"If it has anything to do with spaghetti, his nose, and a world record, I've see that trick before."

"Un?"

"…Let's see what it is."

-m-

Sasori and Deidara peered through the doorway into the lounge, Deidara covering his mouth to suppress giggles and Sasori gaping in amazement. "No way," he finally whispered.

"Keep watching, un!"

Sitting on the lounge's couch and a nearby rocking chair were three Falk girls, one with pixie cut hair dyed a bright bubblegum pink, one with shoulder-length electric blue hair, and the third with her hair wrapped in a towel. They all had the same grey eyes and facial structure, indicating that they were siblings, and all of them seemed to be in the process of getting a makeover. Towel girl had a green mud mask on her face, pink girl was having her nails filed, and blue was admiring her own nails while soaking her feet in a portable foot spa. And who was seeing to all these makeovers? None other than Tobi.

"Ah, Monsieur Tobi, my nails 'ave never looked so magnifique!" the blue haired girl crooned.

"Oui, and my face 'asn't felt zis good since before we joined ze VUM!" her towel-wearing sister added. "Who knew working in filing could be so stressful?!"

"Do tell, 'ow did you ever get so good at zis?!" the pink one all but demanded.

Tobi chuckled softly and shrugged, careful not to damage the pinkette's hand in the process. "Tobi spent a few years working at a salon. It was kinda fun; Tobi met all sorts of people there."

"Oooh, what kind?!" blue inquired, seemingly hanging on to Tobi's every word.

"Well, once Tobi got a lady who said she'd never been to the same salon twice, because she liked variety-"

"Oh, to 'ave zat luxury!"

"And another time, Tobi met a lady who was really old and had never had anyone work on her feet, so it took Tobi almost an hour to scrape off her calluses."

All three girls made retching sounds at the thought of such icky feet. "Tobi, my feet aren't zat bad, are zey?" blue asked, batting her lashes at the masked man.

"Of course not Lily! Tobi thinks those feet are lovely." Lily beamed and went back to admiring her nails. "Oooh, it's been thirty minutes! Milly, time to rinse out the excess dye and take off the mask! Tilly, while Tobi does that, pick out a polish color, ok?"

"Sacrebleu, I wish we 'ad more colors to pick from!" the pink-haired girl known as Tilly fussed as she looked over the half-dozen bottles sitting on her lap. "I don't care what Konan says, beauty products should count as basic necessities!"

"Don't use all ze blue!" Lily demanded. "Tobi is going to paint my toes to match my 'air."

"Fine, I shall use ze red."

"This has to be the strangest thing I've seen Tobi do in a long time," Sasori whispered to Deidara. "And that's including the spaghetti trick."

"What is that anyway, un?"

"Well first Tobi cooked about a pound of spaghetti, and then-" but the redhead never got to finish, because in the next moment Lily and Tilly let out twin squeals of glee. Milly had returned, sporting pixie cut hair that such a vibrant shade of scarlet that it even drew attention away from her sisters' pink and blue locks.

"Très magnifique!" Tilly declared. "Monsieur Tobi, you are ze best zing zat 'as 'appened to our department in a very long time!"

"Oh, why did you ever leave ze salon business in ze first place?" Lily couldn't help but ask.

Tobi ever so slightly flinched at the question, but nevertheless calmly sat himself down in front of Tilly and began painting her nails. "Well, it was because of Tobi's brother."

"Oooh, you have a brozer?!" the girls squealed.

"A twin, actually," Tobi corrected. "It means we were born on the same day, so he was only thirteen minutes older than me."

"Aww!"

"Tobi and Madara (that's his name, sorry) played together all the time as kids. Madara always wanted to be a soldier or a policeman or something, so Tobi would be a bad guy or someone getting attacked by a vicious robber, and Madara would swoop in and save the day!"

"'Ow precious!" Lily crooned, the other girls nodding in agreement.

"Tobi always had fun. But one day, Madara wanted to play that he was a ninja fighting an evil ninja, so he made Tobi climb up the tallest tree in the yard. And then, when Madara was almost as high up as Tobi…the branch he was holding onto snapped…"

All three girls gasped, which was fortunate because Deidara had let out a sound of surprise as well. "Oh, zat is terrible!" Tilly cried out.

"Watch the nails!" Tobi scolded. "Anyway, when Tobi grew up, he didn't really know what to do with life, so since Madara had made it seem like a good idea, Tobi decided to try military life and see if it gave him any direction."

"Oh, you poor little zing!" Lily fussed, and soon she and both her sisters were giving Tobi a hug. "Such a tragic accident, and you were just a little boy!"

"Let's go, before this gets sappy, un," Deidara whispered, and Sasori was inclined to agree. Tobi was in imminent danger of being coddled, and that was a sight that Sasori really didn't want to see. Besides, Deidara and he were still completely wiped out from the mission earlier, and Sasori had the distinct feeling that as fun as it had been to spy on Tobi, by the time the Uchiha's life story had rolled around, both of them were ready for bed.

"Wow, who knew Tobi lost his brother like that, un," Deidara remarked as they walked down the hall towards the dorms. "It's one thing to lose family in a war, but at home…that's like slipping on a bar of soap and breaking your neck, un."

"I knew Tobi lost family, but I thought it was just his parents," Sasori added. "I guess his brother passed too."

"Really, un?"

"It was kind of a recurring theme in our unit, really," Sasori admitted. "I don't have parents and was raised by my grandma, Tobi's parents died a while back, and Hidan was raised by his brother who actually died in the war a few years ago."

Deidara seemed troubled by this information. "Why didn't you tell me any of this, un?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought you didn't say anything about the others because you didn't know them that well, but I guess that was wrong, un. So why didn't you say anything about their families, un?"

"I didn't think you needed to know." It was true; why would Deidara have any interest in the other humans and their personal lives, when he spent the vast majority of his time with just Sasori?

Deidara rolled his eyes, a gesture which had become slightly less awkward looking for the Falk after much practice. "I don't need to know, but it would be nice to know. If I had any friends here, I'd tell you all about them, un."

"Deidara, is this a Falk thing, or am I missing something because I'm exhausted?"

The blond shook his head. "I don't know, un. It just feels like sometimes, you keep things from me, un. And I trust you with my life, danna. I _owe_ you my life. But I need to know that trusting you is a good decision for me, un. Do you understand, or is my English still bad?"

Sasori did his best to keep his face devoid of any signs of deception, and nodded to Deidara. "Deidara, you can trust me. I've never lied to you." Lies by omission don't count, really, right? "If you'd like, tomorrow I can tell you all about my friends, here and at home."

"You don't have to tell me everything, un," Deidara clarified. "Just the big stuff, like how I probably shouldn't make a joke about Tobi's mother because she's kind of dead, un."

"I'm beginning to see your point about telling you things," Sasori admitted with a yawn. "Tomorrow then."

"Un," Deidara agreed. "But tonight, we sleep."


	21. Chapter 20

BOOM

A very tired, very confused Sasori awoke to the sounds of explosions going on outside along with people shouting, and the sensation that the ground was shaking beneath his feet. The Akasuna had a strong suspicion that he hadn't been asleep for nearly as long as he needed to be, and his eyes refused to focus, heavily blurred from sleep. "Wassat?" he mumbled aloud as his brain tried to make some sense of what was going on.

His answer came when the door to his room burst open and Kisame rushed in, a rucksack slung over one shoulder and a pistol in the other hand. "Sasori, get up!" he bellowed, rushing across the room to yank Sasori out of his bed.

"Wha-?"

"The base is under attack!" Kisame explained as he lightly slapped the redhead's cheek to wake him completely. "We need to get out **now**, before it gets any worse! Quick, is there anything in here you need?"

"Photo of my family in the rucksack," Sasori answered. After the slapping and Kisame's explanation he was slightly more coherent, and his brain was quickly slipping into field mode despite being completely exhausted.

Kisame seemed to feel that there was no time to go digging for one photo and grabbed Sasori's whole pack, slinging it over his shoulder to rest by the other pack which probably belonged to the shark himself. "Let's go!"

What followed were the most chaotic twenty minutes of Sasori's life. He and Kisame ran down the hall to escape the dorms, just as another bomb obliterated one of the rooms not ten feet from where Sasori had been sleeping. Both men were knocked off their feet, and when Sasori finally righted himself there was a loud ringing in his ears. He could barely hear Kisame order him to keep running, and pressed on thanks to survival instinct. Vaguely he was aware of a pain in his arm, and looked down to see a cut on his bicep, probably from shrapnel. Sasori bunched up the fabric of his sleeve and pressed it to the wound, praying that he'd make it out of the base alive before the adrenaline wore off and he found out just how painful this injury would be.

Sasori and mindlessly followed Kisame as they ran further and further away from the chaos of the dorm, only to wander into something very much like what Sasori pictured hell to be. The redhead watched with horrified fascination as Falks ran about, screaming orders at each other in their native language over the din of explosions and crackling flames. Everything that was flammable in the common area of the base looked to either be on fire or smoldering in ashes, and no one seemed to know how to counter this. On the bright side, he could actually hear words over the ringing in his ears, provided that the speaker was screaming at the top of their lungs.

More explosions went off, and Sasori turned to see that at least one of the huge downed airships that made up the base's storage facility was on fire. The flames must've caught the wooden crates inside, and would gut the storage facility from the inside out. Yet to his shock, numerous Falks could be seen running directly into the flames with seemingly no regard for their own lives. "What the hell?!" he shrieked in shock, unable to comprehend these suicidal actions.

"We're evacuating everyone as soon as some of the more sensitive equipment is destroyed," Kisame yelled out over the cacophony of madness sweeping through the base. "There are some things that we have to destroy, and leaving them to the flames isn't good enough!"

"Then why aren't we helping?!"

"Because Konan wants everyone but her special forces to leave now, so-"

"Wait, where the hell's Deidara?" Sasori suddenly blurted out. It had just now hit his explosion damaged, half-awake mind that Deidara was on the base, and the base was on fire, therefore Deidara was probably in danger.

"Hell if I know! Tobi's with Konan, but Deidara and Hidan-"

"Jashin damnit, PUT ME DOWN!"

Kisame and Sasori both spun around at the sound of Hidan's voice. It took them a few moments to process that Hidan was rapidly moving towards them via being carried over Kakuzu's shoulder, with one of the Falk's arms firmly wrapped around Hidan's waist. "I told you I'm fucking awake now, so fucking put me down!"

"Not gonna ask, just keep running!" Kisame yelled as more explosions went off.

"But Deidara-"

"Has probably been through worse, he'll be fine!" Leaving no room for further argument, Kisame called out to Kakuzu and waved the man down, before the Falk and Jashinist could disappear amidst the mayhem of the attack. Once the large rebel had joined them, the shark and Akasuna took off once more, hopefully in the direction of safety.

Sasori was soon led to a less damaged area on the edge of the base, housing one of the VUM's helicopters that was big enough to carry twenty or so persons at a time. Sasori attempted to break off from the group and find Deidara, but was caught by one of the Falks manning the area and hurriedly shoved in the back along with Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan. He noticed a few of the other humans were on board as well, but most of the passengers were Falks; covered in soot and singed by the fire, wearing pajamas, and clutching desperately to whatever bags they'd managed to grab. Sasori felt his stomach twist at the sight, wondering how many times these people had been forced to pack a few precious possessions in the middle of the night and flee, never to return home again.

"Danna!"

The redhead's musings were, as always, interrupted by the immediate and unexpected presence of Deidara, who suddenly glomped the redhead and began babbling a string of thanks in both English and Falk, so that Sasori only had half an idea as to what the blond was saying. "I'm all right, Deidara. Well, aside from the complete exhaustion and the realization that I could've died slowly sinking in."

"Did you get your things, un? I got some of mine; oh I saved the puppets you gave me, un!" Deidara opened a small burlap sack and showed off the two puppets, which were completely undamaged despite the hell their owner had just been through.

Sasori nodded in response. "Kisame got my bag-oh, thank you, Kisame. I'd probably be dead right now if it weren't for you."

"Sorry danna," Deidara apologized, looking miserable even given their current situation. "I had to help everyone in the mess out, and then the war room needed to be torched, so I asked Kisame to-"

"Deidara, it's fine," Sasori assured the distraught Falk. "I'm just glad you and everyone here got out ok."

"I am fucking fine, dumbass!" came a disgruntled shout from behind them.

Sasori and Deidara turned to see that Hidan had finally been set down, but now Kakuzu was examining every inch of the Jashinist, even going as far as bending the zealot's arms and legs to test that they were working properly. "Jashin damnit, let go of me!"

"You'd think Hidan would show a little more gratitude after being rescued, un. Poor Kakuzu; if anything's wrong with Hidan, Konan will kill him, un," Deidara murmured.

"Hidan's not a big fan of being picked up," Sasori explained. "He took bathroom detail for a month instead of practicing a fireman carry back in basic training."

"Well most Falks are like that too, but if you'd carried me out of there, I'd still say thank you, un."

Sasori was about to counter that it was highly unlikely that he could've carried the blond very far at all, never mind out of the base, when suddenly a Falk dressed from head to toe in black leapt into the chopper and pressed a switch to latch the hatch closed. Several things beeped towards the front of the helicopter, and in a few moments Sasori could feel the aircraft lifting off the ground. Wait… "Where's Konan?!" the puppet master demanded.

"Still getting everyone else to safety," Kisame assured him before the redhead could get too worked up. "She may spend a lot of time with us, Sasori, but she is the commander of an entire base. She won't leave until all her men are out of there; we'll just have to wait for her wherever they're taking us."

Sasori accepted this information with a bit of anxiety; Konan had always served as their protective shield, ensuring that if anyone on the base possessed anti-human sentiments (and the Akasuna was fairly certain Falks matching that description made up a large portion of the camp's population), they kept those sentiments to themselves. Without Konan…well, hopefully that wouldn't be an issue for long.

Kakuzu had finally stopped looking over Hidan, and the Jashinist had meandered towards a corner in the back. He had the good sense not to thank Jashin for the mindless destruction he'd just witnessed, and curled up on his rucksack to get some shuteye. Kakuzu took a seat beside the zealot, fingers rubbing the fabric of a small burlap sack in his lap. Sasori couldn't help but marvel at the Falk; Kakuzu had not only been able to rescue Hidan from imminent danger, but had also escaped with their personal possessions in tow. He was practically the definition for keeping cool under pressure; then again, that's probably why Konan had assigned him to look after Hidan.

Seeing Hidan lie down suddenly knocked the wind out of Sasori. He was even more exhausted now then he'd been after spying on Tobi, and with nothing better to do until they arrived at their mystery destination, sleep was a welcomed option. Not to mention that his ears were still ringing a bit and his arm was beginning to hurt like a bitch…hissing, Sasori pulled his hand away to see that the blood had completely soaked through the fabric of his shirt. "What I wouldn't give for some bandages right now," he murmured.

"I have some, un," Deidara immediately responded, all but shoving the medical supplies in the redhead's face.

"Er, thanks Deidara. Do you think you could…?"

"Help treat the wound?" the blond finished. "Yeah, just sit down, un."

Sasori took a seat in the back near Hidan, with Deidara kneeling by his side to dress the gash in his arm. "It's not very deep, so healing should be quick, un," Deidara murmured, trying to clean the wound before doing anything else to it.

"You sound like you've done this before," Sasori noted.

Deidara shrugged and began bandaging Sasori's arm. "Back when I was a slave, sometimes the towns we'd stop in would get bombed in the middle of the night, un. It was awful," the blond whispered, slowing his movements as he spoke. "I picked up treating basic burns and cuts fairly quickly, and that wasn't so bad. Hearing the explosions and screams, seeing the fire and smoke…you never get used to that, though."

"I'm so sorry, Deidara. Is there anything I can do to help?"

The blond shook his head as he finished dressing Sasori's injury. "I just need to sleep this off and give it time, un. It's the only thing that helps."

Sasori had to admit that the blond had a point, and scooted over a bit so Deidara could recline by him. Deidara lay down, curling himself into a ball and, much to Sasori's surprise, putting his head in the puppeteer's lap. "Deidara?"

"I feel safer this way, un," Deidara explained as his eyes slowly closed.

Sasori wanted to say something, namely that this was neither the time nor place for the Falk to commit an innocent action that could easily be misinterpreted as a public display of affection, but by now every fiber of his being was at its limit. His lungs burned from smoke, his muscles ached from overuse without proper rest, the cut was still burning despite being cleaned, his brain refused to process anything anymore, and his eyes just wanted to close and stay shut for a short eternity.

Before drifting off, the redhead took a final look around the ship, and noticed two Falks looking in his direction, specifically at himself and Deidara. They were muttering to each other in hisses and clicks, and their tone sounded far from pleasant. "Wonder what's up?"

"Un?"

"Those two over there. I think they're talking about us," Sasori explained.

Deidara suddenly seemed much more awake, listening to the others' conversation with interest. Sasori wondered what the men were saying; Deidara's expression was completely blank, so Sasori didn't have a clue whether or not the two Falks were speaking kindly or rudely of them.

And suddenly there was an inhuman shriek, and Deidara was out of Sasori's lap and on top of one of the whisperers, clawing at the startled Falk's face with murderous intentions in his eyes.

Kakuzu and two other Falks were on them in an instant, Kakuzu yanking away Deidara and the other two holding back his very angry, very bloody victim. Deidara was kicking and shrieking at the others, who hissed something back in their own language in an equally outraged manner, whilst the other Falks did their best to pretend nothing was happening and the humans looked on in utter confusion. Finally the argument ceased and the others turned and stormed to the other end of the ship to dress their friend's wounds.

Kakuzu, meanwhile, carried Deidara back to Hidan and Sasori, and set the blond down after Deidara clicked several things in a subdued manner to the mute Falk. Once back on the ground, Deidara curled up into a ball with his back to the others, including Sasori. "Dude, what the hell was that?" Hidan demanded, gaping at the blond.

"Nothing, un."

"The fuck it was nothing!"

"He said some things I didn't like, un," Deidara vaguely responded. "So drop it. I was stupid and lost my temper."

"But what-"

"Hidan, let it go," Sasori requested, giving the sliver-haired man a pointed look. Hidan grumbled something about stupid blonds and redheads but stopped pestering Deidara, choosing instead to curl back up and go to sleep. Kakuzu gave the blond a long look, before settling in beside Hidan and falling asleep as well.

Sasori, lastly, settled in to his seat against his rucksack, staring at Deidara's back. The blond had had a long night and was definitely on a short fuse, but he'd never seen Deidara so viciously attack anyone, regardless of their situation or the perceived threat. He'd let the blond sleep for now, but at some point tomorrow he'd need a better explanation for the Falk's recent actions.

With these thoughts in mind, an exhausted and confused Sasori finally sank into the depths of a dreamless slumber.


	22. Chapter 21

It felt like Sasori had barely even closed his eyes before Kisame was shaking his shoulder. "Sasori, we're here."

"Hm?" Sasori blearily blinked his eyes open and looked around, wondering exactly where "here" might be. He hadn't felt the escape ship land, but they definitely weren't moving right now. "Kisame, where are we?"

"I'll explain once we get off this ship and regroup with the others," the general assured him. "Just follow me." Deciding that now would be a great time to just shut up and listen to his commanding officer, Sasori managed to grab hold of his rucksack and shakily rose to his feet, following Kisame off the ship.

Sasori looked around at his new surroundings, slowly taking it all in. Instead of a jungle buzzing with the sounds of local wildlife, the VUM fighters and humans were in some sort of massive metal tunnel. The air was drier here than it had been in the jungle base, but was at least as hot if not hotter. Most of the light came from lamps and fires set up around the camp, which itself seemed to have been hastily constructed from tents, scrap metal, and canvas sheets to form a temporary base of operations. Distantly Sasori could hear the sounds of running water, and…was that traffic?

Thoroughly confused by now, the redhead unthinkingly followed his leader deeper into the camp, until they stopped next to a trio of tents braced against the wall of the metal tunnel. "This is where we'll be staying for a few days," Kisame explained. "You take the tent on the right; Hidan and Kakuzu are in the bigger one on the left, and I'll be in the middle."

"Kisame, where are we? And where's Deidara? And what happened back in the jungle?"

The shark shook his head and tossed his bag into his own tent, motioning for Sasori to do the same. "Honestly, I have no idea. Konan's been coming and going all night between here and the old base, but during her last stop I got her to promise that we'd all have a talk when she next got in. That'll answer your first and last questions, but I don't know about Deidara. Presumably he's still somewhere in the camp, but right after we landed he got off the ship and took off. No clue where he is now."

Sasori nodded in acceptance of Kisame's explanations. The shark had no reason to lie to him, and the only person who would know anything about what had happened (read: Konan) would clearly still be trying to maintain order and do whatever she could for what had turned into two camps. "So how long was I out?"

"About six hours, give or take," Kisame answered. "We actually landed half an hour ago, but the crew was kind enough to give you and Hidan a little extra sleep while they unloaded the supplies. They just made you get off because they needed the ship for something else; no idea what though."

"So Hidan is…?"

A snore from the tent on the left answered his question. "Kakuzu pretty much carried him here," Kisame snickered. "I'm not really sure he ever woke up on the way. And no one seemed to mind; guess the Falks like Hidan better when he's quiet, just like us. Kakuzu's off getting lunch right now, and I'm heading that way too."

"What about Tobi?"

"He should be eating lunch with the others too. Come on, drop your things and let's eat." Sasori obeyed his captain's orders and tossed his baggage into the tent, before following the shark towards what he presumed was the temporary MESS tent. Call it callous to be thinking of food after nearly being killed and forced to evacuate, but in times of warfare you ate, slept, and crapped when you could.

Sasori and Kisame entered one of the larger green tents and were assaulted by the smell of burnt meat and a few other less than appetizing scents. Half a dozen tables had been erected throughout the tent, mostly by laying plywood boards across larger chunks of scrap metal and setting crates along the edges for seats. Falk soldiers were draped over the table, poking at their food with half-hearted effort to put something in their stomachs before collapsing from exhaustion. Before Kisame and Sasori could take a seat and join the throng, their attention was diverted by a most peculiar sight in the corner of the room.

Tobi was surrounded by three girls that Sasori recognized as the Falks Tobi had pampered earlier, and they appeared to be crying and squeezing Tobi to death. "Oh, zank goodness for zis 'uman!" Lily crooned, strands of burnt blue hair dangling in her eyes.

"Oui, were it not for monsieur Tobi, we never would 'ave survived!" Tilly agreed.

"Zere we were, sleeping in our beds, when suddenly Tobi burst in and awoke us!" Milly explained to anyone who was bothering to listen (which wasn't very many). "We were terribly frightened, but Tobi did not 'esitate for a moment! Zis man gazered our zings and led us zrough ze fray, and zen made sure we arrived in zis camp safe and sound!"

"Oh Tobi, we can never zank you enough for zis!" All the girls suddenly pounced and engulfed the masked soldier in a sobbing sea of red, pink, and blue hair.

"Really girls, Tobi just wanted to make sure his friends were ok!" Tobi exclaimed, looking progressively more and more uncomfortable wrapped in the embrace of the trio.

"Tobi, I am forever indebted to you!" Milly declared, peering up at the man through messy red bangs. "When ze war is over, I shall marry you!"

"Not a chance!" Tilly snapped. "Tobi is to be my 'usband!"

"No, Tobi shall marry me!" Lily interjected. Soon the girls broke down into Falkian squabbling and hissing, each trying to pull Tobi to herself and nearly pulling the poor human into three pieces.

Kisame let the girls argue for a minute more, mostly for the entertainment value, before walking up and extracting a truly terrified Tobi from their clutches. "Sorry ladies, but I need to borrow my soldier for a bit."

"But 'e must decide which of us 'e shall marry!" Milly snapped.

"Later, promise," Kisame dismissively replied as he half-walked, half-dragged Tobi away from the sisters. "Honestly Tobi, I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

"Tobi didn't mean to make them mad!" the masked man pled. "Tobi just wanted to be a good boy!" Kisame rolled his eyes and pushed his subordinate towards the food line, which by now was full of Falks giving Tobi scathing and confused looks.

Sasori tried not to think too hard about the mess that his life had become in the past twelve hours, and settled in between Kisame and Tobi to eat…whatever it was that the cooks had managed to slop together. As he choked down the first squishy mouthful, the Akasuna briefly wondered if he was even eating food, and it took every ounce of willpower he had to force the rest of the meal down and keep it down.

Shortly after the trio had finished their meal, Sasori decided to go on the hunt for Deidara. Kisame advised him against this; as soon as Konan got back they'd be meeting, so Sasori would be better off trying to get as much sleep as possible now. Sasori, however, wanted to find Deidara and ask him about the scuffle on the escape ship. He'd seen Deidara hiss and threaten others before, but never actually witnessed the blond get into a fight. Kisame wasn't very happy with Sasori's decision but decided to let the redhead go; he at least wanted to get some sleep for himself. With a wave goodbye, Sasori was off.

Sasori had planned to check all the common areas first, but realized that this would be foolhardy since very little had been set up aside from the MESS and sleeping areas. He asked a few Falks if they had seen Deidara, but since very few of them spoke any English at all, never mind good English, this plan also fizzled out very quickly. He finally settled for walking around the edge of the camp and working his way in, hoping that the blond wasn't on the move or actively trying to avoid him. After searching for longer than he'd care to admit, Sasori finally stumbled across his Falkian friend.

Deidara was at the edge of camp, sitting on the ground near a burnt out fire, staring at the coals with a frown on his face. He didn't look up until Sasori was almost on top of him, and didn't say anything as Sasori took a seat beside him. "I've been looking for you," Sasori stated.

"You found me, un."

Sasori resisted the urge to sigh; he'd been worried that Deidara wouldn't be incredibly talkative so soon after the incident. "I was looking for you because I wanted to talk."

"About what?"

"Deidara, you know what."

The blond looked away from the redhead, hands balling into fists at his side. "The one I attacked…he was saying bad things about us."

"I gathered that much," Sasori stated. "But you've never attacked anyone like that, and I'm positive you've heard horrible things in camp before and just not said anything."

"This time was different," Deidara snapped. "They weren't just saying things about you, un. They said I was a traitor for being so close to you. That I was probably a…I guess whore is the closest word you have for what they called me, un. And they just kept going on and on, un. I've been hearing it for weeks, but this time, it was just too much."

Sasori was surprised; although he knew that humans were disliked or even hated by some members of the camp, he had no idea that the animosity would spread to Deidara. "Deidara, I'm so sorry," Sasori murmured. "I didn't realize-"

"Why would you, un?" Deidara hissed. "They won't insult Konan because she's the leader, they won't insult Kakuzu because he's just following orders, so it's just me that gets hurt, un." Sasori reached out to put a hand on Deidara's shoulder, only for the blond to smack it away. "Don't."

Sasori slowly retracted his hand and watched the blond, hoping for some sign of what to do now. Unfortunately, the Akasuna still wasn't terribly good at reading Falkian body language and was thus at a complete loss. "Would it help if you and I didn't spend so much time together?"

Deidara shook his head. "Probably not, un. They're angry and I'm a good target for them."

"So, what should we do?"

Deidara shrugged and stood up. "You can do whatever you want, un. I will be going to my tent and getting sleep."

"It's our tent," Sasori corrected as he stood as well. "Someone, I don't know who, decided to put us together."

Deidara muttered something under his breath that Sasori couldn't understand and began walking in the direction of the sleeping area. Sasori hung back, watching the blond walk off. Well that could have gone better.

-meanwhile-

Kakuzu gently shook Hidan on the shoulder, prompting the Jashinist to swear softly before slowly blinking his eyes open. "Kuzu? What the hell?" he slurred, eyes unable to focus on anything at the moment.

The Falk held up a plate of food in front of Hidan, indicating that he wanted the human to eat. "Seriously? You woke me up to eat that shit?" Hidan sat up and gave the food a closer look, wrinkling his nose at the concoction. "What the fuck's in it?"

Kakuzu shrugged.

"Really Kakuzu? You fucking wake me up to make me eat fucking shit like that, when we just got our asses handed to us by Jashin knows who and all I wanna do is sleep?"

Kakuzu nodded, shoving the food into Hidan's arms.

"Ack! Fine, you don't have to be such an ass," the Jashinist grumbled as he began to poke at the food with the spork Kakuzu had given him. "Yeesh, this is worse than what they fed us in basic training…"

Kakuzu reached behind him and ruffled through one of the sacks on his sleeping bag, before turning back around and showing a very familiar bottle to Hidan. "Holy shit, you saved the ketchup?!"

Kakuzu nodded.

"Sweet!" Hidan quickly snatched the condiment bottle and inverted it, dumping a liberal coating of ketchup over the food. "Mm, much better."

Kakuzu sat quietly as Hidan finished most of the food, not having much of an appetite himself without the ketchup to smear on everything. The Falk reached up to his mask while waiting for Hidan to finish, fingers playing with the edge of the fabric for a minute before he retracted his hand. Hidan watched him do this from the corner of his eye a few times, before finally speaking up. "For Jashin's sake, just take off the damn thing already."

Kakuzu jumped at the words, giving Hidan a confused look. "They're just scars, I've seen them before, and there's no way in hell you're comfortable in all that; I'm surprised your dumb ass didn't drop dead in the jungle from the heat of wearing all that shit. Fucking take it off."

Kakuzu shot Hidan a look and then turned away from the soldier. "What?" Hidan demanded. "It's not like I don't have scars too."

Kakuzu looked around the tent, searching, and at last located a scrap of paper and a pen. Picking these up, he quickly scrawled a message and shoved the piece of paper into Hidan's hands. Hidan gave the Falk a confused look before reading the note. "_I am disfigured._" Hidan looked back at Kakuzu. "I'm not gonna say anything, dumbass."

Kakuzu reached for the paper, intent on writing another message, but Hidan snatched it away. "Listen. Three years ago, my brother was in a hangar when a bomb exploded twenty fucking feet from where he was standing. He lost both legs and most of his Jashin-damned skin. His cheek was gone so you could see his teeth when his mouth was closed, and all the fingers left on the hand they didn't amputate got fucking fused together. And he was alive in a Jashin-damned hospital bed like that for three days. So unless you can top that, stop acting like I'm gonna flip out when I see a couple of scars."

Silence hung in the air between the two for a time. Kakuzu gave the Jashinist's words a few moments to sink in as Hidan sat wringing his hands, clearly agitated by the memory he'd just brought up. Finally, Kakuzu once again reached up to the edge of his mask, this time grasping the fabric and lifting it up to pull the mask off. He sat with the mask in his lap, thinking, before setting it to the side and pulling off his shirt as well.

Kakuzu had always worn long-sleeved clothing around the others in camp; Hidan had the distinct feeling that the man didn't even like eating with his mask off around others. Now, the Jashinist could see why Kakuzu might be a little sensitive. His chest was covered in deep gouges and cuts, with burns on the right side. Chunks of his flesh were missing from his waistline, and a single long gash went from his neck all the way down his spine to the opposite hip. There was barely a square inch of the Falk that wasn't scarred or burned.

Hidan looked up at the Falk's face, trying to find the right words. All that came out was, "Well shit."

Kakuzu picked up the paper and began writing again. "_I told you._"

"No, damn it! I meant…shit, I feel like a huge ass right now."

"_?_"

"I'm sorry," Hidan muttered. "I didn't realize it was that bad. But really, they don't bother me."

"_They bother me._"

"I swear, I'm not going to say shit about them! Seriously. I'm not that big of an ass."

Kakuzu thought about this for a minute and slowly nodded. He took the paper back one last time and wrote a final message, before settling down on his bed to finally start on his lunch. Hidan looked down at the message, silently reading to himself. "_Sorry about your brother. My family's gone too._"

Hidan wadded up the note and stuffed it in his pocket. Some scars went deeper than you thought.

-m-

Sasori crawled into the tent some time later. Deidara was already tucked in beside him, sheets pulled up over his head. Sasori was certain that the blond was uncomfortable on the floor of their tent, having left the cot for the Akasuna. The breathing was also somewhat erratic, and occasionally Sasori could hear soft…chirping? Slowly, the redhead crouched down and tapped Deidara on the shoulder. "Deidara?"

Deidara rolled over and pulled down the sheets, facing Sasori. "What."

"I'm sorry. I'll talk to Konan about it-"

"Don't," Deidara sighed. "Just, don't worry about it, un. She'd only make it worse."

"Well, at least tell me what word they called you," Sasori asked. "So I can stick up for you next time I hear it."

"You know that would only cause a fight, un."

"Deidara…"

"Fine. It's _*click*haaas*click*_." Sasori repeated the word a few times before Deidara deemed the pronunciation acceptable. "And it means whore?"

"Literally, a whore that sleeps with a person to hurt another person, un."

"So, a spiteful whore?"

"If that's what spiteful means, un."

Sasori gave the blond a sad look. "Deidara, none of us think you're my whore."

"I know, un. It still hurts, un."

Sasori nodded and made up the cot, finishing it off by snatching up Deidara's blanket. "Hey, un!"

"Come on; there's no way you actually want to sleep on the ground."

"Sasori, did you just forget everything that happened today?!"

"Deidara, I can't do anything about those jerks insulting you, but I can make sure that you and I are semi-comfortable tonight."

"But-"

"Just get on the cot, please."

Biting back the objections he clearly wanted to voice, Deidara climbed onto the cot against the tent wall, with Sasori crawling in beside him. The Akasuna pulled up the covers over the two of them, and after a little fidgeting on both their parts the duo was ready to sleep. At least, Sasori was before Deidara started speaking again. "Danna?"

"Yes?"

"What am I to you anyway, un?"

"Honestly? I don't know if either of our languages have a word for it. You're the person I rescued from that backwoods planet and smuggled onto a government vessel, who helped make sure we were rescued by VUM, who went on secret missions with me for a vigilante force, and who put up with countless amounts of insults for all that. Actually, English does have a word for that."

"Un?"

"Friend. You're my friend. Probably my best friend, actually."

Deidara looked at Sasori. "You mean that, un?"

"Yeah. And I'm sorry that the Falks around here have been treating you so badly. But I swear, I'll do everything I can to protect you in the future, Deidara. That's what friends do."

Deidara gave the redhead a strange look. "Thank you, danna." Slowly, he reached towards the redhead's neck and gently brushed the side of it, fingers ghosting against a few strands of hair. "Deidara, what are you doing?"

The blond smiled and drew his hand back slightly. "You really need a haircut, Sasori danna, un."

"Pardon?"

"It's getting so long," Deidara chuckled. "It'll be as long as mine soon, see?" And he tugged on a few strands to make his point.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Well excuse me, but hairdressers are in short supply around here. Excluding Tobi, of course."

"I know. But we'll be here for a while, right? Tobi can cut it soon, un."

Sasori rolled his eyes again. "Deidara, go to sleep." The blond chuckled again before snuggling down in the cot as Sasori did the same. In a matter of minutes, they both were asleep.


	23. Chapter 22

Sasori was able to enjoy several hours of semi-peaceful sleep before he was rudely awakened by a hand shaking his shoulder. "Monsieur Sasori, please get up."

The redhead slowly blinked his eyes open, his vision blurry and muscles screaming at him for just a few more minutes of sleep. Sasori's internal sleep schedule had been completely wrecked over the past few days, and as a result his mind was so muddled and his body so sore that he would undoubtedly be useless for any task over the next few days more taxing than a simple patrol around the camp. As he groaned and waited for his eyes to focus, the hand that had shaken him glided over and shook Deidara as well. "You too, Deidara. Zis is urgent."

Sasori suddenly recognized the speaker's voice as Konan's, and moved to sit upright in bed so that he could properly greet the VUM commander. The poor woman looked worse for the wear, he was sad to say. Her once vibrant blue hair had been singed by fire, and most of her clothes were covered in a foul mixture of blood, oil, and soot. She was leaning heavily on the bed, easily as tired as Sasori but still managing to retain the aura of a commanding officer. "I apologize for ze lack of beds," she stated, seeing how close Sasori and Deidara were pressed together. "But for ze time being, zere is nozing I can do."

"It's fine," Sasori assured the woman. "You have bigger things to worry about right now than how comfortable the sleeping quarters are."

"Indeed. Now please come wiz me."

Sasori was eventually able to rouse Deidara from his slumber (and if anything the blond looked to be in even worse shape than him). Both of them finally got out of the cot and followed after Konan out of the tent and through the camp. Although they were underground, resulting in Sasori having difficulty telling exactly what time it was, the Akasuna guessed that it must be some time in the middle of the night, maybe even early morning. Very few Falks were out and about at this time, save for a few guards on patrol, and the MESS tent was completely dead. Sasori desperately wished that he was back in bed and sleeping like everyone else, but knew that if Konan had bothered to awaken the pair at this hour, she must have had a damn good reason. And so he suppressed his grumbles and yawns in favor of just following after the Falk.

Konan seemed not to notice any of this and led the duo nearly across the whole camp before they encountered what appeared to be the only permanent structure in the entire settlement. It was a small two-story building, made out of rocks and sheet metal that had been fastened together with concrete and shoddy welding. The trio stepped inside the building and walked to the back of the ground floor, entering a room which contained an exhausted looking Kisame sitting behind a large conference table. Apparently Sasori and Deidara weren't the only ones who had been unwillingly pulled from dreamland. "I am sorry for ze late 'our of zis meeting," Konan apologized as she shut the door and locked it behind her. "But what I am about to tell you is very sensitive information, and ze fewer risks of ze wrong people hear it, ze better for us."

"What happened in the jungle?" Sasori asked. They were all worn out, so in his mind the quicker they could get through this meeting, the better. Besides, the attack had been completely unprovoked and delivered without any warning, leaving the Akasuna anxious that another fight could happen again unless they were better prepared.

"It was an ambush, zere is no doubt about zat," Konan stated grimly. "Ze enemy knew exactly where to strike us and when."

"A traitor on the inside?" Kisame suggested.

"Oui. My men caught him trying to make a getaway when ze fighting started; naturally, zey bound 'im and brought ze bastard 'ere to question 'im." Konan hissed several things under her breath, probably against the traitor since Deidara nodded in agreement with her. "My men burned because of zat accursed traitor; I shall see to it zat 'is demise is just as painful." The woman shook her head, trying to calm herself down. "But we were able to get information out of 'im, at least."

"Did he know who was behind the attack?" Kisame inquired.

"Oui. Orochimaru." Deidara tensed at the name, prompting Sasori to place a comforting hand on the blond's shoulder. Unlike Konan, Deidara seemed to recognize this gesture and didn't pull away, but instead gave the Akasuna a brief smile in thanks. "We 'ave left zat man alone for too long, it would seem; ze bastard wished to spread 'is shipping network out into ze wilderness, and our campsite was in ze way. Additionally, it seems zat 'e was responsible for ze neurotoxin attack on ze ozer branch of VUM near us. Apparently, VUM settlements are now bad for business."

"Money?" Sasori gaped. "He killed all those people just so he could sell a few more guns?" It didn't make sense to him; the Falks were already suffering badly enough during this war without men like Orochimaru wiping out even more of them off the battlefield.

"What do you zink is more valuable to Orochimaru, a group of live rebels or a group of live slaves?" Konan hissed. "A man like zat only sees ze world in terms of what kind of profit can be made from it. It is true, 'e possesses enough power and weaponry to be a dangerous adversary, but our concerns 'ave been focused elsewhere until now. However, if Orochimaru is willing to attack us, zen retribution is in order."

"Let us help," Kisame asked. "Not all of my soldiers made it out of the camp." Sasori's stomach twisted at the revelation; he hadn't seen all the other humans yet, but he'd been hoping it was just coincidence that their paths hadn't crossed. Now he knew for sure that they'd never cross again.

"Of course, Monsieur Fishy," Konan promised. "But vengeance must wait until we recover. We are currently camped out in the old sewers of Regi; no one will look for us here."

"Regi?" Sasori whispered to Deidara.

"Second biggest city on Verden, after Domini," Deidara whispered back. "There was talk in my village of moving there because it was more accepting of refugees at the time than Domini."

"We will gazer our strengz," Konan stated. "And when we are strong again, we shall speak wiz ze informants living in zis city to find out where Orochimaru is 'iding. Zat man will not stay on his spaceship forever; some zings must be taken care of in person, I'm sure. And when he finally arrives to 'andle 'is business, we shall take care of ours."

"Regi…" Kisame muttered, shaking his head slightly. "Why is that name familiar to me?"

"Monsieur Fishy…I do not wish to get your 'opes up, because a long time has passed, but-"

"The receipt!" Kisame exclaimed, smacking his hand on the table in front of him. "The man who bought Itachi lived in Regi at the time!"

"Oui. Zat person may still be 'ere; Regi is a large city, well-defended and relatively safe from ze war. It is quite possible, zen, zat someone living in Regi two years ago would remain in 'ere for as long as zey were able to. But time passes, and people die or move on to ozer places for reasons unrelated to war. My men shall look into zis, but if it turns into an, 'ow you say, dead end, zere is nozing more we can do at zis point."

"It's ok," Kisame replied, forcing himself to calm down. "The safety of your people should come before one human's need to right a wrong he made years ago. Right now, being this close is enough for me."

"Thank you for your understanding," Konan said. "In any case, I doubt we will be fortunate enough to meet Orochimaru any time in the near future so we can finally rid ze world of zat monster. Zere will be time to look for Itachi during our stay in zis camp; I promise." Kisame nodded, content with this answer. "Final order of business. While I am in charge of the VUM as a whole, zis base is typically run by one of my subordinates, named Tsunade. She will decide what is and isn't appropriate for you to do will we are staying 'ere, wizin reason. I will 'elp you if she seems to be acting unreasonable, but if you deliberately do somezing to upset 'er or go against ze rules she 'as instituted for her camp, your moose is cooked."

"It's goose, but we understand," Sasori assured her. "I'll tell Tobi and Hidan first thing in the morning."

"Merci, Monsieur Sasori," Konan replied. "Your group 'as been manageable up until zis point, so I do not foresee any immediate issues with Tsunade, and will tell 'er such in ze morning." At this point, Kisame and Sasori both yawned. "But for now, let us rest. It is useless to plan too far ahead into the future when one is, 'ow you say, dead on zeir feet."

Grateful for being dismissed, Sasori and Deidara quickly left the building and made their way back to their shared little tent, quite happy to crawl back onto the cot and return to dreamland. At least, Sasori was; Deidara, on the other hand, chose to stay awake and stare up at the ceiling, mouth set in a grim line.

The last thing the blond wanted was to ever encounter Orochimaru again. The man was an albini Falk; of all the types of Falks that lived on Verden, the pale-skinned, dark-haired albini were said to have the worst tempers and coldest personalities. Thinking back on it, Itachi had been an albini too, but at least seemed to have emotions other than rage and greed.

Orochimaru, on the other hand, exemplified what it meant to be a heartless monster. He destroyed countless lives for the sake of building his own wealth, and treated everyone and everything around him as something disposable that could be tossed out when he grew bored of it. Frankly, Deidara was amazed that he'd been left alive for as long as he'd been under the man's care. He'd escaped before things could have gotten too bad for him, and now there was a chance that Deidara would have to face the subject of many nightmares once again.

Deidara turned his head to look at Sasori, giving the redhead a sad look. "Sasori danna, I'm sorry, un. But if Konan tries to make me face Orochimaru again…I think I'll have to leave you guys behind, un."

-n-

_Kisame grunted as he tugged on his boot, wishing that getting dressed all the way didn't have to be such a challenge. He was currently in his room, sitting on the edge of a very untidy bed as he tried to make himself presentable for the crew on board the ship. "Stupid military grade shoes," he grumbled._

_"You need to undo the laces," a gentle voice admonished from beside him._

_Kisame turned his head just in time to see a fully-dressed Itachi kneel down in front of him and begin to loosen the lace's on the human's boots. "If you don't undo them all the way, it will only cause trouble for you later."_

_"Thanks Itachi." With the Falk's help, Kisame was soon properly dressed from head to toe, which of course made the shark let out a sigh of disappointment. "I wish we didn't have to rush this every time. Hell, I wish we didn't have to hide it at all."_

_Itachi stood on his tiptoes to kiss Kisame briefly, giving the shark what he hoped would come across as an understanding look. "You know why we have to. After the war, things will be different."_

_"After the war, I'm getting a bedroom for us and keeping it locked for a solid week." Itachi smiled at Kisame's assertion and kissed the shark again. "Oh, but I have something for you for now."_

_"What is it?"_

_"A gift," Kisame answered as he began rummaging through the drawer on his bedside table. "Where'd I put it…"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I wanted to get you something," Kisame explained. "Here it is!" The shark thrust a small, hastily wrapped box into the weasel's hand. "Go on, open it," he urged._

_Itachi obeyed the command and quickly removed the wrapping paper, opened the box and peered inside. "Jewelry," he stated, though his tone failed to convey whether he thought that was a good thing or a bad thing._

_"Yeah. I, uh, wasn't sure what to get you, so I got a necklace with an inscription on it."_

_"'To my angel'," Itachi read, before looking up at the shark. "Why angel?"_

_Kisame looked uncomfortable now; maybe going with a pet name wasn't such a good idea after all. "You know how some humans, when they get really emotionally close, give nicknames to each other?" Itachi nodded. "Well that's my nickname for you. Angel. Because you're just so…perfect, really."_

_Itachi let the words sink in for a moment before giving Kisame the biggest smile he'd ever seen on the Falk's face. "Thank you, Kisame."_

_"Let me help you put it on," Kisame offered, already reaching for the necklace. "Just, lift you hair out of the way…there we go, that's it…"_

_Soon the shark had fastened the necklace in place, pleased that it dangled high enough to be fashionable but low enough that Itachi could hide it should the need arise. As he retracted his hands, however, his fingertips ghosted over strips of slightly darker, softer skin that ran down both sides of the Falk's neck. Itachi's eyes fluttered softly as a breathy moan slipped out. "Be careful," he whispered. "Unless you want to get back into bed right now."_

_"I do, but I know better," Kisame grumbled. "Time for us to go back on duty, angel."_

_"Kisame?"_

_The shark stopped himself from opening the bedroom door and looked at Itachi. "Yeah?"_

_"Might i…give you a nickname as well?"_

_Kisame grinned. It was so cute how Itachi tried to imitate human quirks to make Kisame happy. "Sure thing. Just don't think you have to rush picking one out-"_

_"I already have one in mind."_

_Kisame blinked in surprise. "Oh. Well, what is it?" Itachi beckoned for Kisame to come closer and bend down. Once they were barely separated, Itachi whispered something into the shark's ear and pulled back, making Kisame frown. "No fair, you know I don't speak Falk."_

_"I'll tell you what it means when the war is over," Itachi promised. "Once you get that bedroom for us."_

_"Going to be mysterious about this, eh?" Kisame shook his head and smiled. "Fine. But I'm holding you to that promise, all right? No backing out on it later."_

_"Hn."_

-n-

Kisame suddenly awoke from his dream, alone in an empty VUM tent and Kami knows how many miles away from Itachi. Grateful for the solitude, Kisame rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in his pillow, hoping that it would muffle his sobs.


	24. Chapter 23

-days later-

The infiltration into Regi had to be done with the highest level of discretion. Only half a dozen members of VUM would be allowed to go to the surface, and these six would be split into groups of two sent out over the course of a week, to avoid suspicion and decrease the likelihood of losing too many agents to capture or worse. It was obviously out of the question to allow any humans to enter into the Falk settlement, so some of Konan's most trusted men had to be sent into the city to speak with the informants. Among those chosen few were Deidara and Kakuzu. Deidara, though a recent recruit, had the skill and cleverness Konan required of the men who would be speaking to members of their intelligence network. Kakuzu had been in the VUM for years, and would not only protect Deidara on this assignment but also take out the blond in a heartbeat if Deidara did anything to betray the organization.

The two of them had left the camp early in the morning, disguised as ordinary civilians with no telltale VUM markings. Kakuzu was dressed in an oversized coat to conceal the money they would be bringing the informants, whereas Deidara was able to escape with a more formfitting coat. They'd walked through several miles of sewers before coming across an old ladder guarded by two Falks, who upon recognizing the pair as VUM agents let them ascend. Deidara and Kakuzu had climbed this ladder for what seemed like a small eternity, eventually arriving at a wooden trap door that opened into the ground floor of an abandoned building. Wincing against the cold, Deidara had helped Kakuzu and closed the trapdoor before they made their way out of the building and into the city proper.

Regi was hundreds and hundreds of miles north of the old VUM camp, as Deidara recalled Konan telling them. Spring was still a little ways off here; a chilly wind caused the blond to pull his coat tighter around him as they wove through the dilapidated old buildings that were brimming with poor, dirty Falks. Clearly this was a slum of the city, full of refugees that were struggling to get by. Kakuzu moved closer to the blond now; there was always a chance that they'd get jumped before they could get to their informants in Regi.

Deidara kept his eyes down as they walked along for quite some time. Everywhere he looked he could see hungry children, haunted-looking adults, and a few wretched souls screaming for revenge against the humans who had done this to them. Few kids played in the streets; most of the ones Deidara encountered ran up to him with hands outstretched, hissing and clicking for some assistance from the newcomers. Eventually Kakuzu and Deidara made it to a street that was well-kept enough to allow for taxi travel; they hailed a vehicle and gave the address for the first client, who lived several miles away and could not have been reached if the duo continued to be assaulted by begging children at every turn.

"_Have you heard the latest news on the peace talks_?" the cab driver asked, trying to make conversation with his passengers as they drove off down the busy city street.

"_No, what's happened_?" Deidara inquired.

"_That human general, Zetsu or whatever, gave another announcement that he wants to try and negotiate with his Highness. Says he'll pull out the troops and help us rebuild if we admit that the attack on their moon was intentional and help them repair the scarring. Heh, like it'll ever happen now that General Suigetsu's missing_."

"_What? When did that happen_?!"

"_You been living in the middle of the plains with the meridics or something_?" the cab driver asked, giving the pair a scrutinizing gaze. "_It's all anyone's been talking about for weeks_!"

"_Sorry, we just arrived this morning. Our homes were, you know…_"

"_Ah_." No more needed to be said; it was a common enough refugee story. "_You have family here then?"_

"_A friend. He'll look after us for a while_."

"_Must be some friend, living out of the slums right now_," the cabbie remarked as he slowed the vehicle and pulled up to the curb. "_Here he is."_

Deidara thanked the man and gave him his fare with a small tip besides. Once the driver had pulled away, intent on finding another passenger, Kakuzu led the way into the building and to their contact. Hopefully he would be able to help the VUM.

-meanwhile-

"So boooooored," Hidan whined from his cot. "Sasori, entertain me."

"How exactly am I supposed to do that with Tobi cutting my hair, hm? I'm sure he doesn't want to accidentally snip off part of my ear for your amusement."

"That would be very messy," Tobi agreed as he continued to trim his friend's hair.

The three of them were currently staying in Hidan and Kakuzu's shared tent, Hidan lounging on his cot and Sasori sitting on Kakuzu's while Tobi gave him a long overdue haircut. Hidan still made a number of Falks uncomfortable, which was especially troubling now that they had to settle into a new camp. Konan and the local leader, Tsunade, had agreed that for the time being it would be best to keep Hidan isolated from the other rebels until Kakuzu got back, and had asked Tobi and Sasori to stay with him so the zealot wouldn't get lonely (or incredibly angry, more likely). "Just do whatever it is you do when Kakuzu's here," Sasori suggested.

"It's not the same!" Hidan protested. "Kakuzu and I can have these, fuck, I don't know…like, we talk, but we're not talking 'cause he's missing half his fucking throat, you know?"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Sasori thought about that for a moment. "So, what do you two…not talk about, I guess?"

"Fuck you. And just…stuff. His family's gone, so the VUM's all he has. Apparently that's true for a lot of people under Konan. And I think he's worried about what's going to happen to everyone after the war. Like, these fuckers aren't on anyone's side, they're just trying to keep the death count as low as possible, so sometimes that means helping humans, and sometimes Falks. Shit, it's a mess."

"Wow."

"Tobi feels kinda bad for them," the masked soldier remarked as he combed through Sasori's hair. "It must be hard, not to have a home to go back to when the war is over."

"Hey, when the war is over, how long do you think they'll keep us on Verden?" Sasori asked. "They can't just pull out everyone at once; and there was talk of helping rebuild at one point, right?"

"Hell if I know," Hidan replied. "But it'll be weird, you know? I've gotten attached to these fuckers; even that dumbass Kakuzu isn't so bad, sometimes. Once we go home, we'll probably never see them again."

Sasori frowned at the thought. Part of him was always thinking of Earth, and his grandmother, and how he'd get by once he no longer had to fight in the human army against the Falks. But another part of him had grown to enjoy spending time with his fellow soldiers, Kisame, Konan, and especially Deidara. Dear Kami, what was he going to do if the end of the war really did separate him from all these people forever?

"Ok Sasori, Tobi's all done!" the Uchiha cheerfully stated. "Here, I know it's a small mirror, but it's the only one that the girls would let me borrow!"

Sasori took the compact from Tobi's hand and briefly glanced over the haircut. "Great job Tobi."

Tobi beamed in appreciation of the compliment and took the mirror back. "All right Hidan, you're up!"

"Fine, but if you give me a buzz-cut, you're dead."

-n-

Deidara and Kakuzu were not having much luck getting information out of Konan's connections. The first three hadn't heard a thing about Orochimaru, and the fourth only knew that Orochimaru was set to resupply his ship sometime within the next six months, but couldn't give them anything more specific than that. Needless to say, Deidara's patience was wearing thin by the time they arrived at the home of the fifth and final informant. _"Not one of them knew anything that was worth the effort of seeing them, and we'll have to walk back now because we ran out of money for cab fare," _Deidara hissed as they knocked on the apartment door. "_What was Konan thinking?" _

The door was answered by an old man with black hair. "_Who the hell are you_?"

"_The repairmen,"_ Deidara quickly answered, remembering the password quite easily by the fifth time. "_We heard you have some wires that need a closer examination_."

"_About time you showed up. Come in_," the elder beckoned, ushering the two Falks into his apartment.

Unlike the other informants, whose apartments were rather bare and free from personal items, this place at least had a few books on a shelf and some pictures hung up on the walls (though none of them contained any family members, of course). Deidara and Kakuzu immediately sat down in a couple of chairs that had been set up in the main room, probably in anticipation of their visit. "_What is it that our illustrious leader wants to know this time__?"_

"_We're trying to find information on a man called Orochimaru_."

"_What about him_?"

_"He's set to restock his supplies in the near future, from what we can tell. Do you know when he'll be coming to Regi next_?"

"_No idea. He's been laying low for a while now; something bad must've happened to his suppliers. I'll have a few of my men look into it, but of course I can't promise we'll find anything new before you do_."

"_Damn it_," Deidara cursed. Another waste of time.

"_Sorry kid. Anything else you want to know, though_?"

Deidara decided it couldn't hurt to ask about a certain missing Falk while he was here. He'd been inquiring about Itachi at Konan's request, but so far no luck locating the weasel either. "_We're looking for a former informant called Itachi Uchiha. Orochimaru sold him to someone in Regi about three years ago; I know it's unlikely, but-"_

"_Wait. Is this Itachi by any chance an albini? Very soft-spoken, used to be a soldier_?"

Deidara felt a flicker of hope spring up in his chest at the question. "_Yes, un_!"

_"I think I may know who you're talking about,_" the informant stated. "_He's staying with a member of my information network, working as a code breaker. I'll give you the address; and no, I have no interest in knowing what you want from him. The less I know about what you rebels are doing with my intel, the safer I am._"

The man wrote an address down on a scrap of paper and handed it to Kakuzu, who quickly exchanged the paper for the man's payment. Trade made, the informant was quick to shuffle the duo out of his apartment, locking the door behind them. One could never be too careful in these times.

Deidara remained calm and collected on the outside, but inside he was jumping for joy. Finally, in this miserable and destructive war, something good was going to happen! Separated lovers could be reunited, and a morale boost like this would do wonders for his friends.

Still, the humans were to be returned to their army after Itachi and Kisame were reunited; meaning that soon he and Sasori would be separated from one another. It wasn't fair; after everything they'd done together, after nearly dying on several separate occasions, why did they have to be split apart? Deidara could probably ask Sasori to stay with him, but he doubted the human would agree to such a thing. There would be no guarantee for Sasori's safety in the VUM, nor any chance that he would be able to reunite with other humans any time soon. Besides, Konan would probably shoot down the idea as soon as Deidara suggested it.

Kakuzu and Deidara at last arrived at the decrepit building that would lead back into the sewers. As Deidara reached down to lift the trapdoor, however, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He looked to see that Kakuzu was now holding out a letter to him, addressed simply as: "_To Deidara; from Konan_." Curious, the blond took the note and began reading it.

"_Deidara, if you are reading this then you have finished the information collecting I asked of you, and you are somewhere private where it is safe to read this message. Listen to me; I know what you are attempting to do with Monsieur Sasori. Kakuzu has seen you stroke his neck on a number of occasions, and if he's seen it then others have as well. You must stop this immediately; you are only putting yourself and the other humans in danger right now. It is unfair to us, and especially to Monsieur Sasori, who I'm certain doesn't understand the meaning of such touching. Please listen to my advice here. Destroy this note after reading."_

By the time Deidara had reached the end of the note, he was practically shaking with terror. He quickly shredded the note into miniscule pieces, which were then hidden in the bowels of a number of garbage heaps. After making sure that no one had seen him dispose of the evidence, he returned to the trapdoor and quickly lowered himself into the passage, all without a word to Kakuzu.

-m-

Deidara and Kakuzu arrived in the camp a while later, surprised to find it mostly empty. Then again, it was close to dinner time; most of the rebels were probably in the MESS tent at the moment, chowing down on whatever new shipment of food had arrived in the wee hours of the morning before he and Kakuzu had set off.

Seeing a perfect opportunity to speak to Kakuzu in private, Deidara quickly beckoned for Kakuzu to follow him to the edge of the camp near Kakuzu's tent. "_Look, I'm not mad at you. I understand why you had to tell Konan what you saw_," Deidara clicked rapidly in a quiet voice. "_I'll be more discreet, but I can't stop this thing with Sasori_."

Kakuzu gave him a stern look.

"_You don't understand what it's like! Being around a human and wanting them so badly that it hurts…I can't help it. Please, I'll be more careful; just don't tell Konan any more about this."_

Kakuzu reluctantly nodded in agreement; Deidara was one of the few Falks that treated Kakuzu like he wasn't a deformed monster. Whatever went on in the privacy of Deidara's tent didn't concern him anyway; the bigger issue was Deidara's touching Sasori outside the MESS tent, where anyone could catch sight of the gesture.

Please with the agreement, Deidara thanked Kakuzu and took off towards the MESS tent, intent on getting at least one good meal in before they were forced back to eating rancid leftovers. Kakuzu decided to first visit his tent and let the humans know that it was time to eat.

Much to his surprise, however, he found that Tobi and Sasori had already vacated the area, leaving Hidan alone and asleep on his cot. This was one of those rare moments when the zealot wasn't screaming or bitching about something, and looked rather peaceful. Kakuzu felt as though something was pulling him closer and closer to the slumbering zealot, until at last he was standing directly over Hidan. Cautiously, he extended his hand towards the slumbering soldier, bringing it closer and closer…

And suddenly the Falk's hand was reaching for the blanket instead, pulling it up until Hidan was properly tucked in. Satisfied, Kakuzu exited the tent and followed after Deidara towards the MESS. When Hidan inevitably woke up, he'd certainly be hungry; Kakuzu could at least get the man some decent food.


	25. Chapter 24

Deidara had gone straight to Sasori to tell him the good news about Itachi (right after he'd eaten, of course). Sasori was positively ecstatic; finally, some good would come of the humans staying on Verden! He suggested that the pair of them go straight to Kisame's tent, seeing no need to keep this information from his friend. Sasori himself really didn't need to be there himself, but felt that revealing such emotion news might cause an outburst that might need a translator, either for language or context. It was with these thoughts in mind that the redhead and the Falk entered Kisame's tent.

Sasori expected many reactions from Kisame when Deidara finally told the man about locating Itachi. He was certain the shark would be relieved, excited, overjoyed, and above all eager to leave the camp immediately to find Itachi. What he hadn't expected was for Kisame to panic like a schoolgirl about to face their longtime crush.

"He's here?! Oh crap, what the hell am I going to say to him?!" Kisame groaned and began rapidly pacing his tent, running his fingers through his hair with quick, agitated strokes as Sasori and Deidara looked on from their seat on his cot. "I've thought about what to say, but it never comes out right, and if I say the wrong thing he'll hate me for the rest of eternity! Oh, but if I don't see him soon and he finds out that I didn't immediately look for him, he'll definitely never want to speak to me again, and-"

"Danna, are all humans this upset when they get good news, un?" Deidara asked as the shark continued to babble.

"He's just a bit nervous, Deidara. Too many hypothetical issues."

"Un?"

"He's thinking about everything that could go wrong, and it's making him unhappy," Sasori tried to explain. Feelings were especially difficult to explain to Falks, he'd discovered; being more reserved by nature (when not attempting to tear each other to pieces, of course), they had a smaller vocabulary for emotional responses. Then again, they had more words for plotting and planning than Sasori had hairs on his head, so there was that.

"This is a nightmare!" Kisame declared, gripping his hair so tightly that Sasori was certain at least a few locks were going to be torn free of his scalp.

"Kisame, please be realistic," Sasori asked. It was a bit unnerving to see such a normally calm and composed leader fall to pieces like this. "Honestly, what is the worst thing that Itachi will do to you?"

"Considering that he's an albini, he might rip Kisame's throat out with his teeth, un," Deidara suggested.

Sasori blinked in surprise at Deidara. "That seems a bit…brutal."

Deidara shrugged, looking slightly less awkward when he did it now than he had in previous weeks. Practice makes perfect, and the Falk had certainly been trying his hardest to learn proper human body language. "Albinis don't take abandonment well, un."

"Exactly," Kisame interjected. "If I'm not incredibly careful here, I'll be on the ground bleeding out before I even get a chance to apologize to Itachi."

"How are you going to see him, anyway?" Sasori asked. "Konan said we can't just go into Regi; as soon as someone realizes we're human soldiers we'll be torn to pieces, maybe even publicly executed."

"We? What do you mean 'we'?" Kisame asked. "I'm the only one going up to the surface."

"I'm not letting you go alone," Sasori declared. "Particularly if there's a chance that you'll be murdered."

"Danna, that's suicide!" Deidara protested. "You need to stay down here in the camp where you'll be safe, un!"

"Kisame and I are comrades, Deidara," Sasori countered. "I can't just leave him to fend for himself!" Deidara hissed several things under his breath, but Sasori was not one to be easily swayed. "This isn't something that's up for debate, even if Konan herself tries to stop me!" Deidara hissed and clicked right in Sasori's face and then stormed out of Kisame's tent, probably to go sulk somewhere.

"Great, now I have to go after him-"

"Sasori, wait."

The redhead had been about to step out of Kisame's tent, but turned around at the sound of his commander's order. Kisame was frowning at him, an odd look on his face as he beckoned the solider to come closer. "Sasori, I need you to be honest with me here. You're not in trouble; at least, not yet."

"Kisame, what are you talking about?"

"Sasori, is there anything going on between you and Deidara right now? And I do mean in a romantic way."

"What?! Why would-no, of course not!"

"Then why exactly did Deidara scream, 'I don't understand why I love someone like you' right before he ran out of here?"

What? No really, what? Sasori felt as though the world was spinning around him as a thousand different thoughts and emotions raced through his mind. Deidara hadn't shown any signs of having a romantic interest in the redhead; but maybe he was just showing Falk signs? What would those even be? Why wouldn't he say something to Sasori, in English at least?

"I'm guessing from the look on your face that you really were clueless," Kisame eventually decided. "You might want to sit down too, before you faint."

Sasori's body responded automatically to the command, and he immediately sank down onto the cot behind him. The movement restarted something in his brain, and he finally regained the ability to speak, blurting out, "You can speak Falk?"

"Well enough," Kisame replied. "I started learning a few years ago."

"Why?"

"I have my own reasons. Suffice to say, a good commander should be able to speak the language of the enemies. Please don't tell anyone though; if it comes out now, they'll think I've been spying on them the whole time, and that would put everyone in danger."

Sasori nodded in agreement; he was in no hurry to divulge his commander's secrets. "You're sure that's what Deidara said then? There's no chance that you could be mistranslating?"

Kisame shook his head. "I'm positive. But Sasori, Falks don't develop romantic attachments overnight, especially to humans. Are you sure he hasn't done anything to suggest he likes you as something more than a friend?"

"Now that you mention it," Sasori muttered, thinking, "he's started to be a little more touchy lately. He kept talking about how long my hair was getting and brushing it back from my neck-"

"Ah."

"What?"

Now Kisame was starting to look uncomfortable, looking anywhere but at Sasori as his hand rose up and began rubbing up and down his own neck. "Sasori, have you ever really looked at a Falk's body? I mean, noticed the differences between our and their anatomy?"

"Just the eyes and ears, really. I assumed that there were other things different, but in the sense that they'd have an extra liver or something."

"There are more external differences," Kisame explained, "and one of them is their neck. Look at any of the Falks in this camp, and you'll see two strips of slightly darker skin going doing the sides of their neck. If you touch those strips, you'd find that they're very soft and sensitive."

"All right, but what does that have to do with Deidara touching my neck?"

"Well…" Kisame crossed his arms and looked away, a small blush coloring his cheeks. "Falks, um…shit, why don't they teach this in the academy…"

"Teach what?"

"Falks don't kiss. It's not that they have anything against it; they just developed different ways to show affection. And one of those ways is rubbing the strips on the side of their necks."

"So Deidara's been…Falk kissing me, or something?" Kisame nodded, making Sasori groan and bury his face in his hands. "Dear Kami…"

"You two need to talk this out, stat. Deidara was extremely lucky that no one else in the camp was within hearing range when he blurted that out, or we'd all be screwed."

"Right. I'll just…I'll think of something. I need some time though…" Somewhat dazed by Kisame's revelation, Sasori stumbled out of the tent to find his friend.

Kisame watched the redhead walk away to a safe distance. Then, he ducked out of the back of his tent and took off in the direction of Konan's personal quarters. Time to find a way up to the surface.

-meanwhile-

"Damn it, where the hell did Sasori go?" Hidan grumbled as he shuffled through the camp. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, catching sight of Kakuzu at his side as he did so. "I don't suppose you know? Or would even tell me if you did?"

Kakuzu silently stared at the zealot.

"Tch, should've expected that." Hidan yawned as he walked along and accidentally brushed against a passing Falk, causing the alien to spin around and hiss something at him. "Shit, sorry!"

Either the Falk didn't understand Hidan's apology, or he didn't care in the first place. He took a step closer to the silver-haired man and clicked something loudly. Normally Hidan would have responded to the aggression with a few choice words, maybe even a punch, but he was trying to behave for the sake of his commander. "Look, I didn't mean it. Seriously, I'm sorry." The zealot looked to Kakuzu and began to motion between him and the offended Falk, trying to nonverbally communicate the issue. "Can you do something?"

What happened next permanently changed the course of Hidan's life. The upset Falk hissed loudly and shoved Hidan hard enough to send the man flying. The back of Hidan's skull made contact with the ground, causing stars to dance across his vision. "Fucking OW!"

Hidan heard the sound of splintering wood as his vision began to clear, along with a great thump. He slowly sat up, eyes growing wide as he saw what had transpired to cause the noise.

The Falk who had shoved him was now lying still on the ground. Hidan could only see the body up to his shoulders, however; the rest disappeared into the remains of what had once been a wooden supply box that was now smashed in. Kakuzu was crouched over the downed man, his hand slowly retracting from the other Falk as he stood upright. It suddenly clicked in Hidan's mind that Kakuzu had knocked the other soldier out to protect the zealot. "Holy shit."


	26. Chapter 25

Konan was having an extremely rough day, even for her. Attempts to locate Orochimaru were not going even half as well as she hoped, and her people were starting to doubt that he would ever be found. On top of that, they still hadn't been able to recruit any new troops to replace the ones killed by the toxic gas in the jungle. Morale was plummeting, and her leadership of VUM was being called into question (though only by a few particularly disgruntled Falks, and never to her face). Needless to say, she was not exactly in a charitable mood when Kisame burst into her tent begging to go up to the surface to Regi.

"Absolutely not!" she barked. "You would be murdered by an angry mob wizout a second guess!"

"You mean second thought, and I have to see Itachi!" Kisame argued. "Please, I promise I won't be obvious about it! I could wear a disguise, or be smuggled up in a suitcase-"

"No means no, Monsieur Fishy! And why am I just 'earing about Itachi now?! Kakuzu or Deidara should 'ave reported zis to me as soon as zey returned to base!"

"I don't know about Kakuzu, but Deidara and Sasori came straight to me."

"And where is Deidara now?!"

"Er, sulking, I believe. He said something…inappropriate, I overheard and told Sasori, and now Sasori's-"

"What did Deidara say," Konan growled out.

Kisame felt awful for ratting out his friend, but lying to Konan would only come back to bite both him and Sasori on the ass. At best, it might distract her long enough to give him an opening to sneak up to the surface. "He said that he loved Sasori."

Konan slammed her hands down on the desk and began to click and hiss so rapidly that even Kisame couldn't keep up with her, though he was pretty certain he heard the words "stupid child" and "murder with my own hands" before she calmed down.

The conversation was temporarily derailed by a dark-haired Falk bursting through the tent entrance, looking extremely upset. He began to click at her, but switched to English when he noticed Kisame's presence. "Commander, there's been a fight."

"Is it really necessary to bother me with some skirmish?" Konan growled, clearly not in the mood to discipline whatever grunts had gotten into a scuffle. These were what her underlings were for; to make sure that small disciplinary issues never made it to her desk.

"One of the humans was involved; the one with silver hair. Kakuzu's knocked out Erik, and he's in the infirmary now."

Konan swore and rose to her feet. "Monsieur Fishy, come wiz me; Monsieur Loudmouth needs to explain zis, and 'e better 'ave a damn good explanation for us."

"Damn it to hell, Hidan," Kisame snapped as he followed after Konan. So much for finding an opening to sneak out.

-n-

The Falk and human leaders hurriedly marched into the infirmary, looking for the source of the fight. There was an injured Falk lying on a nearby cot, with two other Falks standing close to him. Kakuzu was seated on a cot opposite his victim, holding a cloth to his right eye. Hidan was sitting beside him, though he immediately rose to his feet as soon as he caught sight of Kisame and Konan. "It wasn't his fault! I bumped into that jackass (here he pointed to the other Falk) and I kept apologizing, but he fucking shoved me, so Kakuzu decked him, and then his asshole friends showed up and-"

"Hidan, shut up," Kisame snapped, and for once his subordinate listened to him.

Konan, meanwhile, was talking in a hushed voice with the injured Falk, his friends interjecting every now and again. Kisame ignored their discussion for now, focusing on Hidan. "Hidan, I swear that if you're lying to me-"

"I'm not! And I don't know why Kakuzu protected me! I swear, I didn't ask the dumbass to do anything for me-"

"Monsieur Fishy." Kisame jerked his head towards Konan, who was frowning at him and motioning for him to come closer to her across the infirmary. Once they were safely out of earshot of everyone, Konan whispered to him, "Listen, Kakuzu and 'idan need to get out of 'ere immediately. Tell them to go to zeir tent and stay put for a while, at least ze rest of ze day. Kakuzu 'as just a few scrapes and Monsieur Loudmouth is uninjured, so zere is no reason to keep zem 'ere. Send zem out now."

Kisame nodded and walked back over to Hidan, giving him Konan's message. He escorted Kakuzu and Hidan out of the tent, glancing behind him to see Konan still talking with the Falks. Apparently her line of questioning wasn't quite done.

-two hours later-

Sasori was lucky enough to find Deidara hunkered down in their tent, looking less angry and more exhausted now than when they'd last been together. The redhead had had some time to think about his situation and had at last come up with an appropriate way to approach Deidara about the matter. Well, appropriate might be the wrong word, since it was really just an effective way to get a reaction out of Deidara. He slowly walked into the tent and sat down beside Deidara, hoping not to startle his friend or make him run away. "Hey Deidara."

"Danna."

"I'm sorry about-"

"Don't. I know you're just looking out for Kisame, un. But please, please don't go with him to Regi, un! I don't want you to get hurt." He bit his lip and clutched his hands in his lap. "I'm tired of seeing people die, un. It hurts even more when they're my friends."

Deidara looked so distraught that Sasori was half-tempted to promise the blond that he wouldn't put himself in danger. He stopped himself from giving this promise, however, and instead began to implement his plan. He gently reached up to Deidara and lightly stroked the side of his neck, making sure to locate the softer, darker skin when he did so. Deidara immediately started to fidget and look uncomfortable. "Sasori?"

"You look tense, Deidara. I thought you might enjoy a neck rub."

"Danna-"

"Humans do it all the time. Here, let me show you." Sasori lifted his other hand and began stroking the other side of Deidara's neck, watching the blond for any sort of reaction.

Deidara squirmed around for a bit, looking like he wanted to speak but never letting out a sound. Finally he smacked the hands away and scrambled to the other side of the cot. "You can't do that, un!"

"What's wrong, Deidara?"

"You just…that's not…"

"What, you can show me affection but I can't do the same to you?" Deidara froze, eyes widening at the words. "Kisame told me what you're doing, Deidara. Don't try to deny it."

Deidara at least had the decency to look ashamed, wrapping his arms around himself and looking away from the redhead. "I'm sorry, Sasori. I never wanted this to happen, un."

"Why did you hide this from me? Do you have any idea how messed up this is?! You can't just-"

"I know it's wrong, un!" Deidara shrieked, rising to his feet with fire in his eyes. "I know that I shouldn't feel this way about a human, I shouldn't act like this around you! But you don't understand how much this hurts, un!" Deidara began to make soft chirping noises, unlike anything Sasori had ever heard out of a Falk. "I know that you're mad, un. Of course you'd make fun of me for this."

"Deidara, that's not what I-"

"Not what, un?! Not what you want?! Not part of the agreement when you rescued me on that planet, un?! I don't want this either, Sasori! I hate this feeling, I hate myself for feeling like this, and I hate you most of all!"

"Deidara-"

"I wish my ship had crashed and I had died before I ever met you, un!" Before Sasori could say anything (or even think of something to say) Deidara ran past him and shot out of the tent. Sasori didn't try to follow him.

-meanwhile-

"Dear Jashin, I don't even want to think about what Kisame's going to do to me when Konan finishes chewing out his ass," Hidan grumbled as he stared at the ceiling of the tent. "Seriously, this is bad. I got in a fight back in basic and ended up knocking over a fucking port-o-potty while my CO was inside. This is gonna make that fiasco look like a Jashin-damned walk in the park." Hidan was drawn out of his lament by a soft hiss, so quiet that he almost thought he'd imagined it at first. He glanced over to Kakuzu, wondering if the Falk had heard it as well.

As it turned out, Kakuzu appeared to be the source of the noise. He was attempting to re-bandage his injured knuckles but was having difficulty manipulating the bandage with only one hand. His uncovered head allowed Hidan to see the frustration on his face, making a bit of guilt well up in Hidan's chest. The Falk had been injured trying to defend him, after all. "Hey, Kakuzu." The Falk immediately looked up, setting his hands in his lap and trying to act normal. "You need some help with that?"

Kakuzu attempted to give Hidan a confused look, acting as though he had no idea what the Jashinist was talking about. Hidan was not buying it, however. "Oh don't give me that shit, dumbass. I heard you hiss a second ago." Seeing that this line of arguing was getting him nowhere, Hidan decided to change tactics a little. "Look, you got hurt protecting me, right? So let me help you with the bandages so I don't feel so fucking guilty about this." Kakuzu finally relented at this line of reasoning and extended his injured hand and a clean bandage.

Hidan sat down on a crate in front of Kakuzu's cot and set to work bandaging the hand. His hands gently ghosted over the Falk's skin without much thought, admiring how similar the texture was to human flesh. It was a little tougher overall, almost calloused in texture, but that was it as far as differences went. The Jashinist suddenly realized that he'd become distracted and quickly returned to bandaging Kakuzu's knuckles, praying that the Falk hadn't noticed what he'd been doing.

The wrapping didn't take long, and once he was finished Hidan turned the hand over a few times before leaning back, satisfied with his work. "There. That should hold for a while." He looked at Kakuzu with a smile and asked, "What do you think, Kakuzu?"

Kakuzu clenched and unclenched his hand a few times before he nodded in agreement. At this point the pair of them fell silent, neither sure of what to do now. A few moments later Kakuzu motioned for Hidan to come closer, and the Jashinist obediently leaned in. Kakuzu took a few deep breaths and leaned closer to him, putting his lips almost right against Hidan's ear. "Thank…you…" he wheezed out softly, making Hidan's eyes go wide. For the first time, Kakuzu had spoken to him.


	27. Chapter 26

Hidan's eyes widened at Kakuzu. "You can fucking talk?!"

Kakuzu suddenly doubled over and began wheezing, rubbing his throat and shaking his head. "Shit, you ok?" Hidan asked, doubly shocked now.

Kakuzu did his best to give Hidan what he hoped was a flat look.

"Oh fuck you," Hidan snapped as he reached under his cot and fished out his canteen. "Here, drink some water already." Kakuzu gratefully took the canteen and sipped at the water.

Hidan, meanwhile, was taking a rare opportunity to stop and think before making his next move. "I think I get it," he said at last. "Your throat's pretty fucked up, so you can't talk without hurting yourself. Am I right?" A nod was his answer. "So you just tell everyone you can't fucking talk, so they don't give you shit and try to make you talk." Another nod. "Jashin-damnit, Kakuzu…"

The Falk handed back the canteen and stretched out on his own cot with his back to Hidan. In the span of one day, he'd gone from being one of Konan's most trusted soldiers to some idiot that got into a brawl over a stupid shove. He was sore, he had an injured eye and hand to care for, and there was a very real chance that he was going to be demoted the next time Konan saw him. Clearly all he wanted was for both the day and the conversation to be over. Hidan was willing to let the matter drop as well and give them both some time to recuperate, but not before saying one last thing. "Hey, I swear I won't tell anyone that you can talk a little. Swear on Jashin himself."

Kakuzu briefly looked over his shoulder at the zealot and gave a slight nod before turning away again. Well now. If Hidan didn't know better, he'd think that he was bonding with a Falk.

-hours later-

Deidara was curled up into a small ball at the edge of camp, making soft chirping noises and glaring into the distance. Damn that Kisame for telling Sasori the truth! Without the shark butting in, Deidara could've just kept what he was doing a secret until he repaid his debt and Itachi was found, and then Sasori and all the other humans would go away forever and take Deidara's feelings with them!

The blond clutched his knees tighter. All right, that was probably a lie, but it was a comforting lie, and after his fight with Sasori the blond needed all the comfort he could get.

"Deidara?"

The blond jerked his head up, eyes widening as he confirmed his suspicions that Sasori was the one addressing him. His shock quickly turned into resentment, however, and he turned his head away from the Akasuna. "Did I mistranslate earlier, un? I don't want to see you right now."

"I know. But you could at least give me a chance to explain myself." Deidara didn't reply to that, so Sasori decided to go ahead with what he was planning to say. He sat down beside the blond leaned back on his hands, looking up at the metal plate above their heads. "It's a shame that we can't see the stars from down here. It might make my explanation a little easier to understand."

Deidara made no comment, but at least now he looked to Sasori from the corner of his eye.

"You see, humans have always loved gazing at the stars. We even looked for patterns of stars that seemed to make pictures and called them constellations."

"Constellations," Deidara slowly repeated, trying to log this new word into his already extensive English vocabulary.

"I know that for your whole life, Falks have been in contact with other planets," Sasori went on, "but for the longest time, humans were all alone. Lonely, cosmically microscopic life forms clinging to a tiny ball of dirt orbiting a lone star. But we always wondered if there was anything beyond the planets we could reach; some other life forms that could prove we weren't alone in this infinite universe."

"Was that the purpose of your satellite that we found?" Deidara asked, unable to stop himself from being drawn into Sasori's story.

"Partially," Sasori answered. "That's why we put all those languages together on a disc; so whoever found the satellite would know that something else was out there too. But here's the funny thing, Deidara."

"What?"

"The satellite you found was part of a pair. The other one is still floating through space, sending back messages to Earth. It's still drifting alone in an infinite void, and no one knows it's there except for a few scientists back on Earth."

"What's your point, un?"

"I'm sorry for this fighting," Sasori apologized. "Not just for the fight between you and me, but this whole damnable war. Humans can be skittish sometimes, and when they think there's a threat approaching, fighting is our natural reaction. But if that other satellite is still going, maybe the universe is a lot emptier than our recent contact with Falks has led us to believe. So we should value what we have. We should try to understand and be kind, so we don't lose one of the few friends that we know about." Deidara was now giving Sasori his full attention. "I don't hate you, Deidara. I still think you're my best friend. Just from now on, tell me when you're going to do any other Falk signs of affection. For all I know your species has sex by ear nibbling or something like that."

"Danna!" Deidara cried out, ears flattening themselves in what Sasori assumed was an embarrassed manner.

"I'm just saying," Sasori answered with a smirk, holding his arms up in gesture of surrender. "So, can we still be friends?"

Deidara smiled and nodded. "Yes. Sorry for-"

"Don't worry about it. The fight's in the past."

"Ok. But danna?"

"Yes?"

"What's an, 'ear nibbling', un?"

"…"

-n-

"Monsieur Fishy!"

Kisame froze in his tracks before slowly spinning around to face a perturbed Konan. He'd been caught sneaking towards the entry vent to Regi, after being told that he was forbidden to go after Itachi. This probably didn't help the increasingly tenuous relationship between the humans and Falks. "Oh, hi Konan," Kisame cheerfully said, hoping to mask his nervousness. "This, ah, isn't what it looks like-"

"Do not be playing ze mind games wiz me," Konan snarled, "unless you want your insides to be on ze outside very soon!"

"Konan, please!" Kisame begged. "Itachi's not just some fling I had! I…I'm completely head over heels in love with him. He means more to me than anything in this world or mine. I'd gladly give up my command if it meant I could see him again."

Konan hissed and rubbed the back of her neck in an agitated manner. "Fine. But you are not going up to Regi! I will make arrangements to 'ave Itachi brought to us at ze base. Until zen, will you please stay put and get your men under control?! I swear, zese constant disruptions by your underlings will be ze end of me!"

"Thank you Konan!" Kisame exclaimed. He was half-tempted to scoop up the blue-haired Falk in a bear hug, but decided at the last minute that he didn't want to have his throat ripped open before he could apologize. "I swear to you, you won't have a single issue with my men from here on out!"

"Good," the VUM leader replied, "because ze next time somezing goes wrong, you'll 'ave to deal wiz ze local commander Tsunade, and she is much less forgiving than I."


	28. Chapter 27

-two days later-

Kisame was nervously wringing his hands and pacing in a circle in the tent. This was it. He would finally get a chance to see Itachi for the first time in years. Now if only he could calm himself down enough to avoid fainting on the spot. "Shit, where do I begin when I see him?"

"I've had pretty good luck with 'I'm sorry' in the past," Sasori suggested. He was there for moral support, along with Deidara (who was more there to make sure Sasori didn't get caught in the crossfire than anything else).

Kisame shot his subordinate a flat look. "That's so pathetically underwhelming that I wouldn't blame Itachi if he ripped my throat out. Hell, I'd deserve it."

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of Konan's voice coming closer to the tent. She appeared to be animatedly chattering with someone, and upon entering the tent she could be seen laughing with an older Falk. The newcomer had snow-white hair and red lines under his eyes, yet didn't appear to be a day over thirty. Sasori decided this must be yet another variation of Falk genetics that gave the man his unique coloring.

Konan beckoned the man inside. "Everyone, zis is my dear friend and former mentor Jiraya. Zis man 'as been wiz Pein and I since ze beginning. You may trust zis man wiz your life."

Sasori was about to introduce himself to the man who'd received such a resoundingly positive introduction, but was stopped when he heard Kisame suck in his breath. Another Falk had entered the tent, and it didn't take a genius to guess that this one must be Itachi.

The new Falk had dark black hair that went down past his shoulders and was currently tied back in a ponytail. Deep scars ran down his cheeks from his eyes, clearly noticeable against his ivory skin. He was dressed in civilian garments and spoke softly to Jiraya. He stopped in mid-sentence, however, upon noticing Kisame.

For a moment, there was absolute silence and stillness in the tent.

And then in two steps Itachi was across the room and had backhanded Kisame so fiercely that he split the shark's lip. The Falk wasn't done yet, however, and began hissing and screeching at Kisame so violently that Deidara quickly yanked Sasori behind him and refused to let the redhead go for anything. Kisame held his hands up in defense and allowed himself to be backed into a corner. Itachi's tirade suddenly stopped as he slapped the shark again and stormed out of the tent.

Much to Sasori's shock, Kisame let out a sigh of relief. "Well at least he didn't rip me throat out. That counts for something, right?"

Sasori didn't have the heart to answer.

-n-

"Ok, try this one. _I am hungry_," Hidan motioned with his hands.

Kakuzu tried to repeat the movement , but his hands were much clumsier with the motions than Hidan's had been. "No, c'mon dumbass, it's like this." Here Hidan repeated the motion, albeit slower this time for Kakuzu's benefit.

Kakuzu had been placed on probation for the fight, and as a result was confined to his tent for most of the day for two weeks. Hidan, feeling guilty, had decided to spend as much time as he could with the Falk so that he wouldn't be lonely. They'd soon run out of things to talk about (or in Kakuzu's case nod or shrug at), so Hidan had decided to-

"What are Hidan and Kakuzu doing?" Tobi asked. The now-official errand boy for the camp had volunteered to bring the pair their food during Kakuzu's confinement, and had now brought them lunch.

"Sign language," Hidan answered. "Mom was hard of hearing, so me and my brother had to learn it early on."

"Oh! Tobi's sorry about your mom, Hidan."

"Don't be. It was fucking awesome to get away with swearing all the Jashin-damned time," Hidan replied with a grin. "And since Kakuzu's a mute, now he might be able to talk! Well, in a way."

Kakuzu quickly scribbled something on a piece of paper and shoved it towards Hidan. "Hm? Oh, thank you is this." Hidan made a quick gesture that Kakuzu copied towards Tobi.

Tobi nodded and disappeared out the tent door, calling back, "Sorry to drop the food and run, but Tobi promised to help the girls touch up their hair!"

"Tch, there's no way in hell the Falk girls are gonna give him up after the war's over." Hidan smirked and dug into his lunch, but was stopped by Kakuzu placing a hand on his arm. "What's up?"

"_Thank you."_

Hidan blinked in surprise, then shrugged and went back to eating. "Don't mention it. It's nice to actually be able to talk to you, instead of just wondering what's going on in your fucking head."

-n-

Itachi angrily shoved his clothes into the suitcase on his cot. Now he understood why Jiraya had requested that he unpack before meeting their host; if Itachi had known that he would be here, he would have bolted and locked himself inside Jiraya's safe house and refused to come out until Kisame was long gone, consequences be damned.

"Itachi?"

The Falk spun around to see a rather meek-looking Kisame standing in the doorway to his tent. "Please, can we talk?"

"I thought I made myself clear earlier," Itachi snapped. "I have no desire to see you ever again, never mind speak with you."

"I was an idiot, all right?! I've always been an idiot. You used to say that it was a miracle that I ever made it to the position of commander, remember?"

"You were supposed to trust me," Itachi hissed. "We were supposed to be a team. You left me to rot in a prisoner of war camp. Do you know what they do to Falks like me in places like those?"

"If I could redo the past, I'd go after you with everything in my power," Kisame pled. "I was angry and heartbroken. I didn't think that there was a single person in the group as smart as you that could have betrayed me."

"Leave me alone," Itachi snapped. "I don't care what you have to say anymore; you're years too late."

"Itachi-"

"Out. I'll tolerate you in Konan's presence, but I refuse to see you in my private quarters." Though if the weasel had his way, he'd be out of the camp by the end of the night.

Kisame slowly backed out of the tent, but before Itachi could close the flap he decided to give it one more shot. "For what it's worth, I still love you. I never stopped."

Itachi gave the shark a long look. "But I don't love you." And with that he closed the tent flap on Kisame, shattering the shark's heart into a million pieces.


	29. Chapter 28

-several days later-

"He hates me," Kisame stated flatly. "He absolutely, completely, totally despises me with every fiber of his being. I'm lower than the dirt in this campsite to him. I may as well just shoot myself in the face and be done with it."

The normally brash and chipper commander had been reduced to a sulking puddle of shark that showed little to no signs of every leaving his bed again for anything short of a total catastrophe. Sasori and Hidan, being the devoted souls that they were, were attempting to cheer up their leader. Well, Sasori was. Hidan was busy interpreting what Kakuzu was attempting to say whenever the (nearly) mute Falk wanted to throw in his opinion. Deidara was present as well, but seemed far more interested in observing Kisame sulk than anything else.

"He only said he didn't love you," Sasori pointed out. "That's different than saying he hates you."

"But he said that earlier when they first fought, un," Deidara countered. "And he also made several curses towards his mother and genitals, un."

"Albinis think with only emotions when upset," Hidan translated, watching Kakuzu's hand signs carefully and only half paying attention to the conversation as a result. "He may have just been venting years of frustration in one go, unlike Hidan who goes off-hey, dumbass, that's not true!"

Hidan was beginning to regret teaching Kakuzu sign language, since the Falk was apparently a smartass at heart and derived great pleasure from making jabs at Hidan whenever he got the chance, much to the Jashinist's chagrin and the delight of everyone else. Still, it did make communicating with Kakuzu much easier, and far less awkward than trying to gesture madly or write back and forth on a piece of paper.

"See?" Sasori pushed. "Itachi may have just flown off the handle a little bit."

"Un?"

"It's an expression, Deidara. It means he overreacted."

"Oh."

"You people are not helping," Kisame grumbled as he buried the side of his face in his pillow, facing away from his friends.

"Itachi simply needs time to adjust to the idea that you were just as hurt as he was by what happened," Sasori reasoned. "Give it a few weeks and try to make peace again. At the very least, you two could leave on better terms whenever we go home."

"Kakuzu agrees with Sasori," Hidan added. "So do I."

"I hate being patient," Kisame muttered. "Why couldn't he have just ripped my throat out and been done with it?"

Deidara gave Sasori a concerned look. "Does he really mean that, un?"

"No Deidara, he's just being over-dramatic."

"…Humans are weird, danna."

"Tell me about it," Hidan translated. "HEY!"

-later that night-

Sasori was suddenly awoken by Deidara jerking in his sleep and accidentally elbowing Sasori in the stomach. The two of them were still getting used to co-bedding, and Deidara was something of a restless sleeper. This wasn't the first time Sasori had been awoken by Deidara's erratic movements, but it was the first time that he was grateful to be awoken, because as soon as he became conscious he smelled a very familiar sweet scent.

It took mere seconds for his brain to process that what he was smelling carried the same scent as the poison from the Falk camp. Quickly the Akasuna sprang out of bed and grabbed the gas mask from his bag, where it had been living in the event that something like this were to happen again. His next priority was to wake up Deidara and press another gas mask against his face. "Deidara, get up!"

The blond was instantly up and alert, looking around for any signs of danger. "What is it, un?!"

"The poison, I can smell it here."

Deidara let out several high-pitched clicks and quickly strapped on his own gas mask. "We have to warn the others!" Sasori agreed, and in seconds the pair of them had tumbled out of their tent and split up, running through the camp to awaken their fellow soldiers.

Sasori immediately made his way to Kisame's tent and roused the shark from his slumber. Meanwhile, Deidara nearly had his head taken off by Konan's personal bodyguard, and it took him far longer than he would have liked to convince the man that they were been poisoned by a toxin that Falk senses couldn't detect. Konan, fortunately, woke up while this argument was going on, and quickly set the bodyguard straight. Within minutes the alarm was up, and the entire camp was scrambling to find their gas masks.

-n-

"I demand to know what 'appened to our security, now!" Konan shrieked an hour later in the tent that served as central command. She, Tsunade, Kisame, and a few of their most trusted men had been gathered together to discuss the security breach.

Sasori and Deidara had done an excellent job of waking up the other humans and VUM members, but lacking a plan other than waking them up and having everyone put on their gas masks, the camp quickly degenerated into near-chaos. Konan and Tsunade had fortunately taken charge and quickly brought the troops back under control, though not before a few tents were knocked over and several pounds of food supplies were trampled underfoot. Now the grunts were searching high and low for any evidence of the intruders while the commanders tried to figure out how the afore-mentioned intruders had managed to locate and attempt to poison the camp in the first place.

"I don't understand," Tsunade muttered. Kisame found the young blonde Falk to be kind but firm, and her voice carried no trace of a French accent. In fact, part of the reason she hadn't been promoted further within VUM's ranks was her trouble with human languages. Still, the woman could be trusted in a bind like this, and always was thinking three steps ahead before making any move. "As soon as you told us what happened in the jungle, we set up sensors and patrols to look for any signs of intrusion via…chemical warfare, I think you call it?" she asked, looking to Kisame.

The shark nodded. "So what happened to those sensors and patrols?"

"Zat is what we're trying to figure out now," Konan stated. She suddenly turned and looked at the men who were present behind her, spinning so fast that several of them flinched in fear of being hit. "Spread out and search zis entire sector!"

"But we already-"

"I want a second patrol sent out so we are sure of our results!" Konan hissed. "We'll move to ze secondary base in a few days, but before zen I want every stone overcooked and every alley deviled!"

"I think you mean overturned and delved, in that order," Kisame offered, but the soldiers had already taken off, leaving the three commanders to plan their next move. "So, where is the secondary base?"

"It's in a tunnel on the other side of Regi," Tsunade explained. "It's not as desirable a location as this base, but it will do."

"And how do we know that that base's location hasn't been compromised?" Kisame pressed. "Or that someone will follow us during the move?"

"Regi was originally an Albini city," Konan explained, "and was built underground to protect ze Falks from our sun's rays. Whoever attacked us would literally 'ave to explore an entire city of tunnels and map out every possible place suitable for a base, assuming zat ze tunnel walls do not cave in on zem or flood."

"That still doesn't answer my question about moving," Kisame went on.

Konan and Tsunade shot each other grim looks before answering the shark. "We'll send the supplies that are absolutely necessary in two cargo ships, along with some of our men," Tsunade explained. "But the rest of us will have to travel by walking…on the surface."

"Absolutely not," Kisame snapped as he slammed a fist onto the table. "My men would be eaten alive!"

"Zis coming from ze shark who was willing to risk such a fate to meet an old friend?" Konan inquired, being deliberately vague about Kisame's relationship with Itachi. She'd certainly guessed more than she was willing to say, and Kisame did not want to open that can of worms right now.

But that was a tangent away from the main issue, which the shark was unwilling to drop. "That was different when I was just risking myself! I'm responsible for making sure that my boys get home safely!"

"And they will," Tsunade stated plainly. "Konan informed me of your little arrangement to stay with her until you could reunite with your friend. Well she fulfilled her end of the bargain, and now you'll fulfill yours."

"You mean-"

"Before VUM moves out, we'll send a private call to General Zetsu himself and see that all of your soldiers are promptly returned to the humans, in exchange for leniency towards VUM operations, maybe even a few supply drops. Don't worry, Kisame; in two days' time, you and your soldiers will be safe at home, and will never have to set foot on Verden again."


	30. Chapter 29

It was as though Konan had handed down a death sentence to Kisame. His stomach sank down into the heel of his boots, and for a minute the shark was legitimately worried that his knees were going to give out on him. It couldn't end like this; he couldn't be sent back to Earth before he could make things right with Itachi!

But as horrible as that one moment was for Kisame, in the weeks to come he would have traded anything to travel back to this point in time.

A Falk suddenly burst into the tent, interrupting the conversation as he gasped for air. Normally Konan would never allow such an intrusion while the leaders were speaking on important matters, so this soldier either had gravely important news or a death wish. "Commander!"

"What is it?" Konan demanded. "'Ave you found ze source of ze attack?"

"Commander, it's horrible! The attack wasn't on us, it was on Regi!"

You could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Finally, Konan stuttered out a small, confused, "What did you say?"

"The gas flooded Regi's slums and sank down to us through the sewer systems! Some kind of militia is moving into the city proper; they must have been hiding out and gathering support for months!"

"Zat is impossible! Jiraya would 'ave said-" Konan stopped in mid-speech and hissed under her breath. "Jiraya betrayed us. I should 'ave known, when 'e didn't come to collect Itachi after learning of ze attack."

"Jiraya would never do that!" Tsunade shouted, slamming her hands on the table. "He's stuck his neck out for us so many times I've lost count! He cares about the VUM more than anyone else in the whole city of Regi!"

"Ze Jiraya I knew would not betray us, but zere can be no ozer explanation for a gap in information zis large," Konan argued. "And if Jiraya kept quiet about zis, who knows what else 'e didn't tell us. 'e may 'ave even informed zis mysterious adversary about our bases in Regi. Zis is bad; we'll 'ave to fall back to Emergency base LASAHO."

"Commander-" Tsunade began, but her plea fell on deaf ears.

"Evacuate ze base at once! All our defenses are to be considered compromised!" Konan immediately turned her attention to Kisame. "Get your men, get on a ship, and do it fast." As soon as the command was given she rushed out of the tent with the other VUM leaders in tow, screaming commands in her native tongue to the scout and nearby guards. Moments later, Kisame heard a dull boom and felt the earth quake beneath his feet. Compromised indeed.

-n-

Sasori had no idea how it had happened. One minute he and Deidara had been helping Tobi deliver various pieces of mail around the camp, and the next instant a messenger had run up and told them to drop what they were doing, and prepare to evacuate. A minor explosion punctuated his sentence as the Falks on guard duty rushed towards the tunnels that led to Verden's surface. The entire camp soon descended into a panic, and Deidara and Sasori had to fight their way back to their tent through crowds of screaming Falks. "I'm getting sick of always being on the run," Sasori snapped as he began shoving his belongings into his canvas sack as quickly as possible. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes, let's go, un!"

BOOOOOOOM

A massive explosion rocked the entire camp as debris from the metal ceiling above fell to the ground below. "Damn it, what's going on up there?" Sasori wondered aloud as he and Deidara regained their footing and bolted towards the ships at the edge of camp, having to divide their attention between panicking soldiers on the ground and a collapsing ceiling above.

In their rush they caught sight of Hidan, who was looking around in confusion as masses of shrieking Falks ran by him in an effort to escape. "Hidan, what are you doing!?" Sasori demanded, grabbing his friend by the wrist and pulling him towards the escape shuttles.

Hidan jerked his hand away, however, unwilling to follow his friend. "Kakuzu's missing. I think he's on guard duty in the tunnels!"

Another explosion shook the camp so badly that Sasori nearly lost his balance. "We can't wait for him here; it's suicide!"

"Tch, fuck that!" Hidan threw his bag towards Sasori and spun around, rush back towards the camp. "I'm gonna go find him! Wait for us, ok?!"

"Hidan-"

"Sasori danna, we have to move!" Deidara cried out, grabbing his friend and pulling the two of them towards the ships. Although it crushed Sasori to do so, the man had to follow Deidara and pray that Hidan would come back to them in one piece, hopefully with Kakuzu in tow.

-n-

Kakuzu, meanwhile, was running in the exact opposite direction of camp. The explosions above them were large enough to destroy skyscrapers, if his estimates of the blasts were correct. The tunnel system under Regi wouldn't be able to handle the weight of all that rubble suddenly smashing down on it; it was now only a matter of time before a total collapse occurred.

But he had a duty to his fellow soldiers to make sure that everyone got out of the side tunnels safely, and right now he was still a couple of men short. As soon as he got them out, it was back to camp to get on a ship and fly out of here. Konan's evacuation was probably in full swing by now, so the sooner he could wrap up this fiasco the better.

He suddenly heard shrieking from up ahead, accompanied by something that was making a high-pitched metallic wine. A soldier rounded the corner from the tunnel up ahead, shooting blindly behind him. "Run!" he shouted before a red blast sliced him in half.

Kakuzu's eyes widened in shock as a hulking machine rounded the corner. It was boxy and walked on four legs, albeit somewhat clumsily as it constantly seemed to be losing its balance. A single red orb set in the center of its body scanned the room, although what it was looking for Kakuzu couldn't tell.

The orb suddenly focused a beam of red light on him. Immediately thereafter, it began beeping wildly and turned its body to face the Falk. Ah, that was it.

Kakuzu leapt to the side just as the machine unleashed a series of red blasts in his direction. He took cover behind a pile of rubble and quickly extracted his gun from its holster. The body looked too sturdy to be damaged much by a small handgun, but if Kakuzu could damage the legs he could cripple the machine before it got any closer to camp. Still, damaging the machine would involve ducking out from cover for a moment, thereby making himself completely vulnerable for a few moments.

With a click of resignation, Kakuzu drew his weapon and ran to the side, hoping beyond hope to hit the robot before he himself was struck down. Whatever plan he had didn't matter, however, because at that instant a huge section of tunnel ceiling above them collapsed on the Falk and robot.

-n-

BOOOOM

Hidan collapsed to his knees as a massive tremor ripped through the VUM base. "Damnit, what the hell's going on up there?" As soon as the shaking subsided the Jashinist rose to his feet, holding his arms out to the side for balance. It might have made him look ridiculous, but Hidan had only a limited amount of time to evacuate his friend before it was too late, and he was not going to waste any of that time by falling again. Sasori and Deidara would probably buy him a little time by the shuttles, if not Kisame, but he still didn't want to press his luck. "Dumbass, what the hell are you doing out here?"

The Jashinist began running along the wall at the edge of the camp, peering down the tunnels jutting out from the settlement every now and again in the hopes of finding Kakuzu. The longer he went without finding his friend (or any live Falk, for that matter), the more anxious and desperate he became. "Dumbass, where the hell are you?!" he shouted as loudly as he could.

A slouching figure suddenly emerged from a tunnel in front of the Jashinist, leaning heavily against the wall. Hidan immediately recognized the dark head of hair and scars on the figure's arms as belonging to Kakuzu and charged towards his friend. "Dumbass, we have to go-oh shit."

Kakuzu was bleeding, and badly. A gaping wound on his right side was leaking dark black blood down his side and onto the ground, despite his attempts to stem the bleeding with his hand. Swearing again, Hidan ripped off his shirt and pressed it against the Falk's side. "What the hell happened?"

"_Tunnel collapsed_," Kakuzu quickly signed before taking hold of Hidan's shirt and holding it against his wound.

"Damn, that must've been the shaking I felt," Hidan muttered. "C'mon, we have to go." The Jashinist made to help Kakuzu walk, only to be pushed away by the Falk. He tried once again, only to be met with the same, slightly more forceful results. "Dumbass, what the hell?"

Kakuzu slumped down onto the ground and pointed back towards the camp. The gesture was obvious; Kakuzu intended for Hidan to leave him and save himself.

Hidan did what any reasonable and understanding man in his position would have done, and slapped Kakuzu across the face so hard that it jerked the Falk's head to the side. "Are you fucking serious?!"

Kakuzu stared up at the human in disbelief.

"Like fuck I'm just going to leave you behind!" Hidan swore, already bending down and trying to force the larger man to his feet. "We've been through too much shit for me to just leave your ass behind to get fucking flattened by collapsing tunnels! If you think for half a minute I'm gonna turn into some fucking chicken shit coward that'll abandon you, you're even more of a dumbass than I thought! Now get off your ass and start walking or so help me I'll haunt you for the rest of eternity when this fucking tunnel collapses on both of us!"

Motivated either by Hidan's words or Hidan's hands digging into his ribs, the injured Falk rose to his feet and leaned heavily on the human. Together, they weakly limped towards the ruined VUM camp.

-n-

"_We have to go now_!" a Falk soldier argued, hissing angrily at Deidara as he moved towards the door lock.

"_Close that door and I will rip out your eyeballs with my fingers and eat them_!" Deidara snapped, smacking the other Falk's hand away.

Deidara and Sasori had found themselves on the last remaining Falk ship, the other shuttles already having evacuated the camp long ago. They'd managed to keep the ship from taking off due to a combination of begging, bribery, and now threats of dismemberment. Deidara wasn't stupid though; he could feel the tremors above them getting more frequent and stronger with each passing minute. A total collapse of the nearby tunnels was now not just a possibility, it was an imminent threat.

As the two Falks continued to fight, Sasori leaned out the edge of the doorway as far as he could, squinting into the darkness in search of his friends. The power in the base had gone out not long ago, and now all the illumination available to the redhead came from the soft red lights installed on the edge of the ships. "Come on, Hidan. For once in your life don't be a total idiot…"

"Sasori, we can't wait much longer!" Deidara called out, once again smacking away the Falk's hand from the door lock. Given much longer, the two Falks would completely devolve into a full-blown fight, and judging from the other soldier's side Deidara would probably lose.

A flicker of movement in the distance caught Sasori's attention; a few moments later, he could make out two figures limping towards the shuttles. "They're here!" he called out before rushing out of the shuttle towards the figures. He truthfully had no idea if the newcomers were his friends or not, but hope was all he had at this point.

By some miracle of fate it turned out to be Kakuzu and Hidan, who were making terribly slow progress due to Kakuzu's injury. "Hidan, what happened?!" Sasori demanded.

"Dumbass is bleeding," Hidan grunted. "It won't fucking stop. We need to get him on a shuttle ASAP." Not hesitating for a moment, Sasori hooked Kakuzu's other arm around his shoulder and half-walked, half-dragged the injured Falk towards the shuttle with Hidan's assistance. They'd barely gotten onto the ship before the door was hurriedly closed behind him and the Falk soldier was shouting something into an intercom, probably telling the pilot that they were ready to take off. Hidan and Sasori had barely set Kakuzu down before the rumbling of the ship's engine caused the entire craft to vibrate, and in seconds they were off the ground and shooting off towards safety, wherever that may be.

"Shit, why won't he stop bleeding?!" Hidan swore. Kakuzu was still losing a lot of blood and had already bled through the Jashinist's shirt, staining Hidan's hands black as he pressed against the wound. "Sasori, get some bandages!"

In an instant the redhead was on the other side of the ship ripping the first aid box off the wall. He rushed over to his friend's side and crouched down, hurriedly extracting as much tape and gauze from the box as he could without making a mess of things. "This is all we have?!" he gaped, staring in disbelief at the mere handful of supplies the kit had provided him with. Someone must have used most of the bandages at an earlier point in time and had either forgotten to restock the box or else lacked the supplies to do so.

"Shit, gimme your shirt!" Hidan ordered. Sasori quickly took off his top and pressed it overtop Hidan's shirt, desperately trying to stem the bleeding. "Damn, Kakuzu, you a hemophiliac or something?" Kakuzu offered only a confused look, clearly having no idea what the word hemophiliac meant.

Deidara took a seat by Sasori and began to help the redhead tape the shirts down over the wound. "Falks are harder to hurt than humans, but it's harder for our bodies to heal, un," he explained. "Don't panic, un."

"Oh, pardon me," Hidan snapped, "I didn't mean to freak out, my hands are just covered in blood right now, that's all!" Ignoring whatever reply the blond was about to give, Hidan turned his focus to Kakuzu. "Don't go dying on me, you hear?! I'm fucking sick of seeing people die in this Jashin-damned war, and the next one isn't gonna be you, understand?"

Kakuzu glanced towards the Falk soldier on the other side of the room (who was still yelling into the intercom) and then grabbed Hidan in one arm and pulled him against his chest. Hidan made a startled noise, clearly not expecting something like this from his injured friend. Sasori only stared for a moment before he quickly turned his back to the pair and grabbed Deidara's arm, tugging the blond towards the other side of the ship. "Deidara, come with me."

"Why, un?"

"Privacy, Deidara."

Hidan paid no mind to the pair of them disappearing to the other side of the ship; he was too busy being confused as he was crushed against a muscular Falk chest. "Dumbass?"

"I'm fine," Kakuzu wheezed into his ear, voice softer and weaker than Hidan had ever heard it. "See?"

The Jashinist chanced a glance downwards and saw that Sasori's shirt, while stained darker, did not have blood dripping through it like Hidan's had done. Hidan was far from reassured by this, however. "We still need to get you to a doctor, stat," he argued. "You need actual bandages, and probably a fucking transfusion or something!"

"Calm down shii-shi," Kakuzu muttered before breaking into a coughing fit.

"Shii-shi? What the hell does that mean?"

"…"

"Kakuzu?" Hidan shook the Falk by the shoulder, trying to get some reply. "Oi, dumbass, say something." Still no reply.

The Jashinist leaned in closer and was startled to realize that Kakuzu's eyes had slid shut; the Falk must have passed out after his coughing fit. "Kakuzu, hey, wake up!" No matter how hard the zealot shook him, however, Kakuzu refused to respond. This wasn't good; despite the Falk's claims to the contrary, Kakuzu was clearly in need of medical attention. "Shit, dumbass, please be ok," Hidan begged, wrapped in the Falk's arms and covered in his blood.


	31. Chapter 30

LASAHO was an abbreviation of Last Safe Home, which was the VUM's most well-kept secret. Pein and Konan were responsible for its construction and upkeep; no other Falks knew where the base was, or exactly what went on there. This was due to the fact that LASAHO was not meant to be used except for dire emergencies, such as when the main base under Regi fell. This would in fact be the first time that anyone other than Pein or Konan had stayed in the base for an extended period of time, and the other Falks initially weren't sure what to expect when Konan gave them the coordinates for LASAHO during the evacuation.

As it turned out, the Falk stronghold was at the bottom of a very deep, very flooded mineshaft that hadn't been operational for about a hundred years. It was a tight squeeze in some spots to make the shuttles avoid the murky water below and the rocky ceiling above. Eventually the narrow tunnel they traversed opened up into a huge cavern that housed a massive lake. In the center of this lake floated several old warships welded together that seemed to be as deserted as the rest of the mineshaft. It wasn't until Konan's ship landed and the woman began activating the electrical systems that the lights flickered on and gave the Falks some hint that this was their destination.

Sasori and Deidara's ship had barely touched down on the deck of one of these ships before a Falk soldier had burst through the rear door to get a head count. "Any fatalities?" he asked gruffly.

"Kakuzu's passed out and he lost a fuckton of blood," Hidan called out from his place beside the mute Falk. The newcomer barked out a series of orders in his native tongue, and moments later two Falks with a stretcher were hurrying onto the shuttle to tend to their fallen comrade. Not caring what anyone would say about him for doing so, Hidan followed the Falks off the ship at a short distance, eyes never leaving Kakuzu.

Sasori had just long enough to wonder about what he should do now before a familiar head of short blue hair appeared in the door. "Sasori, there you are!" Kisame exclaimed with visible relief as he stepped onto the escape shuttle. The calm on his face dissipated somewhat when the shark took a moment to look around the shuttle and failed to find something. "Where's Hidan? Don't tell me that idiot-"

"Kakuzu was injured in the evacuation," Sasori replied. "Hidan followed him into the medical facilities, wherever those are."

"And of course he didn't even think to check in with his commanding officer first," Kisame grumbled, but he was too relieved at having all his men accounted for to be too upset at the Jashinist. "We were very lucky; from what I can tell, there are only a few bumps and scrapes among all the troops who made it here. The biggest losses we suffered were the supplies we had to leave behind and the collapsed tunnels, but we can't know for sure until they get a complete head count."

"Kisame, what is going on?" Sasori demanded. "Why did we have to run? What happened at Regi? What will we-"

"Sasori, if I could answer any of your questions I would," Kisame promised. He looked briefly at the two Falk soldiers across the room who appeared to be deep in discussion, and then pulled the redhead aside to speak to him in a low whisper. "Right now Konan and I are almost as clueless as you are. There was some kind of coup in Regi, but we don't know who was behind it or what their goals are. All I can tell you right now is that you and the others need to get into the base and find a room to settle down in, maybe help unload the supplies from the other shuttles if you can."

Sasori let out a sigh of agitation as he hefted his bag onto his shoulder and motioned for Deidara to do the same. "I'm really sick of being left in the dark," he grumbled as Kisame led him and Deidara off the shuttle. "When are we going to get some answers?"

"I don't know," the shark replied darkly. "But if we don't get something soon, VUM is going to be in deep trouble."

-n-

Hours later Konan was able to get a report from Regi on the current situation. Apparently the coup had been perpetuated by a group that called themselves the Sound Minds, a radical organization that felt the current government wasn't doing enough to counter the "human menace" as they called it. Right now the capital of Domini and the governing council were safe, but there was no guarantee that things would stay that way for long. This put VUM in an uncomfortable position, as Konan was quickly finding out when she gathered her commanding officers in the meeting room. "_I don't see any reason to change our operating procedure_," Pein stated amidst murmured agreements. _"We've never been formally allied with the central government, and there's no reason to ally ourselves with the Sound Minds! Besides, what reason is there to believe that they'll be able to hold the capital once the army has a chance to regroup_?"

_"We can't know how long it will take for the army to muster up enough forces to respond to this!_" Tsunade argued. "_The bulk of their attention is devoted to fighting off the human forces in orbit around Verden! And if Jiraiya really did betray us, then the Sound Minds know about our existence and will try to wipe us out unless they see us as their allies!"_

"_And how exactly are we supposed to make that case, when we're harboring a major human commander and his troops?!"_ Pein shot back. "_We're not going to hand them over to a group that actively refers to them as a menace; they'd be dead before we lost sight of them!"_

"_Both of you, enough_," Konan snapped. "_I am far more concerned about having to reestablish a central command center than I am about whether or not we should ally ourselves with a rouge terrorist group. In case you haven't noticed, our medical facility is understocked, we barely have enough food to get through the next few days, and one of my top officers and several of his subordinates were shot by something in the tunnels! We will worry about the issue of the Sound Minds when it becomes an issue, and not a moment before then! For now, I want you to settle your subordinates into your new living quarters and prepare for several retrieval assignments over the next few days. Is that clear_?" Muttered grumbles of assertion came from the troops before they were dismissed, leaving Konan alone with her thoughts. "_Please, whatever gods may be up there, give us something_," she begged.

-two days later-

Kakuzu licked his lips in an attempt to alleviate his thirst. He'd finished the glass of water on the table by his cot, so if he wanted a drink he'd have to go down to the MESS and get some water from there, which did not seem particularly appealing to a Falk with fresh stitches in his side. On the other hand, dying of thirst was probably worse. Sighing, he swung his legs over the side of the cot and began to sit up-

"Take one step off that cot and I'll kick your ass."

-and then sighed in defeat as he lay back down. Hidan was standing in the doorway with two trays of food in hands, meaning that he had to kick their door shut. The pair of them had been given a room to share after Kakuzu had been treated, and to their delight the accommodations here were roomier and sturdier than their little tent under Regi. Kakuzu especially had gained quite an appreciation for their lodgings, since Hidan was refusing to let him leave the room. "_Hidan, I'm fine_," Kakuzu signed as the zealot set down a tray of food on the table. "_I've been through worse_."

"Oh like that makes it any better," Hidan snapped. "I was soaked in your blood, Kakuzu, so forgive me for flipping a shit." The zealot helped his friend sit up and set a tray on his lap. "Now eat. I've gotta check on your stitches."

Kakuzu resigned himself to his fate and allowed Hidan to pull back the bandages on his side to look at the stitching underneath. "Jashin damn, these docs are pretty good," he remarked before re-taping the bandage. "Still, you're gonna have one hell of a new scar."

"_Just one more_," Kakuzu signed bitterly.

Hidan realized his faux pas too late and cursed himself for it. Of course Kakuzu was sensitive about his scars, that was why he went to such great lengths to cover them up. He knew that better than anyone. "Sorry Kakuzu."

"_Don't worry. I know you're not cruel, just an idiot_."

"Hey!" Hidan exclaimed in indignation. "You're lucky you're an invalid, otherwise I'd kick your ass. Stupid Falk, I hope your stitches get infected and turn green!"

"Calm down shii-shi," Kakuzu whispered, enjoying seeing the Jashinist get so ruffled up.

"You ever gonna tell me what that means?" Hidan asked, not at all surprised when the Falk shook his head. He'd been trying to get an answer out of Kakuzu since the Falk had been released from the medical bay, all to no avail. "Come on, tell _meeeee_," he whined in his most annoying tone. Kakuzu frowned at the noise, only encouraging Hidan further. If you can't beat 'em, wear 'em down. "Dumbass, you're stuck in here with me all day, and if you don't tell me I'll _whine_ like _this_ until you _answerrrrrr_-"

At that point Kakuzu had had quite enough of Hidan's bitching and decided to shut him up. Quicker than human eyes could follow the Falk was up and had flipped Hidan, pinning the human to the cot by his shoulders. Hidan's eyes widened in surprise, having wrongly assumed that his friend was in no condition for that kind of moving. "Shit, where'd you learn to do that?"

"…"

"Hm? Dumbass, what is it?"

Kakuzu was giving him a very strange look, but without a strong knowledge of Falk facial expressions Hidan couldn't quite place it; though there was something about it that reminded Hidan of the look he'd seen on Kakuzu's face when the Falk had tried to calm him down on the escape shuttle. "Kakuzu?"

The Falk shut his eyes and slowly lowered his head until his forehead was against Hidan's. The Jashinist felt his face heat up at the contact, but said nothing. Where was this coming from? What was Kakuzu trying to do? And why wasn't he stopping the Falk?

Cautiously, Hidan raised his hands to grasp the forearms above him that were still pinning him down, squeezing the scarred limbs gently. Kakuzu opened his eyes and drew back from the Jashinist, giving the human another strange look. Before Hidan could speak, however, Kakuzu winced slightly and shifted his weight to one side. Hidan looked down to see what might have caused the Falk to react like this, and could see the bandages on Kakuzu's side darkening. He blinked once. Twice. Thrice. "You fucking dumbass, YOU RIPPED YOUR JASHIN-DAMNED STITCHES!"

A surge of adrenaline gave Hidan the strength to throw Kakuzu off of him and back down onto the bed, where he immediately began swatting every square inch of Falk that he could reach. "I told you not to fucking move because your dumb ass was injured, but no, fuck that shit, you just had to throw me around and rip your stitches like a MOTHER FUCKING ASSHAT IDIOT!" Kakuzu could merely cower below the enraged Jashinist and shield himself from the swats, which while not forceful enough to actually harm him did necessitate that he take his hands off the human to guard against them. Needless to say, it was quite some time before either of them got around to fixing the Falk's injury.

-n-

Sasori and Kisame were both seated in front of the desk in Konan's office, having been summoned here late at night and told that the meeting couldn't wait for anything. The blue-haired woman had several files spread out on her desk, and she was looking at the duo with a grim expression. "We've made some progress that I want you two to 'ear about."

"What's happened?" Kisame inquired.

Konan pulled one of the files in front of her and began skimming its contents. "Ze Sound Minds group was able to take over Regi using neurotoxin in ze slums. We recently found out in addition zat plasma rifles were used to suppress military power in ze more upscale districts. Both of zese indicate zat Sound Minds are being aided by Orochimaru. Our top priority is now to find zis bastard."

"Wait, what does Orochimaru stand to gain by taking over a major city?" Sasori demanded. "The attacks on VUM I could understand, because he was clearing small rebel groups out of a few remote spots. No one would have the time or see the need to bother him with the war going on. Stepping up his attacks to go after Regi…that just doesn't make sense!"

"Oui, it strikes me as very strange as well," Konan agreed. "But we 'ave yet anozer concern right now. I sent some of my men to clear one of the tunnels that Kakuzu reported seeing an attack robot in. They were unable to extract the body but took plenty of pictures for me instead." Here Konan pulled out a picture from the file and handed it to Sasori. "Recognize somezing?"

Sasori's eyes widened as he stared at the picture. It was partially obscured by the rubble surrounding the downed machine, but he could clearly make out the inscription NADSRaD. "What the hell?"

"Exactly," Konan replied as she passed the picture to Kisame. "First in ze mine, zen in Zabuza's library, and now here in a tunnel under Regi. I cannot ignore all zese run-ins, Monsieurs Fishy and Sasori. So I 'ad some of my subordinates do a little investigating on ze company. We found some zings zat I believe you should know."

"Such as?" Kisame asked, not liking where this was going.

Konan took hold of another file from her massive pile and flipped it open. "The company 'as been conducting observations and experiments in your planet's oceans for years. Unfortunately, ze wartime economy 'as not been kind to zem. After ze army cancelled all contracts with NADSRaD, zere were difficulties in making…ends meet, I believe? NADSRaD actually declared bankruptcy over six months ago."

"Then why are we finding stuff with their logos all over Verden?" Kisame demanded.

"I agree, it doesn't make any sense. And Monsieur Sasori, when my researchers looked into zat report you told me about a possible underwater colony, zey could find no records of NADSRaD ever publishing such a document. Now before you can protest, I believe you zat a report of zat nature was published at some point. We found massive gaps of information missing in their records, sometimes months at a time. It wasn't just classified or zere would 'ave been some trace left somewhere; ze records are simply gone. Someone 'as gone to great pains to make sure zat no one, Falk or 'uman, could find whatever information zey are trying to 'ide from us now."

Sasori's head was spinning, and it was several minutes before he could properly process this information. "So, just to make sure we're clear," Kisame began, seeing that his comrade wasn't in a state to speak, "A human company that is supposedly bankrupt has somehow managed to get their technology onto an alien planet in the middle of an inter-planetary war. This company was only supposedly developing technology for use under seas, but something with their logo attacked several Falks on dry land. And that attack just happened to coincide with Orochimaru's takeover of Regi, a move for which the motives are still unknown. Somehow I doubt that was a coincidence."

"But why are Orochimaru and NADSRaD working together?" Sasori asked. "What possible connection could a black market king and a research company possibly have?"

"I don't know," Konan admitted. "But if we can get our 'ands on Orochimaru, I'm sure we'll get some answers. And I already 'ave a plan to do just zat."


	32. Chapter 31

Twelve hours. That was how long Konan had requested she be given before she told the human and Falks of her strategy to find and take down Orochimaru. Twelve hours for her to gather intelligence and supplies, twelve hours to iron out the details of her plans, twelve hours to come up with a way to save VUM, the humans in their company, and possibly the entire planet of Verden, if Domini was set to fall after Regi.

To Sasori, this translated to twelve hours of glorious sleep.

He'd gone straight to his new quarters after Konan had dismissed them, shut off the lights and flopped down on his bunk with an audible thud, shutting his eyes in bliss. When was the last time he'd gotten a good night's sleep? Probably back before the humans' ship had been blown up in space, now that he thought about it. Ever since, his life had been a constant stream of worry and uncertainty about what was to happen next to them, and the fear of death was ever-present. For the time being at least, the VUM was safe in a place that no one but _no one_ knew anything about and had a plan in the works, giving him both peace of mind and something to look forward to. He knew this tranquility wouldn't last; calm moments in war never did, so he was going to take advantage of this now.

His head had barely hit the pillow, however, when Deidara came into their room and locked the door shut behind him. The blond Falk was clearly worried, judging by the look on his face and the jerky movements of his hands, which prompted Sasori to sit up. "Deidara, what's wrong?"

Deidara crossed the small room to sit on the edge of Sasori's bed and grabbed the redhead's hand to squeeze tight. "Regi's fallen," he whispered. "And not to human attacks, un. Falks did that, danna."

"I know," Sasori replied. "It's awful, Deidara."

"It's more than that, un!" Deidara sighed and clicked something under his breath. "We're in the middle of a war with your planet, and that's when these Sound Mind *hissss click* decide to attack?! Most of the people they killed were war refugees too, un!"

"Deidara, that's almost certainly why they chose to attack now," Sasori explained, trying not to trigger a bout of rage in the temperamental blond. Whoever wrote that crap in their soldiers' manuals about Falks being reserved and devoid of most emotions had clearly never studied Falks at all, or at least only observed a particularly calm (and possibly sedated) specimen. "If they'd attacked in peacetime, your army almost certainly would have beaten them pretty quickly, right?"

"Yeah, un," Deidara agreed with a nod.

"Then this was their only chance to stage a successful coup," Sasori reasoned. "That's all they cared about."

"But why did they have to kill all those innocent Falks, un?!" Deidara demanded, voice full of rage.

"I don't know, Deidara. But we'll make them pay, I promise." Deidara let out a series of soft chirps that Sasori could now recognize as crying, and he quietly pulled Deidara close to hug him. "Shh, Deidara…"

"Why can't this stupid war be over?" Deidara whimpered, burrowing into Sasori's chest as the redhead squeezed him tightly. "I lost my family, un. I lost my village. And now everyone's turning against each other, un. I'm so sick of this, un."

Sasori lowered them to the bed and rubbed Deidara's back, comforting the blond as he quietly sobbed on their shared bed. So much for a peaceful nap. "It'll be ok, Deidara," Sasori assured him. "We have a plan now, and we have a clear enemy. Whatever happens after we beat Orochimaru and the Sound Minds, we can worry about later."

"I hate this," Deidara whispered. "It was so easy to be happy after I escaped from Orochimaru, un. I was free. And now it feels like I'll never get away."

Deidara's comment made Sasori remember a conversation he'd had with Konan a long time ago about Deidara, and although the moment might not be perfect, he needed to ask a few questions. The Deidara he saw and the Deidara Konan saw were clearly two different creatures; which one was real? "Deidara, when I first picked you up from the crash site, what was your plan? I mean, there's no way you decided to fling yourself into deep space without considering what would happen next."

"…"

"Deidara?"

The Falk's arms wrapped themselves tightly around Sasori. "You're not allowed to hate me, un. Understand?"

The blond's words concerned Sasori, but he gently returned the embrace. "Just tell me the truth."

Deidara sighed. "I never intended to crash, un. Originally I wanted to get away from Verden and stay in one of the colonies in the asteroid fields until the war ended. But then I crashed, and I had to come up with a new plan, un. I sent out a distress call and waited for someone to answer. And that someone was you, un."

"Ok," Sasori said, encouraging the blond to go on.

"I had two plans before I crashed, depending on what my rescuer was like, un. When I woke up, you seemed kind and didn't look like you wanted to shoot me even with your hand on the gun; there was just a scared look in your eyes. Not to mention you'd bothered to carry me to your camp, so the…odds? of you suddenly choosing to kill me were fairly low. So I played on emotions to guilt you into saving me, un."

Sasori's stomach tightened a bit; Konan had suggested something like that to him, after all, so it wasn't new information to him. But it still hurt to have that confirmed. Wait…"So what was your other plan?"

"I had a knife in my pocket, un. If my rescuer seemed hostile when I woke up, I was going to play dead until the soldier came close enough for me to stab him."

Sasori's eyes widened as he looked down at Deidara in shocked horror. The blond said it so calmly, so matter-of-fact, so completely unlike the Deidara that Sasori knew. "What?"

Deidara glanced up at Sasori, a blank look on his face. "The situation would have been, um, I think you call it kill or be killed. I had to be ready for anything, un."

Sasori could see the blond's logic; but that still didn't change how cold Deidara seemed in that moment. No, he couldn't get bogged down in those feelings now, or he'd never hear all of Deidara's side of the story. Best to move on to the next phase. "So then we got onto the ship. What next?"

"The plan was still to get off and escape once we reached a colony, un. I played dumb and cute so you wouldn't change your mind and turn me in to your commander, un. Once we landed somewhere, I was going to sneak away."

Sasori's stomach knotted in on itself. "So, you agreeing to have me smuggle you back to Earth…"

"Was a lie, un," Deidara confirmed. "So was most of the kindness I showed you in the early days, un."

Sasori shut his eyes and took a deep breath. "But you seemed so happy when we were heading back to Verden-"

"Of course I seemed that way, un," Deidara snapped, "We were being held by a group of rebels with Verden in the name of their organization, un! If they suspected that I was going to just sneak off the first chance I got, they would've locked me up!"

"So basically, everything you said or did from the time I met you was just a pile of lies to keep yourself safe," Sasori concluded, letting slip a little more bitterness than was probably wise.

"My planet's a warzone, Sasori danna. Any Falk in my position with my intelligence would've done the same thing, un."

The redhead could see the logic in Deidara's actions; so why did it hurt so much to hear that?

"For what it's worth, I did start to like you, un," Deidara admitted softly. "You were kind to me when you had no reason to be. You even tried to defend me in front of Kisame. That's why I didn't run away when we first got to Verden, un. I really do care about you, Sasori danna. I want to stay with you now, un."

"Why?" Sasori whispered.

"Why what?"

Sasori pulled himself free from Deidara's arms and sat up. "Why can't you be honest with me! You lied to me when I landed to rescue you, you lied on the Akatsuki, you lied when the VUM took us in, and you lied about what touching my neck meant! Is there anything you've done that wasn't solely for your benefit?!"

"I did what I had to do to survive, un!" Deidara argued, sitting up as well.

"Bullshit!" Sasori snapped. "You didn't have to pretend to be so cheerful and ditzy, you could have asked Konan if you could be transferred to a refugee group; hell, you could have just come out and said you liked me!"

"Those plans all had a high risk of failure, un!" Deidara shot back in an exasperated tone. "The lies were safer for me at the time!"

"After everything we went through together?!"

"I'm telling you the truth now, un! Isn't that good enough?!"

Sasori sighed in exasperation and flopped down on the bed, turning his back to Deidara. "I can't deal with this right now."

"That's not fair, un!" Deidara cried out as he grabbed Sasori's shoulder and tried to turn him over. "You promised you wouldn't hate me, un!"

"I never promised that, I just told you to answer my question," Sasori snapped and jerked his shoulder free of Deidara. "And I don't hate you, I'm just incredibly mad at you."

"How is that different, un?!"

"It just is. I'm done talking to you." Sasori pulled up the blanket and burrowed as far down into his pillow as he could. The puppeteer fully expected Deidara to get up and move to his own bunk at that point. He, at least, had no intention of sleeping next to the blond tonight.

But Deidara didn't move. He sat there in silence for a while, and finally laid down next to Sasori. "I'm sorry, danna."

"…"

"Really, I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as I have to until you believe me, danna." Quietly, the Falk draped his arm over Sasori and snuggled closer to the redhead. And although Sasori didn't reciprocate, he didn't pull away.

-n-

Ten hours. Ten hours until they had to leave their room and go to a meeting with Konan. Ten hours until Kakuzu was assigned new orders that would almost certainly put him in the line of danger again, just as new orders would be assigned to Hidan to keep the loudmouth near the VUM base. Ten hours left for Kakuzu to heal before he'd have to head back into battle, stitches and all. Needless to say, Hidan was more than a bit disgruntled.

"I'm just saying, there's dozens of guys here who haven't been shot to shit!" Hidan argued with Kakuzu for the hundreth time that day. "You can barely sit up without tearing open your side again, Jashin damnit!"

"_Konan needs me_," Kakuzu replied simply. "_Someone betrayed us. She needs to have Falks she trusts nearby for now."_

"Yeah, but…aren't there Falks that she can trust who _don't_ have a fucking huge gaping hole in their side?"

"_Not enough_," Kakuzu answered simply.

Hidan sighed and shook his head; clearly this conversation was going to get them nowhere. Instead, he opted for a different line of questioning. They had a few hours and neither of them were tired, so they could at least make conversation about a more pleasant topic. "So dumbass, you've been with VUM for a while now, right?"

"_Since my family died,"_ Kakuzu replied.

"Oh." Well that got dark fast.

"_It was a bombing raid early in the war. I found Konan and Pein a little bit after, when VUM didn't even have a name_," Kakuzu explained, trying to be calm in the face of Hidan's discomfort. "_They're all I have now_."

"So that's why Konan trusts you? Because you've been around for fucking ever?"

Kakuzu nodded. "_I'd do anything for her." _

"Even watch an obnoxious Jashin-damned human?" Hidan asked with a smirk.

"_Of course. I'd kill or die for her if I needed to. Which might happen if I'm stuck around you for much longer_."

Hidan rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Jackass. But it's pretty cool that you're so devoted to her."

Kakuzu's hands formed a few meaningless signs, until at last he gave up and scribbled onto the notepad nearby. _"She means as much as a sister to me." _He paused for a minute, wiggling his fingers, before he resorted to painfully slowly spelling out, "_I love her_."

"That's this sign," Hidan explained, making the right sign for Kakuzu. Once the banker had it down, the zealot took a minute to think about what the Falk had just said. "Huh, so you love her like a sister. Wait, does that make Pein like a brother to you then?"

"_No, just a comrade_."

"Gotcha. Hmm…"

"_What_?"

"Ok, so you've been in VUM for freaking ever, so you probably fucking know everyone around here, right?"

"_It's part of my job_," Kakuzu confirmed. "_I gather information for Konan and help her remember it."_

"I can see that. So, out of all those Falks you studied…did you ever find a girlfriend?"

_"__Girl friend?"_ Kakuzu spelled out.

"One word, dumbass, like this," Hidan signed. "You know, someone you dated."

"_Date_?"

"Urgh, fucking hell. Romantic love! Dating is when you share romantic love with another person, Jashin damnit."

Kakuzu gave up signing and began writing in the notebook sitting on the nearby end table. "_No. I was too young before the war, and after I became scarred it wasn't possible."_

"Wait, seriously?"

"_Yes. Why_?"

Hidan gave the banker a surprised look. "Shit. I mean, you can't be the only Falk that got fucked up in the war, for Jashin's sake."

"_There are many who weren't_," Kakuzu explained. "_At least physically."_

"But still…" Hidan groped for the right words. "You're amazing! Fuck, if it weren't for you a ton of these fuckers would've died when Regi fell! How can they not see that after all the shit you do for them?"

"_This coming from you_?"

"Oh fuck off, even if you're an insufferable dumbass I can still respect your military skills. Especially given all the times you've saved my ass."

Kakuzu gave his friend a look somewhere between amusement and confusion. _"Are you thanking me?"_

"Don't push it, dumbass." Hidan's brows rose in surprise as Kakuzu let out a wheezy chuckle. "Holy hell, you can laugh too?"

"_Just around you, so keep it quiet."_

"Tch, fine with me." Hidan stretched and yawned before flopping backwards onto the foot of Kakuzu's bunk. "Fuck, I guess we should get some shuteye while we can, huh?"

"_Shut eye_?" Kakuzu wrote.

"Jashin damnit, shuteye means sleep. Also one word."

"_Bandages_?" Kakuzu signed, pointing to his side.

"Right, probably need to adjust those again, since _some_ dumb fucker keeps ripping his stitches," Hidan remarked as he pushed himself off his bunk and walked over to Kakuzu's.

The Falk unraveled his bandages and set them in a pile on the floor, pleased to see less blood on them than the bandages that he'd been wearing after the stitches tore. The medical bay certainly wasn't happy with him after they found out about his ripping their hard work like that, but they nevertheless supplied him with clean bandages to take back to his own room after stitching his side back up. These bandages were still pretty bloody, but at least it was starting to clot; hopefully Kakuzu could soon forgo them entirely. The Falk started unwinding the next roll and held the end in place, keeping tension on them as Hidan wrapped the bandages around him.

Hidan kept his attention on the bandages, though his eyes kept drifting to the fresh wounds on Kakuzu's side. "You really scared me, dumbass," Hidan remarked. "I thought you were gonna fucking bleed out on me."

"…"

"You really were just going to fucking sit there and die on me if I didn't drag your sorry ass out of that tunnel, weren't you?"

"_I was prepared to die_," Kakuzu stated.

"Shit Kakuzu, just because you're comfortable dying for VUM doesn't mean you can just sit down and fucking give up!" Hidan snapped, tucking in the tail of the bandage with a bit more force than was necessary. "What about Konan and Pein, huh? Or those fucking newbies we picked up in Regi that couldn't shoot for shit? What about…"

"What?"

"What about me?" Hidan demanded. "Shit, you've been looking out for me this whole time; you're not allowed to just keel over and die on me, got that?"

There was a pause. Then Hidan suddenly felt hands on his shoulders jerking him into Kakuzu's lap, disrupting his efforts to bandage up Kakuzu. "What the-?! You're going to hurt yourself again, you fucking dumbass!"

"Shh," Kakuzu hushed, and then began scrawling on his pad again. "_You'd be fine without me. The others would keep an eye on you, to make sure you don't get yourself killed for saying something stupid."_

"Yeah, but…just because I _could_ keep go without you doesn't mean I fucking wanna. Or fucking should have to, so don't go volunteering for any suicide missions, got it?"

Kakuzu made another sound like a weak laugh. "Yes, shii-shi."

"First thing I do when this war ends is gonna be finding a Jashin-damned dictionary and looking that fucking word up," Hidan grumbled as he began bandaging up Kakuzu again. If either of them cared that Hidan was still in Kakuzu's lap, they didn't say so.

-n-

_Two soldiers waited in Kisame Hoshigaki's quarters before their mission, both nervous in their own way. Kisame paced nervously about the room, wringing his hands, whereas his companion sat quietly on the shark's bed, looking over a mission brief in his lap. "Calm down, Kisame."_

_"__I'm exactly as calm as I need to be," Kisame grumpily retorted, although he did stop pacing. "If anything, you should be more nervous, Itachi!"_

_Itachi shook his head and decided to throw in an eye roll for good measure; he'd always enjoyed that particular human gesture. "Everything will be fine. We'll go in, drop off the supplies, and be back before you can realize how foolish your worrying is."_

_"__I know, I just…it's a bad feeling, you know? Maybe it's because I can't go with you this time, but maybe it's something else. Get it?"_

_"__No. Falks are fortunately immune to these 'feelings of doom' you humans are so prone to."_

_"__Itachi…"_

_The Uchiha finally rose from his bed and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around the shark. It was almost cute, how worried the mighty commander would get before little missions like this. "I'll be fine. Besides, if anything happens to me, you'll be there to rescue me, right?"_

_"__Tch, of course," Kisame promised, smiling as he bent down for a kiss-_

BANG WHOP BANG

"Oh goddamn it!"

Kisame started awake, having been pulled from his dream by the sound of someone dropping what sounded like a small tank in the hall outside his door. Probably one of the clerks moving crates or documents while others tried to catch a bit of sleep; Konan's meeting was only six hours off now. But since there appeared to be no danger, the shark felt no need to get out of bed. In fact, he was probably better off trying to steal a few more hours of sleep. And so Kisame allowed the last few moments of his dream to replay briefly in his head, before rolling over in bed and shutting his eyes once again. "Damn it all to hell."

-n-

Two hours. Two hours to the meeting with Konan. Two hours left for plotting, strategizing, doing his part to help the VUM's leader plan how to come back from this catastrophe. And all Itachi could bring himself to do now was tear his room apart, trying to find something that he would swear on his life had made it out of Regi with him but then vanished.

The Falk had already inverted his bag, turned over his mattress and shaken out the covers, and was about to start prying the frame of the air duct off the wall when a voice suddenly spoke to him from the doorway. "_Looking for this, un?"_

Itachi jerked his head around to see Deidara standing in the doorway, dangling a small black necklace off of a single finger. _"You're lucky, un. I remember you wearing this the first time we met, un. If someone else had seen this in the airship, they would have turned it in to the lost and found or just kept it for themselves."_

"_Give it back,"_ Itachi requested calmly as he rose to his feet.

_"__Why, un? This is the necklace Kisame gave you, isn't it? I'm surprised you haven't burned it, un."_

_"__Deidara, you'll give that back to me now or I will rip your eyes out and feed them to you."_

_"__Fine, un. But that wouldn't stop me from telling a certain heartbroken human that you kept this little token of affection even after swearing you wanted him dead, now would it, un?"_

Itachi stared coldly at the blond Falk. _"What do you want, un?"_

_"__Sasori's angry at me, un. You know humans better than me, un; you had to study them for your work. Tell me how to fix it."_

_"__What exactly did you do?"_

Deidara rolled his head, a gesture of exasperation Itachi knew quite well among the other Falkian troops. _"I acted like a Falk when he expected me to be a human."_

Itachi made a similar gesture. _"There's not much you can do. Humans are small-minded creatures; they spent too long alone on their little rock of a planet, and now it comes as a shock when other creatures don't act like they do."_

_"__They can't help it; we'd be the same if it weren't for the other planets so close to ours, un. Itachi, did you ever hear about their satellites, un?"_

_"__The Voyager project,"_ Itachi confirmed plainly. _"How else do you think we found Earth? We certainly weren't looking for it."_

_"__I know. But Sasori made it sound so sad, un. Like humans were these lonely little creatures trying to find someone, anyone else in space to communicate with them, un. You'd think they were screaming in the middle of an empty city, just hoping someone else was there and could hear them."_

_"__We'd all be better off if they'd just stayed silent_," Itachi snapped.

_"__Maybe. But still…they're wonderful in their own way, un. They just have a lot to learn, un. And I've never felt a pull towards a Falk like I feel towards them, un. We could help them be better, Itachi."_

Itachi stepped forward and snatched the necklace away. _"You're right about them needing to learn. Just so you know, there's nothing you can do about Sasori; either he'll calm down or stay angry. At best, you just need to keep acting nice; think human."_

_"__All right, un. Itachi?"_

_"__What?"_

_"__I think you're too hard on them, un. Do you know Kisame never went after anyone else when you were captured, un? Not even for a kiss, un. It's like he spent the past few years in mourning for you, un."_

_"…"_

_"__I bet he's not even angry about what you said to him, or that you hit him, un. All he cared about was seeing you again. If you talk to him-"_

_"__Get out,"_ Itachi hissed. _"Get out, and if you say a single word to Kisame I will tear your tongue from your head with my bare hands and watch you bleed out."_

Deidara scoffed at Itachi's harsh words and turned to leave the Albini's chambers. _"Go ahead. But you know what, un? I'd still be better off than you, because at least if I get hurt I have Sasori to hold me and patch me up, no matter how mad he seems, un. You're so stubborn that you'll spend the rest of your life licking your own wounds and wishing Kisame was there, un."_ At that point, Deidara had to duck and run from the room when Itachi hurled a chair at his head.

Hissing and cursing the blond in the name of every human god he could remember (especially the more vengeful ones from the stories of smiting and hexing) Itachi slammed the door shut, and then hid the necklace under his pillow. He didn't need to wear the damn thing; he just couldn't work up the nerve to throw it away yet.


	33. Chapter 32

The grim look on Konan's face spoke volumes about the tone of the meeting. Deidara had taught Sasori some body language, and his training had given him a guidebook on basic facial expressions to watch out for, so the redhead quickly recognized the flattened ears and off-centered jaw as a sign that Konan was distressed. He took a seat next to Kisame, being careful to flag down Hidan to sit beside him. Deidara noticed this but said nothing, choosing instead to quietly sit behind the Akasuna as he whispered another apology, following the dozens he'd already voiced since his discussion with Sasori. Sasori, for his part, said nothing. At the moment, he still needed plenty of space from the blond Falk.

Sasori glanced around the room, trying to see who all would be attending this meeting. Kakuzu sat at the front of the room near Pein, and Itachi wasn't far off, sitting beside Tsunade. Only a few other Falks were present; most were still doing their normal jobs around the camp, along with Tobi. This appeared to be a small meeting to discuss private matters, and whatever course of action they decided on would be announced to the masses a little later.

In the midst of his thinking, the lights in the room went dim; the last person must have arrived, and the meeting was about to start. Konan stepped to the front of the room and clicked for attention, although all eyes were already on her. "Zank you for joining me today," she said, voice firm and businesslike. "As many of you know, Regi 'as suffered a great tragedy, and while we were lucky enough to escape wiz few casualties, many in ze city above were not so lucky."

Heads around the room nodded in agreement.

"Many of you 'ave questions about what went wrong. Who could 'ave found our base? An accident? Or somezing more sinister?" She paused here and shut her eyes for a brief moment, gathering herself before going on. "We sent a team back to ze remains of our camp. Zere, we found ze bodies of several of our comrades…among zem was my old friend Jiraiya, along wiz ze remains of some sensitive documents." Hushed whispers broke out but were silenced by a motion from Konan. "I do not know if Jiraiya willingly betrayed us or was forced to; I would like to believe ze second option, but now we shall never know. At zis point, we must assume zat a good portion of our information, including locations of our bases and at least some information on our commanding officers, 'as been, as ze 'umans say, utterly compromised."

More whispers broke out at this news, even louder and more anxious then before. Sasori also felt a knot in his stomach; what if those documents mentioned something about the humans under the VUM's care? Information like that could be spun in a dozen different ways, and none of them were favorable for Konan and her men.

"Fortunately for now, we are safe in zis base," Konan stated loudly, redirecting their attention to her. "None but Pein or myself could provide ze location of zis place, so zere is no way zat our enemies will find us. In addition, ze coup led by ze Sound Minds will no doubt draw the attention of the Verden armed forces, and may even attract 'uman intervention. Zis may be our best chance to try and track down Orochimaru.

As some of you are aware, we 'ave reason to believe that Orochimaru is somehow connected to the Sound Minds, but we strongly doubt that 'e is actually present in Regi wiz zem. Even before ze war broke out, zat *hiss click hissss* always preferred to live off-planet. A decent cloaking system would make 'is ship impossible to track; but, victory makes people confident, and confidence, as you say, breeds foolishness. All our attentions are focused on re-infiltrating Regi now to tap into ze communication lines zere; eventually, someone will say somezing stupid zat will lead us to zis bastard. For now, we shall stay at zis base and try to reorganize ourselves. Some will be sent to ozer bases zat can use zeir talent; but most of you need to keep your men 'ere, and prepare for a battle. I know we are more inclined to sneaking and pulling strings from a distance, but at zis point we cannot afford to simply wait around for ozers to act on our information. Be ready; ze move could come in weeks, or a few short days. If you 'ave any more questions, talk to Pein. I 'ave ozer business to attend to now." The lights came on as Konan walked to the back of the room, her small feet echoing loudly on the metal floors. Not a word was spoken until she'd left the room.

-n-

"So, what do you think?"

Sasori looked up from his tray of food, which had to be balanced carefully on his lap since they were eating in his room. Things were tense at the base right now, so the humans were choosing to keep a low profile, and part of that involved staying in their rooms as much as possible. "About what?"

Hidan gave his friend a disbelieving look. "Shit, about all of that! Fuck, Konan's acting like we're about to hold a Jashin-damned funeral, Kakuzu's doing that weird quiet panic thing, this Orochimaru fucker knows all about VUM and us now…c'mon, you've gotta have _something_ to say!"

Sasori took a bite of biscuit and thought for a minute. "I feel like whatever happens, we're going to get hurt," he stated plainly. "Whoever's behind all our troubles, Orochimaru or NADSRaD or someone else, they've always been a step ahead of us. They'd cleaned out the mines almost completely when we got there, they knew to poison a VUM unit and that Zabuza guy, they knew to go to Jiraiya for intel, they knew to delete more than a few files on NADSRaD back on Earth…who's to say they don't know that we're waiting for Orochimaru to slip up? Hell, if Orochimaru is the one behind all this he might deliberately feed us bad info to lure the VUM into a trap and wipe the rest of us out!"

Hidan whistled. "Damn, knew you had an opinion, but man, that was fucking intense."

Sasori shrugged. "I'm sure Konan and most of the members in her inner circle are thinking the same thing. Kakuzu probably would tell you the same."

"Tch, if he felt like signing it all out instead of just calling me stupid," Hidan chuckled. "Fucker."

Sasori smirked. "You know, for someone who supposedly hates Falks, you seem to get along pretty well with Kakuzu."

Hidan shrugged. "Some of 'em aren't too bad, like Kakuzu and Konan. I could do without getting my ass shot off by those pilots out in space, and if I ever find the fuckers that killed my brother…" he shook his head. "Besides, Kakuzu needs me."

"_He_ needs _you_?"

"Ass," Hidan said, shoving a chuckling Sasori. "Fucker needs help with his stitches at least. Besides, I'm the only one around here he can talk to without a Jashin-damned pen and pad, so there's that too."

"I guess."

"Stop smirking like that, asshole! You and that fucking blond aren't any better."

Sasori's merriment died down somewhat at the comment. "Deidara and I aren't always together."

"The hell you aren't. He follows you around like a fucking duckling, and you always let him." Hidan frowned. "Hey, did you guys fight or something? 'Cause he looks like a kicked puppy and you've been in a shit mood all day."

"Nothing happened," Sasori stated.

"Yeah, but-"

"Nothing. Happened. Hidan."

Hidan gave his friend a long look and finally sighed before going back to his food. 'Whatever you say."

-several hours later-

Kakuzu peered up from his spot on the bed when he heard the door open. Hidan stepped in and shut the door behind him with a metallic thud. He didn't seem to notice the Falk at first, and it wasn't until Kakuzu sat up that he realized he wasn't alone. "Hey, you're back. How was your chat with Konan?" Hidan had known that Kakuzu would be speaking with the blue-haired Falk after the meeting; frankly, he'd been expecting his mute friend to be gone for far longer.

"_Not good. She's panicking and hasn't slept in a long time,"_ Kakuzu rapidly signed. "_I told her to stop making plans until she gets some rest, but I think it fell on_…" here he had to spell out 'deaf ears' with an obviously frustrated look on his face.

"Here, these signs," Hidan showed him. "Stop getting so worked up, dumbass. You're talking in a third language based on your second language. You're not gonna understand everything in a month."

Kakuzu's response was to flop backwards on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. "So, what are we supposed to do now?" Hidan asked. "Just sit on our asses until they send us out to fight?"

"_Yes_."

"Tch, fuck that," the Jashinist grumbled. "I fucking hate waiting."

"_Never would have guessed_."

"You are seriously the most sarcastic Falk bastard I've ever met." Kakuzu shrugged, and Hidan took this as his cue to change the subject. "So, any idea what Sasori and Deidara are fighting about?"

"_Fighting_?"

"You seriously didn't notice? Deidara's all mopey and shit, and Sasori's being super defensive. I dunno, maybe it's stress from the move, but something's up with those two." Kakuzu frowned but said nothing. "See, you noticed it too! So what do you think happened?"

Kakuzu shrugged.

"Oh don't give me that shit. C'mon, it's your job to know what's going on with everyone around here; you've got to have some idea!" Kakuzu shook his head, and Hidan's eyes narrowed as his resolve to get an answer out of his friend grew in strength. "Tell me. Or I'll start whining again."

"_That ended badly for you_," Kakuzu pointed out.

"Well this time I'll have the upper hand," Hidan boldly declared. "You can't pin me if I pin you first, jackass!" And before Kakuzu had time to react, Hidan was on top of him, using his arms to pin the Falk's shoulders as he straddled the Falk's thighs to pin his lower body, careful to avoid the stitches in his side. "Now just try and get out without talking, bastard!" Hidan dared him with a sinister grin. "Or signing. Shit, you know what I mean!"

Unfortunately Hidan had either underestimated the strength of Kakuzu's arms or overestimated his own ability to restrain his opponent, because Kakuzu barely batted an eye at knocking Hidan's arms off of his own, wrecking the Jashinist's balance and sending him falling forward. Hidan managed to catch himself on his forearms and braced himself above the Falk, giving Kakuzu an angry look. "Watch it, dumbass! I could've hurt you."

"…"

"Dumbass? Hey, you in there?"

It was at that moment that Hidan realized how close their faces were now, and that Kakuzu's attack had caused his torso to fall forward to cover Kakuzu's chest. He could feel the warmth radiating off the Falk, and the slow steady heartbeat below. Kakuzu's face had a strange expression now, whereas Hidan's was probably a mix of panic and embarrassment as his cheeks flushed red. "Um, I…"

Hidan was about to suggest that he needed to get up, maybe even throw in a bit of humor and admit defeat to Kakuzu, when the Falk suddenly moved his hands to Hidan's thighs, holding him in place. The zealot looked down in confusion, and then back to Kakuzu for an explanation. "Kakuzu?"

The hands slowly moved upwards, sliding over Hidan's hips, then his waist, his ribs, and finally curled around his shoulders. Hidan, for his part, squeezed Kakuzu's upper arms out of nervousness as his heart sped up. Something was about to happen, he could tell; but what?

His answer came a moment later when Kakuzu leaned up and nipped at the side of his neck.

Hidan started and swore softly but didn't try to move. He'd had partners go for his neck before in the middle of a makeout session, but this was different. Kakuzu's lips were much firmer against his skin, his tongue more maneuverable and warm, and frankly the Falk was doing a very good job of convincing Hidan not to stop him. Silently, Hidan tilted his head to the side, praying that the Falk would recognize the human sign for 'keep doing that.'

He needn't have worried. A second later Kakuzu had sat up, keeping Hidan straddling him as he adjusted his grip and continued to run his mouth along the Jashinist's very sensitive neck. Hidan practically whimpered when he felt teeth scrape over his skin, followed by lips sucking over the same spot. It had been a very long time since he'd had a partner for this, and frankly he'd never had one that felt so good.

A moment later Kakuzu broke off and leaned back, giving Hidan a moment to collect himself as he gently rubbed the side of his neck that surely had a hickey now. Only then did the reality of the situation set in, as he looked up into Kakuzu's eyes with a startled expression in his own. "Did we…?"

Kakuzu nodded.

"And that, um…fuck, that meant something to you, right? Other than an attraction to how insanely hot I am, right?"

Kakuzu rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Right. Ok. Shit."

"_Hidan_?"

"This…we need to talk about this…holy fucksticks, I just made out with a Jashin-damned alien."

"_Hidan_."

"Hold on, just one sec." In a flash Hidan was out of Kakuzu's lap and crossing the room towards the door. Kakuzu felt something in his stomach twist; if Hidan walked out of the room now and left him alone, after he took a risk like that, there was no telling what he'd do.

But the Jashinist didn't leave; rather, he locked the door from the inside and then turned around to walk right back to Kakuzu. "Ok, um, we should probably talk about this. Like, a serious talk. Because this is serious."

Kakuzu nodded in agreement, wondering if perhaps he'd broken the human. Hidan didn't seem to be quite right at the moment, what with the lack of swearing and all.

"But, um, before we do that…can you do that neck thing again? Because that was fucking awesome. Like, oh my Jashin, where the fuck did you learn how to do that awesome."

Kakuzu chuckled and then motioned for the Jashinist to climb into his lap again, which Hidan did as quickly as his concern for Kakuzu's stitches would allow. Moments later, the Falk was nipping at Hidan's skin while the Jashinist dug his fingers into Kakuzu's shoulders.


End file.
